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Building a Healthy Self-Esteem: Tips for Adults with Asperger's

To feel good about your life and the way it evolved, you need to change two basic things: (1) how you see yourself, and (2) your personal responsibility over your life. If you don’t take responsibility for your actions, and if you don’t fight to make your wishes come true, then you are bound to believe that you have no control over your life and your achievements, that you are at the mercy of fate, and that you will never be happy!

So you are doomed - doomed to live a life which you don’t appreciate, you don’t respect, don’t feel proud about it, and of course ... you don’t want!

How can you feel good about your life and your achievements? How can you improve your confidence and self-esteem? How can you see yourself with other eyes and take responsibility for your life?

Starting from this moment, you can follow these strategies that, although simple, can have tremendous impact on your psychology and the evolution of your life:

1. Nothing is more valuable to your life than when you can accept your weaknesses and improve your strengths. You are not the only one in the world who has difficulties and problems! We all have. Rather than grumble about your weaknesses you need to reconcile with them, face them and you win the first battle against them! The refusal and arrogance never helped anyone. You need to see yourself objectively.

2. Building confidence is a process that needs a lot of effort, courage and patience. Confidence is defined as the absolute faith in yourself and your abilities. Confidence includes self-esteem and dignity and the belief that you are able to carry out and meet any challenge or dilemma in your life. Self-confidence is the way you talk to yourself.

3. The people you love, your pets, your flowers, your friends and what makes you feel beautiful in life is precious. Make sure that you love and protect and fill your life with more love. A life full of love is of great value.

4. You never know enough. No information is useless. You should learn as much as you can, and never think that you know everything. The only thing certain is that if you spend all your life reading, you will still have little awareness in front of the infinite knowledge that exists around you. So, you should not be dogmatic, don’t reject other ideas, and don’t always think you are right. There is no surer way to screw-up your life!

5. If you are constantly thinking of the future and you always wait for something to happen, you lose the moment, which you may already have all these things that you are waiting for ...and simply you don’t see them! Live in the moment. Be creative now. Try something new now. Don’t leave for the future what you can do now.

6. Even if your life is not as you want, don’t be discouraged. Fight for the life you want. There are always opportunities for you. There are always alternatives and other routes that can lead you right where you want to reach. Don’t compromise using expressions like this: “Life is a bitch – and then you die.” This is defeatism. You can do everything!

7. If something goes wrong in your life, then ask yourself who is to blame, what you are doing wrong, what you can change, how can you learn more information to get a better picture, etc. Don’t take anything for granted, and above all, don’t take your life for granted! Question your behavior, the methods you have learned to use, the way you think and operate – even question your values. Review your behavior and don’t sit back and hide behind the security of the current situation. The current situation is not necessarily the right thing for you. There are thousands of individuals who feel so much security in the current situation who don’t dare get out of this comfort zone! Don’t be one of them. You need to have courage to learn the truth and acknowledge your mistakes. You need courage to accept the imperfections and win the life that you would like!

8. The past can’t change, and in any case, the past does not specify your future. Don’t be discouraged by the past. Use today to make one more step closer to your happiness.

9. Confidence and high self-esteem is really valuable for those who have managed to acquire it. These individuals feel beautiful and they show it. They are effective and productive. They don’t have insecurities, and they operate knowing that they are capable of being loved and respected. They don’t try to improve their self-esteem by reducing other people around them or humiliating them.

10. Psychologists often indicate that almost all sectors of our lives - our happiness, our success, our relations with others, creativity, sexual life - is based on our level of confidence and self esteem. The more confidence we have, the more we achieve our objectives.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

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