Some men go through divorce, job loss, and years of anxiety and depression before they accept the possibility that there may be an underlying issue which explains why their life has taken the odd twists and turns it has. Then - and only then - will these "on the fence" individuals consider seeking a diagnosis. And even then, they may refuse treatment (e.g., counseling), assuming they can "wing it" on their own without any outside assistance.
The "autistic" can have several reactions to the diagnosis:
- He may react by minimizing it. In this case, he doesn't view ASD as something to be taken very seriously, and views himself as someone who simply "thinks differently."
- He may react by emphasizing the diagnosis. Now, his disorder defines him as a person and becomes an uncontrollable force that dominates his entire life. He may even come to believe that his spouse or girlfriend must become his caretaker since he has a "disability." Rather than recognizing the many "positives" associated with the disorder, he instead focuses on the worst aspects.
- He may respond positively, identifying the many constructive features of the disorder. Here, the individual embraces the diagnosis, is happy to finally find an explanation for the troubles he has endured, and attempts to take control of the challenges that arise along the way. Now that he has identified "the problem," he can work on his deficits AND capitalize on his strengths.
The most common reaction to the diagnosis for the "neurotypical" partner is relief, because she finally and gratefully understands that she is not to blame for the relationship problems that have occurred. Also, she now has an explanation (not an excuse) for why her partner has said and done so many "hurtful" things in the past. She is grateful that it's "just" ASD, because she had come to believe that she was insane.
Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:
==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD
==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives
==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples
==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism
==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives
Please explain more about the positive aspects of ASD 1. I am overwhelmed with the negatives right now.ReplyDelete
On day I was goggling trying to figure my boyfriend out and I stumbled unto Aspergers which now I know is referred to as ASD 1 that same day I read female Aspergers presents a bit differntly and is harder to detect and diagose. I being a nurse and a why person read the refered "Samantha Crafts unofficial female Autism list" I realized I was autistic too. Personally I see no benefit in a intimate relationship with a NT or ND. As with any relationship the other one can't be in denial plus the extra hurdles. It's alot of extra hoops to jump in and out of a relationship. I realize I have limits but also things I need to unharness to reach my full potential. My depression, anxiety, attention deficit and thoughts hold be back. I know I'm super creative, wity, smart yet dense on things, inventive, good at art, kind, giving and sometimes too much, frank and too blunt that I have to rein in and not to be hurtful. I know I have untapped potential and being with another Aspie who isn't inspiring me has caused me to become a recluse and box myself in. I need to be around people that inspire me. We are usually about what we can get from others. Don't necessarily need people but what they give us. I need to be more of a giver. I'm a retired nurse and it gave me that lol. Now retired and a hermit with a almost hermit boyfriend. How do I find what and who inspies me ?ReplyDelete