Are you an adult with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's? Are you in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum? Are you struggling emotionally, socially, spiritually or otherwise? Then you've come to the right place. We are here to help you in any way we can. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile...

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Having a Positive Attitude with ASD


"I am 25 years old and have recently found out I have aspergers syndrome (or ASD), although obviously I have felt different all my life. I was bullied incredibly badly at school, and there were times when I had to leave for a month or so. Besides the bullying, I had a very difficult upbringing with an alcoholic father who passed away when I was 19. Despite this, I have a good job as a teacher and have dreams and aspirations of becoming a psychologist. Aspies find life difficult, overwhelming and stressful, and my struggle with all the symptoms is daily, but that doesn't mean we can't live a long, happy, successful and fulfilling life, which I 100% plan to do."




A positive attitude is very refreshing. I wish more people on the autism spectrum had a positive outlook on life. And there's no good reason they shouldn't due to the fact that there are significantly more "positives" associated with Asperger's than negatives.

Here are just a few examples:

1. They possess unique global insights. Their ability to find novel connections among multidisciplinary facts and ideas allows them to create new and coherent insight that "neurotypicals" probably would not have reached without them.

2. They have the ability to make logical decisions. Their skill at making rational decisions and sticking to their course of action without being swayed by impulse or emotional reactions allows them to navigate successfully through difficult circumstances without being pulled off course.

3. They possess an internal motivation rather than being swayed by social convention, other people's opinions, or social pressure. They can hold firm to their own purpose. And their unique ideas can flourish, despite the critics.
 

4. They are independent thinkers. Their willingness to consider unpopular or unusual possibilities generates new options and opportunities and can lead the way for others.

5. They can be highly focused. Their ability to concentrate on one objective over long periods of time without becoming distracted allows them to accomplish difficult tasks.

6. They have the ability to cut through the bullshit. Their ability to recognize and speak the truth that is being "conveniently" ignored by other people is crucial to the success of a project or endeavor.

7. They pay close attention to detail. Their ability to remember and process minute details without getting side-tracked or weighed down gives them a distinct advantage when solving complicated problems.

8. They tend to be 3-dimensional thinkers. Their ability to utilize 3-dimensional visioning gives them a unique perspective when creating solutions.

And this just scratches the surface. In addition to the positives listed above, people on the autism spectrum also have these attributes:
  • an ability to focus on tasks for a long period of time without needing supervision
  • are not tied to social expectations
  • excellent rote memory 
  • have terrific memories
  • higher fluid intelligence (i.e., the ability to find meaning in confusion and to draw inferences and understand the relationships of various concepts, independent of acquired knowledge) 
  • higher than average IQ in many cases
  • highly gifted in one or more areas (e.g., math, music, engineering)
  • less materialistic than the general population
  • passionate about their special interests
  • play fewer head games than most people
  • rarely judge others
  • tend to live in the moment
  • are very honest and loyal

People with ASD are unique individuals who carry a host of skills and attributes that have the potential to become powerful tools to self-empowerment. As with everyone of us, what they focus on will become their reality. 
 
So, if they focus on fixing their deficits, more deficits seem to show up in their life. If, on the other hand, they focus on their special skills, more of these skills begin to appear. This is why a positive attitude is so very important. A positive attitude literally drives your destiny!

Is it Sadness or Full-Blown Depression: Tips for Adults on the Spectrum

“How do I know if I'm merely sad, or if it’s full blown depression? Do any of you Aspies suffer from chronic depression – I mean each day pretty much all day long? What do you do to overcome it – or just to live with it?”

There is a clear difference between sadness and depression. Sadness is a temporary emotion that you overcome after a relatively short period of time (may take several hours or sometimes a few days), and you regain your normal mood at some point. But, depression lingers for weeks, months – and even years. It becomes a part of you and affects your day-to-day functioning.

You’ll know you’re depressed when you lack motivation, sleep constantly (or want to), rarely eat (or eat all the time), feel excessively lazy, and become extremely negative towards yourself. Also, you may find yourself crying, having thoughts of suicide, feeling lonely even when you’re surrounded by people, and feeling a general sense of “numbness.”

Depression is very common among people with Asperger’s (high-Functioning autism). Many of the same deficits that produce anxiety unite to produce depression. The relationship between serotonin functioning and depression has been researched heavily. Basic circuitry related to frontal lobe functions in depression is affected in people on the spectrum. Also, deficits in social relationships and responses that permit one to compensate for disappointment and frustration fuel a vulnerability to depression.



Due to the fact that some features of depression and Asperger’s overlap, it is important to track that the changes in mood are a departure from baseline functioning. Therefore, the presence of social withdrawal in an individual with Asperger’s should not be considered a symptom of depression unless there is an acute decline from his or her baseline level of functioning.

The core symptoms of depression occur together. Therefore, the simultaneous appearance of certain symptoms (e.g., decreased energy, further withdrawal from social interactions, irritability, loss of pleasure in activities, self-deprecating statements, and sleep/appetite changes would point to depression.

Medications that are useful for treatment of depression are serotonin reuptake inhibitors. There also may be indications for considering tricyclic drugs with appropriate monitoring of ECG, pulse, and blood pressure. There are no drugs that have been shown to be particularly more beneficial for depressive symptoms in people with autism spectrum disorder as compared to the general population. Therefore, the decision as to which drugs to use is determined by side effect profiles, previous experience, and responses to these medications in other family members.

Numerous self-help strategies to cope with depression can be helpful as well.  

CLICK HERE for more information on self-help methods for depression.   

Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism  

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

ASD and that Damn Anxiety Problem

"Why is it that people with autism spectrum disorder seem to have more than their fair share of anxiety? I have suffered with this damn thing my entire life – as far back as I can remember. And it doesn’t get any better with age by the way. Suggestions!?"

People with ASD (high-functioning autism) are particularly vulnerable to anxiety. This vulnerability is a basic trait of the disorder due to (a) the breakdown in circuitry related to extinguishing fear responses, (b) social skills deficits, and (c) specific neurotransmitter system defects.

Reasons for anxiety include the following:
  • Lack of displayed empathy (another Asperger’s trait) significantly limits skills for self-directed social problem solving.
  • Limitations in generalizing from one situation to another contributes to repeating the same social errors.
  • Social skills deficits related to Asperger’s make it difficult for “Aspies” to develop coping techniques for calming themselves and containing difficult emotions. 
  • Their inability to grasp social cues and their highly rigid style act together to create repeated social mistakes (e.g., saying the wrong thing at the wrong time). 
  • In the workplace, it is not uncommon for the Aspie to be bullied and teased by his coworkers, yet he can’t mount effective socially adaptive responses, which often results in both anxiety and learned helplessness.



Several medications have been tried for treatment of anxiety. SRIs, buspirone, and alpha-adrenergic agonist medications (e.g., clonidine or guanfacine) have been tried. The best evidence to date supports use of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. One relatively new drug that seems to be having remarkable success in alleviating anxiety is Fetzima.

As a side note, people on the autism spectrum may be more vulnerable to side effects – and may exhibit unusual side effects. For example, disinhibition (i.e., a temporary loss of inhibition) is particularly prominent and can be seen with any of the serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Also, excessive doses may produce “amotivational syndrome” (i.e., a psychological condition associated with diminished inspiration to participate in social situations and activities).

Self-help strategies to reduce anxiety include the following:
  • avoid “what if” thinking (e.g., ‘What if I fail?’ … ‘What if I get sick?’)
  • avoid black-and-white (all-or-nothing) thinking 
  • avoid talking in absolutes (i.e., using words such as always, never, should, must, no one and everyone)
  • develop a daily log to plan out your days (include healthy activities)
  • develop a sense of self-trust (i.e., the ability to believe that you can handle what life throws at you)
  • don’t be a “people-pleaser” (e.g., when do you say ‘yes’ to someone when you really want to say ‘no’)
  • practice yoga
  • realize and accept that you can’t control life, you can only control yourself
  • realize that you’re responsible for your happiness and your life
  • reduce your perfectionistic tendencies
  • stop relying on others for approval

Lastly, but most importantly, distinguish fact from fiction. Fear is being afraid of something, and you know exactly what it is that you’re afraid of (e.g., heights). Anxiety is being afraid of something, but you’re NOT sure what it is. Anxiety is fiction. It’s an anticipation of things going wrong in the future. But since the future doesn’t exist (except as a mental construct), then anxiety about a future event is fiction.
 
 

Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism  

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder


 
COMMENTS:

Anonymous said… All part of autism? Get used to it and fight it best you can! This is where the tiredness and long sleeps are relevant!
Anonymous said… as long as autistics are perceived and treated as diseased toys, they`re going to have a much higher rate of mental health issues. as long as autistics try to live like people who aren`t autistic, they`re going to have a higher rate of mental health issues. it`s really pretty simple. the solutions are more complex, however.
Anonymous said… Easier said than done. The adult Asperger want to achieve some balance and sometimes accumulative PTSD feeds into the situation, too, with triggers that appear out of left field. Overwhelming.
Anonymous said… I can only speak for myself, but my anxiety is "out there" so fast, I can never "control" it; it's too dam quick, damage done, and I'm already in wtf-mode before realizing I'm palpitating and acting like an idiot. Which makes me more anxious! I don't know how to forewarn myself to try to stop it; it just happens
Anonymous said… I love how when I went to a doctor all they wanted to do was treat the anxiety and when I asked "what about the other symptoms like innattention and sensory issues and social issues" they just ignored even trying to get me a diagnoses suggesting that anti anxiety meds would be "the cure" instead of what it really did - make me suicidal
Anonymous said… It is a hard question to answer,, but the best thing is to try and find an outlet.. to not let the anxiety spiral and take hold.
Anonymous said… Ive warned all of people around me to get away when i get angry because i really cant stop my rage 
Anonymous said… Meditation helps
Anonymous said… right it's like a nightmare coming true times 100.
Anonymous said… Why do we have anxiety? Because from birth we have been being told we aren't normal. Don't do that, dont say that, look here, go there, sound like this, look like that. When you have to think about everything just to comprehend what's going on around you, and then add in being the best actor/actress everyone has seen, because otherwise you make them uncomfortable, go figure we have anxiety!
•    Anonymous said… as long as autistics are perceived and treated as diseased toys, they`re going to have a much higher rate of mental health issues. as long as autistics try to live like people who aren`t autistic, they`re going to have a higher rate of mental health issues. it`s really pretty simple. the solutions are more complex, however.
•    Anonymous said… Have any of y'all tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? I'm looking into it for my 22 years old son. His meltdowns are so violent and I'm terrified he's going to end up in jail one day. Any thoughts?
•    Anonymous said… it might help, if the therapist is experienced and knowledgeable enough about autistics. but his meltdowns at this point are probably ptsd. that`s very hard to recover from. i have a similar issue myself. what he needs to learn are appropriate personal and social boundaries for himself, and how to live like an autistic. cbt might help with boundaries. it won`t help much with living like an autistic.
•    Anonymous said… My anxiety is off the hook! My doc put me on some med that I will need to purge off of but it isn't helping me stop biting my nails and having bad dreams...is anyone here having the same symptoms?
•    Anonymous said… The push for uniformity of human beings in our world is most disturbing. The simple frustration of growing up with people always trying to change your fundamental personality and the stress of trying to fit in ... and failing ...

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