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How To Be "The Better" Employee: Tips for Adults with Aspergers/High-Functioning Autism

Having a career is rewarding, but if significant work-related problems occur, you could be facing the most critical issue in your life. That is because you need that job – you can’t afford to lose it! There may be problems at work from time to time, either with your supervisor or fellow employees. This is sometimes inevitable given that the workplace is where different co-workers try to get along and meet the company’s expectations.

How to be the "better" employee:

1. Ask your boss what the expectations are. This will immediately make you stand out from 99% of your co-workers.

2. Be at least 10 minutes early every day. That way, if you are running late, you will be on time. Also, if you have to park far away, you will walk in and still not be late.

3. Be careful what you say to new co-workers. Don't air your grievances, frustrations, or interpersonal conflicts – and don't gossip!

4. Be on good terms with the gatekeepers. Secretaries, custodians, bookkeepers, cafeteria workers, etc. are all very important co-workers. They are the experts in their departments. Treat these people with respect, because they hold more power than you know. Your reputation with them matters! Also, don’t hang out with other co-workers who disrespect the gatekeepers.

5. Care about your fellow employees. When did you last praise your peers for a job well done? Good feedback from a co-worker can be of great value. Be friendly and offer your time and energy to help others. Pour them coffee. Pick up their trash. Do positive things for your co-workers, and they will do positive things for you!

6. Detach yourself from you pay check. Your salary is not as important as the quality of work you do. If you don’t think like this, then you are many steps away from being an excellent employee. If you make pay less important, and give it your best, you will be rewarded. If you have accepted a job offer, you have accepted you salary, leave it there.

7. Don’t complain about what's wrong. Instead, start being vocal about what's right! A positive attitude goes a long way with many bosses. When you go to your supervisor with a problem, go with at least one suggestion in mind for a solution. Even if he/she doesn't take your suggestion, you will look like a problem-solver, not a whiner.

8. Don't spend a lot of time on your cell phone. Also, do not accept calls from the front desk unless it is an emergency. If your calls are put through by a secretary, rest assured that she/he will not hesitate to tell others that you get personal calls "all the time."

9. Dress as neatly as your supervisor. Close-toe shoes, full-length slacks, and shirts that don't show cleavage or chest hair are your best bet. When in doubt, don't wear it.

10. Hold your head high and display an attitude of confidence. A calm, self-assured energy will make you stand out from the crowd.

11. Learn to take constructive criticism. It will provide you with valuable ideas about what others expect from you, any weak areas, and what you need to work on first. If your supervisor confronts you in a way that angers you, wait until you calm down, and then ask him/her if the two of you can talk. Tell the supervisor how you felt, but say that you would like to fix the issue and want him/her to talk with you about what needs to be changed.

12. Offer any new co-workers guidance and support. Show them the ropes or offer training tips. Remember how it felt to be the new kid on the block. If you are not sure someone understood something, be willing to ask if he/she needs assistance.

13. Pick your feet up, walk proudly and briskly, and get right to your work. Don't let things drag up to the deadline, and then jump in to get it done quickly at the last minute. It drives your supervisor and co-workers nuts. Gain a reputation for having your act together more so than your co-workers.

14. Stay late, even if it is only 5 minutes. Co-workers notice who runs for the door right at 5:00 pm. One of the best uses of this time is to organize your work space for tomorrow. Take a moment to put away loose papers, empty coffee cups, wipe down surfaces, and locate things you'll need.

15. Take advantage of opportunities to learn new skills, receive training for a different activity, or take a study course paid for by your boss. Cross-training, new skill sets, and further education show that you are intelligent and value life-long learning. If times get tough and some employees are let go, you stand a better chance of keeping your job than those who can only do one thing.

16. Volunteer for projects, and don't worry about who gets credit. Volunteering allows you to choose the part you will play. And if you don't choose, chances are it will be chosen for you. Either way, you'll be responsible for some aspect of the project, so be one of the first to step forward.

17. Whether it's menial and tedious, or tough and high-paying, learn how to do the job well regardless of how difficult you think it might be. Hold yourself to a high standard. Salary is most commonly based on years of experience, your ability to do your job, length of time with the company, and your educational background. If you don't know how to do something, go find out, even if this means learning on your own time.

18. You want to establish a good rapport with your fellow employees (a little chit chat is inevitable – and even desirable), but spending an hour amusing your peers with your previous evening's adventures will not make your supervisor real happy. When one of you is talking a lot, two of you are not working a lot. If your supervisor walks by and two of you are talking, no problem, but wrap up the conversation so that he won't see the same sight on his/her way back. The same goes for a group. If you are part of a group who is talking when the supervisor walks by, discreetly excuse yourself and return to work.

19. Your co-workers know the difference between a person who is fun to work with and a person who is always goofing-off. Fun means a good personality, a joke or two, and a smile. Goofing-off is (a) wasting both your time and your co-workers, (b) being frequently off-task, and (c) often being seen standing in the work station of others instead of in your own.

20. Your supervisor’s opinion is always right to him/her. So if you find something wrong, try to show your supervisor tactfully and without arguing. Use a diplomatic way to show the problem point.

21. Relax and recover. Use your spare time wisely. Work is important, but work to live, do not live to work. Find activities that give you energy. For example:
  • enjoy your friends and family
  • find a hobby you like or focus on your family
  • get enough sleep
  • kiss your spouse
  • read something that inspires you
  • surprise someone with a gift
  • take a walk outside

The employees who keep a business or company going are called the worker bees. It's not easy to become an exemplary worker bee. If it were, every one would be a great employee. But you will never regret making the effort to be the best, because there are exemplary rewards for exemplary effort.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Relationship Tips for Male Aspies

No matter how macho you are or how lovey-dovey your NT wife or girlfriend can get, there's always more room for sensitivity and affection. So don't be too shy to break out the emergency “nice-guy kit” every now and then, and get to work.
 
CLICK HERE for the full article...


Dealing with the Workplace Bully: Tips for Aspergers Employees

Bullying is something we all hope not to have to deal with much beyond the 6th grade. Unfortunately, workplace bullies are a problem many people face. Unlike playground bullies who often resort to using their fists, workplace bullies generally use words and actions to intimidate their targets.

If you would like to try to deal with this situation before you are so demoralized that you contemplate bringing a gun to work, here are some tips:

1. Understand that all bullies first test the waters by saying or doing something provocative and then very carefully gauge your reaction.  Responding with hesitancy shows the bully you will make an ideal victim. When you respond confidently, a bully is far more likely to categorize you as someone who would make a lousy victim.

2. Build yourself a support network. Bullies separate and isolate their victims, sometimes going as far as to cause division within the victim's family. The bully may be manipulating your work colleagues into distancing themselves from you, either by sweet-talking them with charm, or by playing on their vulnerabilities.

3. Carry a notepad and pen with you and record everything that the bully says and does. Also make a note of every interaction with personnel, management, and anyone else connected with the bullying. Beware that you may be accused of "misconduct" and "unprofessional behavior" and a few other things when you do this.

4. Consider leaving. Regard it as a positive decision in the face of overwhelming odds which are not of your choosing, not of your making, and over which you have no control. In some cases, walking away is the best thing to do, for in doing so, you regain control. If you are forced into leaving, make it clear to your employer “in writing” that this is due to bullying. Get professional advice before signing anything. Choose to move on and find an employer who truly values you and your skills and where your career can flourish.

5. Criticisms and allegations, which are supposedly about you or your performance, and which sometimes contain a grain (but only a grain) of truth, are not about you or your performance. Do not be fooled by that grain of truth into believing the criticisms and allegations have any validity – they don’t.

6. Do your best work. The bully's behavior will seem more justified if you aren't doing your best work, or if you do things like come to work late, take long lunches, turn in work late, etc.

7. Don't allow the bully to isolate you from your colleagues. Keep up your workplace friendships.

8. Don't blame yourself. Acknowledge that this is not about you – it's about the bully. Don't lose your confidence, or think you are incapable or incompetent. Bullies are usually beating you at a mind game, not based on your actual work performance.

9. Don't expect to change the bully. Real behavior change is difficult and it takes time. You have no control over a bully's willingness to accept that they have a problem and to work on it. You can do your best to manage the situation, but it's really the company's responsibility to be observant and responsive to the needs of their workers and the general work environment.

10. Don't get emotional. Bullies take pleasure in emotionally manipulating people. Stay calm and rational to diffuse the situation.

11. Educate yourself. Learn everything you can about bullying, your company's policies on inappropriate behavior, and occupational law regarding this kind of experience. The more you know, the better your chances of successfully dealing with this situation.

12. Evaluate the situation. It's important to trust your instincts in situations like this. If you feel bullied, you probably are a victim. But look closely at what is happening around the person in question. Is everyone afraid of them? Do they have a reputation for this sort of thing? Are you not the only one experiencing this?

13. Follow the grievance procedure, but beware that such procedures may be biased in favor of management, as well as possibly being ill-prepared for dealing with bullying on any significant level.

14. Get counseling. It will help you deal with the stress, especially if the bullying is already affecting your physical and mental health. You have to take care of yourself. Maintain a healthy and balanced lifestyle outside of work to help you cope with the madness at work. Work out, get a good night's sleep, and eat a healthy diet.

15. If you are being physically threatened, don't waste a minute before you report it to both your employer and the police.

16. In some cases, depending on the damage done, you may want to get an attorney and file a law suit.

17. Make sure your superiors are aware of your work. Workplace bullies often try to spread the word that you are not doing your job well and will even go as far as to report the smallest infractions to your boss. Your actions will carry more weight than his/her words.

18. Seek the advice of a trusted mentor who may have dealt with this situation before.

19. Stand up to the bully. Depending on the gravity of the situation, tell the bully that the way he/she is choosing to handle the situation “doesn't sit right with you.” If the bully doesn’t understand (which he/she may not due to his/her nature), then you may want to forget constantly confronting the bully and go straight to the manager. If the manager is the bully’s best friend, go even further up the ladder until someone tells that jerk to knock it off! If everyone in that place is corrupt, then consider going to the police!

20. Understand that the bully’s objective is to have a good time at your expense. One strategy to consider is to simply ignore the bully. “No reaction” on your part equates to “no fun” on his/her part.

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