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Trust Issues: Tips for Aspergers Husbands

Are there certain behaviors that are causing you to not trust your neurotypical spouse? Do you have unresolved issues that are hindering you from trusting other people in general?

Trust is an essential part of any relationship. Although all relationships have their ups and downs, there are things you can do that may well minimize "trust problems," if not help avoid them altogether. You and your wife can develop trust in each other by following these tips:
  1. Be a good listener.
  2. Be consistent.
  3. Be fair – even in an argument.
  4. Be on time.
  5. Be organized and clear about your respective chores in the home. Write all the chores down and agree on who does what. Be fair: Make sure each spouse’s tasks are equitable so no resentment builds.
  6. Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your spouse is feeling.
  7. Be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. 
  8. Call to say you'll be home late.
  9. Call when you say you will.
  10. Carry your fair share of the workload.
  11. Complement each other.
  12. Contact each other through the day.
  13. Do the things you used to do when you were first dating.
  14. Do what you say you will do.
  15. Don’t be jealous.
  16. Don't dig up old wounds or bring up the past.
  17. Don't lie (not even little white lies).
  18. Don't overreact when things go wrong.
  19. Don't think that your life will be better with someone else; the same problems you have in this relationship (e.g., due to lack of social skills) will still exist in the next relationship.
  20. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other spouse can do the laundry and the yard. As long as it feels fair to both partners, you can be creative and take preferences into account.
  21. Learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. 
  22. Make gestures of appreciation.
  23. Never say things you can't take back.
  24. Respect one another.
  25. Respect your partner's boundaries.
  26. Say "thank you" and "I appreciate you" several times throughout the week. It lets your spouse know that she matters.
  27. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
  28. Show an interest in each other.
  29. Thinking your spouse will meet all your needs – and will be able to figure them out without you having to ask – is simply wishful thinking. Ask for what you need directly.
  30. Use humor.

Living With An Aspergers Partner: Help For Couples

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