Are you an adult with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's? Are you in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum? Are you struggling emotionally, socially, spiritually or otherwise? Then you've come to the right place. We are here to help you in any way we can. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile...
Search This Blog
Sexual Issues: 12 Tips for Aspergers Husbands
Even couples who love each other can be incompatible sexually. Compounding these problems is the fact that Aspergers men (and some women) are lacking in both sex education and sexual self-awareness. Yet, having sex is one of the last things the Aspie should be giving up. Sex brings couples closer together, releases hormones that helps their bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a healthy relationship intact.
How to fix sexual problems with your neurotypical spouse:
1. First of all, if your sexual relationship problems can't be resolved by using the suggestions below, consult a qualified sex therapist that can help you both address and resolve this issue.
2. Flirt with her. Make a habit of sending playful, sexy messages to her throughout the day.
3. Give her some space. It seems counter-intuitive, but letting your wife have some time to herself can help her recharge. Offer to watch the children for a few hours so she can relax in a bubble bath. This "time out" lets her wind down so that later she’ll be ready to heat up.
4. Just kiss. Agree to place a ban on sex for a certain length of time and just kiss and focus on foreplay. Abstaining from sex has the added benefit of charging up your sex-drive.
5. Learn what truly turns your wife on by asking her to come up with a personal "arousal list." You create a list as well. What do each of you truly find sexually exciting? The answers may delight you. Swap the lists and use them to create more “bedroom events” that turn you both on.
6. Make an appointment – but not necessarily at night when the both of you are tired (e.g., during your toddler’s Sunday afternoon nap, a "before-breakfast” quickie, or ask your parents to take your children every other Saturday night for a sleepover). When a sexual encounter is on the calendar, it increases the anticipation.
7. Mixing things up a bit can increase sexual enjoyment. Why not have sex by the fire place? Standing up in the hallway? In the kitchen?
8. Play an adult board game.
9. Set the mood. Don't underestimate the power of lighting a few candles. Make sure your bedroom is sexy and doesn't have toys littering it – and turn off the T.V.
10. Talk and Listen. Spending 15 minutes connecting with your wife and listening to her talk can help her feel appreciated. Avoid stressful topics like the children and work, and stick to larger issues like current events and the world around you. Respond with full sentences, not grunts. If you can remember and repeat something she said 8 hours later, she’ll be impressed—and you’ll be one step closer to intimacy.
11. Try just hugging or kissing her. Hold and squeeze her hand. Unload the dishwasher yourself. Women want to feel connected to their husbands in ways that don’t always involve sex.
12. Watch an erotic film together. It doesn't have to be porn for it to be sexy.
Resources for ASD-NT Couples
“I am married to a man with Aspergers. I must say this has been the biggest challenge in my entire life. Although I do love my husband dea...
"Can an adult with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism have a meltdown just like a child with the same disorder?" Click here ...
A lot of men with Asperger’s (AS) – also called “high functioning autism” – have never been diagnosed and are regarded as being eccent...
You have a love Asperger's, and you don't understand him or her, so it's making you crazy? It doesn't have to be that wa...
Men with Aspergers have many traits that can be attractive to a prospective partner. Click here for the full article... ==> Liv...
People with ASD [High Functioning Autism] often face challenges related to their ability to interpret certain social cues and skills. ...
Many, if not most, females with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism “slip through the net” (i.e., go undiagnosed) because they camoufl...
Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to do what you need to feel better. But while overcoming bouts of de...
Mark Hutten, M.A. - Counseling Psychologist Are you experiencing relationship difficulties with your partner or spouse who is on...
Too often, the microscope is focused on all that is wrong with adults who have an Autism Spectrum Disorder [ASD]. Yet, these grown-ups a...