tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post6088696526589998716..comments2024-03-28T05:44:03.100-07:00Comments on Support & Education for Adults on the Autism Spectrum: A Wife's Letter to Her Husband with Asperger'sUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-73485508081244326512023-02-14T04:09:12.300-08:002023-02-14T04:09:12.300-08:00Because of the guy our beloved daughter got involv...Because of the guy our beloved daughter got involved with 7 years ago, we no longer get to see our darling, precious grandchildren. Reason? He doesn’t like changes to his routine! It is also said that he is unable to get leave from work or some other feeble excuse. We have helped them out financially countless times over the years & rarely get a thank you now as everything we do seems to just be expected now.<br />We have all seen our lovely daughter change beyond all recognition since she’s been with this guy. She has gone from being a loving, happy, quietly confident, calm & easy going young woman to someone who is so unbelievably tightly wound, stressed, agitated, angry & seems to be so easily triggered by the most innocent comment I make on the phone or on WhatsApp. We have always been incredibly close as she’s our only daughter (also have two sons) but since she met this very controlling guy, she has changed beyond ALL recognition. It is SO sad to see the change in her and even when you hug her now, she feels SO tense that it’s as though she has a steel rod running right through her body 😰<br /><br />We never had any serious disagreements before she got into this relationship & yet in the 7 years that she’s been with him, we have had countless times of falling out and protracted periods of estrangement without any contact whatsoever. This seems to cause him absolutely no problem whatsoever as I have never once received as much as a text message from him saying something like “so sorry to hear you guys have fallen out. Hope you’re able to sort it out asap.” ( or anything - similar or otherwise..just anything at all tbh would have been great). He always wants it to just be them and their two little ones and he hates anyone visiting, or going out in a foursome or coming to visit us. <br />We have always been so welcoming and kind to him but having seen a few months ago just how cold and indifferent he is to my daughter, with absolutely no warmth or affection shown to her from him & how moody he is, making zero effort etc I really have no interest whatsoever anymore in seeing him again.<br />Needless to say, I haven’t said this to my daughter as they are always presenting themselves as a ‘package deal’ & as much as I had absolutely no desire to see him, (given how sad my daughter is now compared to before she met him, as well as how he is with her - treating her like a skivvy whilst showing zero appreciation ) my husband & I figured we had to include him in our invitation as we so desperately wanted to see our two little grandchildren.<br />The most worrying aspect of what transpired between my daughter & I is that now she is coming out with all the exact same excuses he’s used for years & she used to resent …”can’t afford to make the trip” or “can’t get time off work” etc etc..and then she got very angry & said it’s just not going to happen. <br />This, in spite of the fact that we were paying for the rental of the beautiful holiday home & even suggested to my daughter that since her partner could not “get leave from work” that she come alone with the two children & we would pick her up at the airport and she would have us with her for a full week to give her a break and we would do majority of childcare as it’s a real, rare treat for us to see them and they love it, especially the older girl who is 5 years old and had been diagnosed with non verbal autism. 😰 She is SUCH a beautiful child and to this day we have not seen any of the so called legendary meltdowns they have told us about.<br />What we have seen is that her dad makes her very stressed and he is always grabbing at her, taking her away from any other kids who express any interest in playing with her & whenever HE gets all agitated & stressed (which is very often whenever he’s in any social situation - even in a play park) he will remove her, no matter how much she may be enjoying herself.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com