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Characteristics Women Find Attractive in Aspergers Men

Men with Aspergers (high functioning autism) have many qualities that can be attractive to a prospective partner:

• A lot of men with Aspergers seem to really see women for who they are, not being drawn into the cultural limitations that women must fit a certain mold.

• An appealing factor for the woman might be the fact that her Aspergers partner is not the “macho type” and doesn’t wish to spend time with other men at sporting events or drinking alcohol.

• I have had many women describe to me how their Aspergers partner resembled their father. Having a parent with the signs of Aspergers may have contributed to their choice of partner as an adult.

• Many women describe their first impressions of their Aspergers partner as being kind, attentive, and socially or emotionally immature (the “silent, handsome stranger”).

• Often the Aspergers partner is more reliable, honest and steady. As a result, there’s usually much less “game playing.”

• Physical characteristics and attentiveness can be important, especially if the woman has doubts regarding her own self-esteem and physical attractiveness.

• The Aspergers partner can be admired for speaking his mind, even if the comments may be perceived as offensive by others, due to his strong sense of social justice and clear moral beliefs.

• The attractiveness of a person with Aspergers in a prospective relationship can be enhanced by intellectual ability, career prospects, and degree of attentiveness during courtship. Sometimes, however, this attentiveness could be perceived by others as almost obsessive, and the words and actions appear to have been learned from watching and rehearsing lines from a romantic movie.

• The intellectual depth of an Aspergers man can be very appealing as well.

• The man’s lack of social and conversational skills can lead to his being perceived as the “silent stranger” whose social naivety can be transformed by a partner who is a natural expert on empathy and socializing.

• The person with Aspergers can be a late-bloomer in terms of relationship experiences, which also can be an attractive feature.

• Lastly, there may be no previous relationship “baggage.”
  
Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

14 comments:

  1. This list is great and spot on!!! Thanks

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    1. Wrong about relationship "baggage." My boyfriend is attached to a drug addicted, control freak ex whom he thinks he can't break free from cause he's known her for 8 years. She is seriously bad news and has gotten him to smoke pot and lose his limo license. She gets him around trashy people and he is very well educated. I thought he was "seeing the light" about her finally but now, I'm not sure...he's acting squirrely - making me think he's in contact with that witch again. And yes, she is a REAL witch. I mean she practices it on him.

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  2. Thank you. I am struggling with my husband's diagnosis after 20 years of marriage. This has helped me see why I fell in love with him

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  3. I suspected my husband had HFA .Our son was diagnosed at age 33. They both display these characteristics. Our son is on two medications per a psychiatrist and he is now blooming and happy, able to function without worry regarding dealing "with people" this chat is very illuminating this morning where husband melts down every time he approaches doing the disher...HA.....I now understand....thanks to all

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  4. ive been diagnosed with high functioning Asperger since i was 9 i am now 21. this list is interesting, it gives in-site and i am at the stage where i am going in to a relationship with a girl so this might be able to help

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  5. I am a 62 year old gay man who had struggled with social and other issues related to HFA and Asperger's. Was recently diagnosed with HFA (informed they do not use the term Asperger's anymore although it is easier for others to understand than HFA.) Have always had major difficulty with the social side of employment, etc even though I am an intelligent guy and a hard worker. I found quite a bit of relief in the diagnosis and some explanations for a lot of the difficulties I have had growing up and as an adult. I am fortunate that I have an understanding husband (been together 38 years) and extended family. I have not shared this with many of them but am slowly coming out to them about it. I have always been puzzled by the behavior of others and the lack of a "playbook" that explains it. Low frustration level with people and as a senior, am bothered by the lack of friends and at a loss on how to fix that. Am bothered terribly by noise and crowds and would rather work on my hobbies alone than have to deal with it

    Appreciate the positive demeanor of this site. I am learning where my areas of difficulty are and getting some coping skills to deal with it.

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  6. Where is the article that reads "Characteristics that men find attractive in Aspergers women"?

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    1. Don't worry scientific study's have shown that. Only men with autism have difficulty finding love. So in that case I am so jelly right now.

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  7. I have Aspergers, but have never dated and I keep worrying about my negative traits, and potential sex issues........

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  8. I have hafar savant syndrome syinisthea and I have never had a serous relationship in my life. The closet thing I have ever had was a child hood freand who with a loving heart took pity on me... And lied!!!(oh it's not your Asperger's syndrome I just like on there kinds of people . I don't want to hurt you.) look I'm a numaricaly obsesed weirdo.but Im okay with that I don't need anybody particularly if they lie. Look guys if your autistic and you a man just be you and be celibate and just except you fate gracfully. It's a hell of a lot easier than thinking you have to be with somebody and lerning to hate your self. You were born alone! You will live alone!! And you will die alone!!! Everything you hold dear is fleeting and everything in life is made pointless by death. So don't waste this fleeting moment fretting about girls and what you can't have. Instead think about what you do have.and attachment to anything or any one is a pathway to pain.

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  9. I was in a relationship with an asperger man for 6 years, i meet him when his mother was living in another country so we had problems becouse i didn't know he was asperger I find out on our 2nd brake up about 2 years in the relationship, it was so much of a difrence to know becouse i was able to explain my self a lot of things I stop feeling so bad and so not loved or wanted. His mother came to live with him and she literally moved to his house.
    I got all the reading material out there to teach my self on how to cope with the situation becouse I love him and not being part of his life to me is just not an option and we where able to overcome so much I was so proud of him and me, my family took him in with joy and learn to love him trough me. He gave me a ring on February this year and by April we broke up. H8s mother was just histerical about his engagement, he did told me before rhat his mom never liked any of his girlfriends but I I was under the impression he had the situation under control. Unfortunately his mother got histerical, she try to hit me he lost control and I was able to see that he cant handle his mother, the woman controls his son whit fear I was able to see the fear on his eyes. I decided I cant be in that situation, he needs to work on that problem before trying to get a woman in his life. Btw I am 45 he his 34. Feel free to ask or coment I really need some opinions other than from the people that love me and don't know about aspergers.

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    1. Wow.. I'm ASD (not yet official). I've only just split from my mum over the last two years. I'm 39 now, and I never knew though my mum knew kept it from me and it led to an unhappy end when I decided to go no contact. It's been the best decision I ever made as I began to discover life in full!

      Your hubby needs to stand up to his mum. Put some real bass in that voice, as if God came down and was speaking through him. He can do this and also enjoy what he has with you, a sincere loving relationship.

      I hope this helps
      Wizzy

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  10. Most tragic days happened, I used to had feelings on a HFA woman, my mom was a doctor, she said stay away because they're prone to meltdown, she was from Sweden and 26, hot as a model, ended up in 2016..

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    1. Lots of people have arguments and meltdowns. 2 out of 3 marriages end in divorce, so looks like people without asperger's have problems too.

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