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Why Some NT Women Refuse to Date Men with Asperger’s
There's nothing wrong with getting rejected by a woman you have an eye out for. It happens all the time. But some guys with Asperger’s seem to have a lot of difficulty in this area (i.e., winning and keeping a girlfriend).
Here are the top 15 reasons NT women turn down Aspie men:
1. Due to a series of bad childhood experiences, many men with Asperger’s have very low self-esteem. As a result, their “relationship-building” confidence level is a 1 on a scale of 1 – 10, and the perceptive woman picks up on this.
2. Due to past social failures, some of these men have an attitude towards dating that is generally very negative. This attitude gets conveyed at an almost unconscious level - and is a turn-off.
3. Their approach throws the women off-guard (e.g., either came on too passively or too aggressively).
4. Their conversational skills, displays of empathy, and eye-contact are lacking (in her estimation).
5. Their looks don’t match the woman’s standards (e.g., too casual of clothing, disheveled hair, etc.).
6. They (falsely) pretend to not to be interested in sex.
7. They come off as either too independent or too needy.
8. Some Asperger’s men don’t put themselves out there enough – not by a longshot. In other words, they’re impatient because the whole process is taking too long, and therefore, do not give the “law of averages” enough time to work.
9. They have an attachment to being rejected. That is, they identify themselves with disappointment, disapproval, and rejection because it has happened so many times before (e.g., a self-fulling prophecy becomes manifest).
10. They present themselves as “too nice,” which comes off as fake and disingenuous.
11. They push for a “one-night stand.” This conveys that you are not really the committed type.
12. Some Aspie men think that all they have to do to win her over is to be a gentleman. Unfortunately, it takes MUCH MORE than that.
13. They try to be “friend.” She already has friends – she’s probably looking for a “lover.”
14. The Aspie tries to get the woman to like him before she is attracted to him.
15. Many of these men wait too long to “make a move.” So, she gets bored and bails out.
Here are some resources that may benefit the chronically rejected male Aspie:
Resources for ASD-NT Couples
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