Are you an adult with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's? Are you in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum? Are you struggling emotionally, socially, spiritually or otherwise? Then you've come to the right place. We are here to help you in any way we can. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile...

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35 Ways to Improve Your Mood: Tips for Asperger’s Adults

The way we think and react to a situation determines how much happiness and success we will find in our lives. For example, the pessimistic person who is watching his business go bankrupt due to the current economic slump will view his dilemma as “the end of the world.” Conversely, for the optimistic person, the same scenario would be “an opportunity to start something new and different” in accordance to his or her choice.

Attitudes are organized collections of thoughts about a particular issue. To be optimistic, you need to eliminate certain pessimistic thinking patterns. These include the four major types of negative thinking:
  • Polarizing: a type of black-and-white thinking that defines failure as any result short of perfection.
  • Personalizing: automatically blaming yourself every time something bad happens.
  • Filtering: psychologically screening out the encouraging aspects of complex scenarios.
  • Catastrophizing: expecting the worst possible outcome in any situation.

How adults with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism can improve their mood significantly:
1. Be patient with yourself as you begin the journey of moving from pessimism to optimism. It takes some time to accomplish this shift. There’s no hurry.

2. Beware of the fact that pessimistic people attract other pessimists. Those who live in a world of “doom and gloom” alienate others, thus they have no choice but to look for other pessimistic people to associate with. They then feed off one another and get locked in a clique of cynics.

3. Call a friend. Pick up the phone and call someone. Don't email …its much less personal. You'll have a laugh and the endorphins will start flowing again.

4. Do some deep breathing. Close your eyes and take slow breaths in through your nose as deeply as you can. Hold for a few seconds. Release slowly through your mouth. Repeat 5 times.

5. Donate money to a worthy cause. There are so many worthwhile organizations to which you can donate money to. Pick a cause that has a personal connection, make an easy annual limit that is within your budget, and then pledge to make that donation. Most of these are tax-deductible.

6. Employing positive self-talk will improve your outlook. When your state of mind is generally positive, you're able to handle everyday stress in a more constructive way. That ability may contribute to the widely observed health benefits of optimistic thinking. Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a destructive thought enters your head, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you.

7. Exercise at least three times a week to positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind, body and soul.

8. Failure to do what you want to do and what makes you happy causes physical and mental stress. So, the lesson is simple: Do what makes you happy (as long as it isn’t harmful to you or others).

9. Find a cool hobby. Pull out your video camera, your oil paints, or your clay. Get creative again. Do you play guitar? Do you like to write? Scrapbook? Getting that creative spark going may be just the ticket to feeling optimistic again.

10. Find a quiet place and about 10 minutes all to yourself at the beginning or end of the day. Turn off your cell phone and avoid all interruptions. Just sit by yourself and listen to your breathing. Observe your thoughts (but try not to judge them during this quiet time).

11. Forgive yourself. Write down one thing you think you did "wrong" in the past, or one way in which you think you are falling short, and let it go – completely. If you aren't convinced that you should be forgiven for the alleged transgression, then pick an easier item for self-forgiveness.

12. Get lost in a good book. Go to the library or bookstore and drift into the experience (e.g., the hush, the shuffling feet, the soft sounds, etc.). Emerge hours later feeling a little lighter.

13. Get organized. Sometimes clutter can make one feel overwhelmed and mildly depressed. If you are at the office, use your lunch hour to tackle some of the piles and stuff crammed in your desk drawers. At home, tackle on one room or space at a time. Getting things in their proper place can ease a lot of your anxiety.

14. Get out in the sun. Go outside or stand beside a bright window and bask in the warming rays for a few minutes. Sunlight ups the level of vitamin D in your body, which in turn keeps serotonin high.

15. Give an honest, heart-felt compliment to someone deserving of it. 

16. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less anxious.

17. Have a good cry. If you have suffered a loss or are otherwise grieving, it may be helpful to let the tears flow. You may not immediately feel a great deal happier, but in the long term, the sadness will not be so bottled up. 

18. If you choose to allow certain events or circumstances in life to dictate your mood, you are giving away your personal power to whatever triggered your pessimistic attitude.

19. If you want to become more positive, first identify areas of your life that you typically think negatively about (e.g., work, your daily commute, a relationship, etc.).You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.

20. It’s always possible to change a pessimistic attitude, but it won’t be easy. If you lived your life seeing only dark colors, you can’t turn this around in a day. However, by taking small and consistent steps, you will gradually become a happier individual.

21. Know that positive thinking is not enough. If you can’t find the cause of your pessimistic attitude, you will only cover this attitude with positive words. So, find the cause of it, and this will allow you to change your pessimistic attitude. 

22. Learn to focus on the here and now, and do all you can to make the most of what you have.

23. Listen to your favorite upbeat song and you’ll be happier in seconds. Music has a powerful influence over state of mind. Music activates the part of your brain that’s hardwired for pleasure. 

24. Make sure the people in your life are positive, supportive individuals that you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Pessimistic people will increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in a healthy way.

25. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking about. If you find that your thoughts are mainly pessimistic, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.

26. Practicing optimism every day. If you tend to have a pessimistic outlook, don't expect to become an optimist overnight. But with practice, eventually your self-talk will contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You may also become less critical of the world around you. Plus, when you share your optimism, both you and those around you enjoy an emotional boost.

27. Say to you yourself that you are successful and you are having a great day. Repeat this 10 to 15 times to get the point across to your mind. You can convince your mind of anything if you say it over and over again.

28. Start a blog. A blog will give you an outlet for your feelings. And it may be even better for triggering happiness, because people can leave you positive comments.

29. Start a journal. It can be any kind of writing in which you relate your thoughts of the day. Sometimes just getting it out releases some of the negative energy. 

30. To loosen the grip of a pessimistic attitude, become aware of your complaining, stop it in its tracks, and immediately look for something positive to say. It’s just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one.

31. Try to understand what causes your pessimistic attitude. It might be that you live with a person who constantly ruins your mood, or it may have something to do with your past. Maybe something happened to you that made you deeply upset, and you have not totally recovered from that incident. Understand that the incident is long gone, and you should not live in the shadow of it. Your past can only have influence on your present if you let it. Remember, your true power is in the present moment.

32. Volunteer somewhere. You can find a couple hours a month to make a big difference in a few peoples' lives. Soup kitchens always need extra hands. Religious organizations love volunteers to help with many events throughout the year. What about the local Humane Society? Local communities also have events that can use both volunteers. Check the local Chamber of Commerce website.

33. When you first awake in the morning, sit up in bed, take a big stretch, put a smile on my face, and then assert, “Today I am going to have a great day.”

34. Write to a family member. Choose someone with whom you haven't corresponded in a while and tell them how much you appreciate their being a part of your life, or tell them a joke – whatever cheers you up.

35. You’re not at the mercy of different kinds of pessimistic feelings that visit you when you least expect. You can control how you feel.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Asperger's Adults and Personal Hygiene

Have you ever been accused of not taking care of your personal hygiene? If so, then this article is for you!

When meeting anyone for the first time, the first impression you make is the most important. The way you look in terms of style and hygiene are the biggest factors with an initial impression. Although it may seem shallow to concentrate on personal appearance only, it is one of the most important parts of making a good impression.

The following tips will help you to put your best body forward every day:

1. Drink a lot of water throughout the day. 75% of Americans are actually dehydrated on a regular basis. Get into the habit of drinking more water. It's important to be hydrated in order to get clearer glowing skin, healthier hair, and also to feel healthier.

2. Get rid of “extra” hair. For ladies, check your upper lips, side burns and armpits. For both men and women, keep your eyebrows, nose-hair, and ear-hair in check. Take a look around for stray hair on or around moles, and check the back of your neck and upper back for stray hairs. Proper hair grooming should be practiced on the entire body. Trimming (or shaving) any long hairs that are below the neck is a good idea.

3. Brush your teeth, floss, and get dental checkups. A clean mouth and clean teeth give you a nice smile and fresh breath, both of which are major positives for personal appearance.

4. Don’t use antibacterial soap. Antibacterial soap might kill off some of the bacteria on your skin, and that’s bad for two reasons: (1) it lowers your own resistance to a variety of bacteria, making you more susceptible to bacteria-borne illness; (2) if a soap kills off 99.9% of bacteria, the 0.1% that’s left is going to be resistant to that soap and will thrive.

5. Dress a bit better than others. Observe what the standard dress code is in your workplace, then strive to dress just a slight notch better than that. Not enough so that you stick out, but enough so that you look very crisp and fresh compared to the rest of the crowd. Wear things that compliment your body shape. If you aren't sure how to, find a shopping buddy. Ask a friend for advice and tips, or get them to go shopping with you. Pick someone who looks great in their clothes (preferably someone of similar body type as you).

6. Take care of your feet, as they take a lot of wear and tear. One way to do this is with the use a pumice stone in the shower to scrub off all dead skin. Once you have done this, apply a thick lotion or body butter and rub it all over your feet.

7. Even if your skin is not excessively dry, applying a lightly fragranced body lotion daily will keep it supple, and it will also smell nice. If your skin is dry, lotion is more of a necessity to prevent it from becoming itchy and uncomfortable. Applying body lotion will also smooth out any dry patches, and it will give your skin a sheen and youthful glow.

8. Exercise at least 3-5 times a week. A simple work-out would be to walk, jog or run for at least 10 minutes or longer. Try doing sit-ups, crunches, side crunches and push-ups too. This will work-out the main attractive features on your body.

9. For the ladies, if you have blotchy skin, zits or under-eye circles, wear a little concealer or foundation. If you want to add some color to your look, wear a lip gloss or colored eyeliner. Be careful not to over-do it though.

10. Get dental or orthodontic work as needed. Having your teeth fixed is a wonderful investment. Many health care plans will cover dental corrections, so if you have any issues with your teeth, mention them to your dentist or seek out an orthodontist. Most dental corrections are simple and very cost effective investments for improving your personal appearance, so seek them out.

11. Have good posture. Great posture makes you look confident and taller. Try not to lean to one side. Keep your back straight when sitting. It may be hard at first, but you'll get used to it.

12. Keep your hair clean, combed and trimmed. Clean hair, even if it’s a bit disheveled or not cut perfectly, does wonders for a person’s appearance.

13. Make certain that your hands and fingernails are well groomed. Hands are actually one of the most visible parts of yourself because you use them often. This doesn't mean that you have to actually paint them or pay for expensive manicures. Just keep your hands and cuticles moisturized. File the fingernails into a nice shape and remove any hangnails.

14. Minimize body artwork. If you choose to have body art, be aware that for many people, such art is in fact a social stigma. In some careers, body art is inconsequential or even encouraged, but this is far from true for most jobs. Just be very careful of the long-term consequences if you are considering some form of permanent body art.

15. Clean those ears. One area of the body that can be easily overlooked, even when you bathe and wash daily, is your ears. As part of your regular grooming process, clean behind your ears with a washcloth and face cleanser, and also clean around the edges if necessary. Even if you look amazing, dirty ears will make it look as though you don't value personal hygiene.

16. Shave, or keep your beard trimmed.

17. Stretch every day, because being flexible will help your body, which will make you feel confident.

18. Take a bath or shower and clean thoroughly every day.

19. Tiredness is not attractive. Get about 7 to 8 hours sleep every night.

20. Use deodorant. A scentless odor-blocking deodorant, preferably one that does an effective job of absorbing moisture, can do wonders for both minimizing any potential body odor and for keeping any moisture from appearing on your clothing. Also, wear attractive perfume or body spray. 1 - 3 sprays is sufficient. If you have a strong expensive perfume, you may only need to spray once. Your perfume will last longer if you spray the back of your neck or your wrists. Don't spray your hair, because the oils may cause it to smell different.

In summary, keep yourself clean and presentable, dress well, and interact positively with others. It takes time, effort, and a bit of money to pull that off, but if you do, you’ll create an overall positive impression of yourself with everyone you interact with, and that positive impression is something very, very valuable to have.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Asperger’s Adults Who Don’t Leave the House

It’s a well-known fact that adults with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) tend to have more than their fair share of anxiety. And sometimes the anxiety is so severe that these individuals receive a diagnosis of anxiety disorder. Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder in which people avoid situations that they are afraid might cause them to panic. They might avoid being alone, leaving their home or any situation where they could feel trapped, embarrassed or helpless if they do panic.

Individuals with agoraphobia often have a hard time feeling safe in any public place, especially where crowds gather. The fears can be so overwhelming that they may be essentially trapped in your own home.

Agoraphobia treatment can be tough because it usually means confronting one’s fears. But with medications and psychotherapy, adults on the autism spectrum can escape the trap of agoraphobia and live a more enjoyable life.

Agoraphobia is a type of phobia. A phobia is the excessive fear of a specific object, circumstance or situation. Agoraphobia is excessive worry about having a panic attack in a public place. Commonly feared places and situations are airplanes, bridges, crowds, elevators, lines of people, public transportation, shopping malls, and sporting events.

Typical agoraphobia symptoms include:
  • A sense that one’s body is unreal
  • Fear of being alone in any situation
  • Fear of being in crowded places
  • Fear of being in places where it may be hard to leave (e.g., elevator, train)
  • Fear of losing control in a public place
  • Inability to leave the house for long periods (i.e., being housebound)
  • Over-dependence on others
  • Sense of helplessness

In addition, one may also have signs and symptoms similar to a panic attack, including:
  • Chest pain
  • Dizziness
  • Excessive sweating
  • Feeling a loss of control
  • Flushing
  • Feeling light-headed
  • Nausea
  • Rapid heart rate
  • Trouble breathing
  • Trouble swallowing
  • Upset stomach or diarrhea

Possible agoraphobia risk factors include:
  • Being female
  • Experiencing stressful life events (e.g., sexual abuse or physical abuse during childhood)
  • Having a tendency to be nervous or anxious
  • Having an alcohol or substance abuse disorder
  • Having panic disorder

Agoraphobia greatly limits a person’s daily activities. In severe cases, one may not even be able to leave the house. Without treatment, some individuals become housebound for years. They may not be able to visit with family and friends, go to school or work, walk their dog, run errands, or take part in other normal daily activities. They may become dependent on others for help (e.g., grocery shopping). Agoraphobia can also lead to depression and anxiety. And individuals with agoraphobia may turn to alcohol or substance abuse to help cope with the fear, guilt, hopelessness, isolation and loneliness.

Antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications are often used to treat agoraphobia and panic symptoms. Adults on the spectrum may have to try several different medications before they find one that works best for them. A doctor is likely to prescribe one of the following:
  • Anti-anxiety medication. Also called benzodiazepines, these drugs can help control symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks. However, these medications can cause dependence if taken in doses larger than prescribed or over a longer period of time than prescribed. The doctor will weigh this risk against the potential benefit of this class of drugs. Drugs in this category that are FDA-approved for the treatment of panic disorder with agoraphobia include alprazolam (Xanax) and clonazepam (Klonopin).
  • Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). Drugs in this category that are FDA-approved for the treatment of panic disorder with agoraphobia include paroxetine (Paxil, Paxil CR) and fluoxetine (Prozac, Prozac Weekly, Sarafem).
  • Other types of antidepressants, such as a tricyclic antidepressant or monoamine oxidase inhibitor. While these drugs may effectively treat agoraphobia, they're associated with more side effects than are SSRIs.

Several types of psychotherapy or counseling can help agoraphobia. One common therapy that's used is cognitive behavioral therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy has two parts:
  1. The cognitive part involves learning more about agoraphobia and panic attacks and how to control them. Individuals learn what factors may trigger a panic attack or panic-like symptoms and what makes them worse. They also learn how to cope with these symptoms (e.g., breathing exercises, relaxation techniques).
  2. The behavioral part of cognitive behavioral therapy involves changing unwanted or unhealthy behaviors through desensitization (sometimes called exposure therapy). This technique helps one safely face the places and situations that cause fear and anxiety. A therapist may join the client on outings to help her stay safe and comfortable (e.g., trips to the mall, driving a car). The more the person goes to feared places and realizes she is okay, the more her anxiety will lessen.

If one has trouble leaving the home, how can she possibly go to a therapist's office? Therapists who treat agoraphobia will be well aware of this problem. They may offer to see clients first in their home, or they may meet clients in one of their “safe zones.” They may also offer some sessions over the phone or through email. Asperger’s adults with agoraphobia should look for a therapist who can help them find alternatives to in-office appointments, at least in the early part of treatment.

Certain dietary and herbal supplements have calming and anti-anxiety benefits. Before one takes any of these for agoraphobia, she should talk with her health care professional. Although these supplements are available over-the-counter, they still pose possible health risks in some individuals (e.g., the herbal treatment called kava is marketed as a treatment for anxiety, but the supplement has been linked to multiple cases of severe liver damage).

Living with fear of panic attacks can make life difficult for anyone with agoraphobia, no matter how severe it is. Professional treatment of agoraphobia can help people overcome this disorder or manage it effectively so that they don't become a prisoner to their fears. Individuals can also take some steps on their own to cope and care for themselves when they have agoraphobia:
  1. Alcohol and illegal drugs can worsen panic or anxiety symptoms. Avoid these substances!
  2. If one takes medication or is already in therapy or counseling for panic disorder, she should continue to follow her treatment plan. If she develops any symptoms of agoraphobia, she should get treatment as soon as possible, which will help prevent symptoms from getting worse over time. 
  3. If one has experienced panic attacks or has panic disorder, she should get treatment as soon as possible. Because panic disorder and agoraphobia are closely related, getting treatment for panic disorder may prevent the development of agoraphobia. 
  4. Individuals with agoraphobia are overwhelmed with worry about losing control or having a panic attack. Working with a health care professional, people can learn how to calm and soothe themselves. They can practice these skills on their own, especially at the first hint of anxiety.
  5. Meditation, yoga and imagery are among the simple relaxation techniques that may help — and the person can do them in the comfort of her own home. It’s a good idea to practice these techniques when you aren't anxious or worried, and then put them into action during stressful situations.
  6. Consider joining a self-help or support group, where you can connect with others who understand what you're going through.
  7. Get enough rest, eat a balanced diet, and try to exercise every day.
  8. It may take a couple of weeks to start seeing benefits when you first start a medication, but stick it out. Also, don't stop a medication without first consulting your doctor, because some medications can cause withdrawal-like symptoms.
  9. It's hard to go to places or be in situations that make you uncomfortable or that bring on symptoms of anxiety. But practicing going to more places does make them less frightening and anxiety-provoking. Family, friends and your therapist can help you work on this. Anxiety tends to increase the more you avoid situations that you fear. If you start to have mild fears about going places that are safe, try to practice going to those places before your fear becomes overwhelming. If this is too hard to do on your own, ask a family member or friend to go with you.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples


•    Anonymous said… I rarely leave the house... I get angry when my husband points out that I never go out.. I go on defense, though I know he's right... I guess because I know it's an issue and I don't know how to battle it. I've been this way as long as I can remember and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to beat it.. There are a lot of times I think I should probably seek professional help, but that, in itself, is terrifying for me.
•    Anonymous said… I know it feels hard. Think if your husband didn't love you, he wouldn't push so hard. That being said, you have to feel ready to do it for yourself. What is the worst that could happen seeking professional help...maybe getting unstuck, and better? You may not know how to handle it, and that is where the pro's come in. If you call around a lot of places you can have a therapist visit your home.
•    Anonymous said… I just have a lot of trust issues.. I find it really really hard to open up.. especially verbally. I am not good at talking. My husband made a comment last night about how getting me to open up is like having to get through a difficult maze. He's not wrong. I've been to a therapist before.. and I've had a psychiatrist.. for a long time.. But years ago. I keep thinking I need to start going again.. But somehow, the longer I go, the harder it is to go get help.
•    Anonymous said… You are correct in this diagnosis of Aspies not wanting to leave the house when we don't want to but what is your point? Do you have a solution or formula that makes me want to go out somewhere and socialize? I go out when one of my kids wants to go shopping. I am not going out to hang at a bar or anything like that. I like being home alone. No, I don't have a husband and nor do I want one.
•    Anonymous said… My daughter and I have an understanding that we will go to the BJ's next weekend. Her husband comes over occasionally to get a plate of food when I cook and he's driving for Uber at night.
•    Anonymous said… I don't want to be among people when I don't have to be...oh, wait, maybe it's because I have Aspergers! lol

Post your comment below…

The Genetic Link Between Alcoholism and Autism

According to a 2011 study (found here), alcoholism in some individuals can be linked to a gene (called Autism Susceptibility Candidate 2, or AUTS2) that also causes autism.  The study gathered data from over 26,000 subjects from 12 European populations and tracked how much alcohol each individual consumed daily. The subjects' DNA was then examined for the AUTS2 gene.

The scientists also used mice to investigate whether those with the AUTS2 gene consumed more alcohol. A statistically significant association between alcohol consumption and AUTS2 gene expression was noted. The gene was found to be present in a higher-than-average number of alcoholic individuals, as well as mice.

Researchers estimate that approximately 40% of drinkers carry a genetic predisposition for alcoholism. This study is not the first to describe a high incidence of alcoholism in people with autism (another study can be found here), but the genetic evidence it revealed is new. Knowledge of genetic factors may improve treatment for those who wish to abstain from consuming alcohol.

Adults with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) may be more susceptible to alcoholism. Alcohol is often seen as an acceptable way to self-medicate unwanted conditions associated with autism spectrum disorder (ASD)  (e.g., attention problems, sensory issues, depression, anxiety, social difficulties, etc.). 
Moving from childhood into adulthood can be very challenging for people on the autism spectrum, and the usual pressure to drink can lead to alcoholism – especially since drinking can seem like a temporary “fix” or an “escape method” for coping with other problems. If a person with ASD has never been successfully diagnosed or treated, this can make addiction to alcohol (and other drugs, including marijuana) an even more likelihood.

What to do if your husband on the spectrum drinks too much:

Usually, excessive drinking only stops when the AS husband realizes that the costs of drinking exceed the benefits. A wife could wait until the costs are huge so that her husband can realize the problem more easily. But by that time, his thinking won’t be very clear, and he will have paid a substantial price – possibly to include problems that will endure the rest of his life. So, it’s better to help your husband stop drinking sooner rather than later. 
Here’s how:

1. Use yourself as the “reward” for not drinking. Many wives are reluctant to consider themselves as rewards. After all, shouldn’t your husband want to spend time with you without you having to manipulate him? Perhaps, but do you want to argue this philosophical point – or get him to change his drinking pattern? If he eventually spends time with you because he truly enjoys it – and enjoys it more than drinking – don’t worry about the fact that he needed to be guided initially.

2. Rather than persuading your AS husband that the costs of drinking exceed the benefits, you’ll do better by helping him discover that the benefits of non-alcohol related activities exceed the benefits of alcohol-related ones. The end result is the same. He will just be realizing (over time) that the costs of missing out on new (or renewed) sober activities exceed the benefits of drinking. So, help him discover (or recall) activities he truly enjoys that do not involve consuming alcohol, and then find ways to promote and support these activities (perhaps indirectly). Obviously, the more alcohol is a part of his life, the fewer non-alcohol-related activities he may have. But, unless all he does is drink ALL DAY, his life includes other activities.

3. If your husband likes your company socially, stay around only when he is sober (or drinking moderately). Take two cars to events if needed, and be clear about why you are doing it. If it’s just time with him at home, excuse yourself when he is drinking excessively – and make sure to give him lots of verbal and physical attention when he is not. You can even tell him what you are doing (e.g., “I love our time together, and I don’t want it ruined by your drinking too much. When you do, I’m going to excuse myself.”).

4. Create a “landing place” before you ask your ASD husband to “jump.” Many heavy drinkers are reluctant to quit drinking, because they have little sense of how they will spend their time without drinking. All that empty time may frighten them. By creating a landing place, you hope to build a transition (slowly at first) in which other activities come to replace drinking. However, before you try this strategy, you should observe your husband’s behavior for a while to see what activities he engages in that are not alcohol-related. Then you will need to figure out a way to support/promote these activities in a non-confrontational way.

5. Consider activities that your husband might engage in right after work before he starts drinking, or early on a weekend day before he starts drinking. You can probably find ways to do something fun as a family (not something he “should” enjoy, but something he actually enjoys) that would postpone - or even eliminate - his drinking on that day.

COMMENT: I am a recovering alcoholic and have been sober for over 22 years. I do not, as far as I am aware, have AS or HFA, but I would, as they say, tick quite a few boxes! I work with children on the autistic spectrum in a mainstream school and so I have a reasonable knowledge of the condition. My point is, that I have believed for some time, that there are a higher number of people with AS/HFA in the recovering alcoholic community, than there are in the general population, based on my observations among people like me, who attend a 12 step program.

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