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How to Get Your NT Wife to Divorce You: Tips for Husbands on the Autism Spectrum

Here are 15 very concrete ways that will drive your wife to filing for divorce quicker than a 95-year-old demented man can shit his pants:

1.    Recognize what’s NOT working – and keep doing more of the same.

2.    Remember the bad times and replay those memories often.

3.    Stop focusing on solutions to problems.

4.    Make her do all the chores around the house.

5.    When she wants to talk, face the other way and hold out your palm.

6.    Pressure your wife into having oral sex - on YOU - only!

7.    Gamble away the money set aside to pay the electric bill.

8.    Don’t take a shower or brush your teeth – EVER!

9.    Always announce when you have to poop (e.g., "Honey, it's gonna be a Big HONKER!!!").

10.    When you pee in the middle of the night, leave the toilet seat down – and aim for it (or the walls).

11.    If you do shower, leave your wet towel on her side of the bed.

12.    Sneeze straight ahead rather than covering your mouth and sneezing to the side.

13.    When she needs you to do some handyman work around the house, complete the task only halfway, then leave your tools where the “fixing” took place.

14.    Blow your nose on the cloth napkins while at the restaurant with her.

15.    When there isn't quite enough milk for a full bowl of cereal, but there is a second UNOPENED container, ignore the first and open the second.

Best of luck to all the manly men!

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