tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post6626198663700815814..comments2024-03-18T07:20:14.358-07:00Comments on Support & Education for Adults on the Autism Spectrum: Dealing With An Aspergers Husband: Tips For Married CouplesUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger163125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-14538124876332230002022-11-27T17:25:50.683-08:002022-11-27T17:25:50.683-08:00I have had several breakdowns in our 31-year marri...I have had several breakdowns in our 31-year marriage. I am in crisis right now, even though our boys are grown and gone. Of course, the worst breakdown was when our daughter killed herself at age 15. After he had verbally and physically hurt her (not sexually, I don't think). Now I wonder if his Asperger behavior was instrumental in her terrible decision to end her life. Please, please, take care of your children and yourselves. We love our Aspies, yet we also love ourselves and our kids. Do what's right in your situation. I am praying intensely for the well-being of all of us....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-51095232904689242232022-10-28T16:06:24.333-07:002022-10-28T16:06:24.333-07:00well, sometimes "their own values" are c...well, sometimes "their own values" are crapAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-73062930647531195042018-12-24T10:51:55.930-08:002018-12-24T10:51:55.930-08:00This is disgusting. While I admit that everything...This is disgusting. While I admit that everything you say about living in an AS relationship may be true. I feel like I've aged 10 years for every one and my depression and anxiety are through the roof since being in this relationship, your suggestion is offensive because it operates on the assumption that every person is wired for relationships in the same way. Specifically the idea that one should "get out early" because then one can still "Have a life" ie a new relationship which you then go on to suggest. Humans are not inter-changable machine parts. I can't just force myself to have a relationship with someone I'm not in love with, well I could try but that would be making myself a victim of sexual abuse which would be at least as bad as the emotional abuse I suffer in my current relationship. The day may come when I would choose life-lone celibacy over pushing forward with this but that day is not yet and I know that is my only other alternative. I may choose to give up on having a relationship at all just to get some peace and quite but that not the type of "having a life" you mean. Don't assume some of us aren't wired for (non-serial) monogamy. Oralynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10525894516663746671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-83945528294232098612018-12-24T10:42:45.096-08:002018-12-24T10:42:45.096-08:00You cannot say whether someone is worth it or not ...You cannot say whether someone is worth it or not if they are a total stranger and you know absolutely nothing about them beyond a short post in a forum...unless you feel that caring for their AS spouse alone makes them worth it, which is a valid view But seriously, how dare you tell another person what values they should hold or what they should be striving for in life. That is their decision and their decision alone. Living with an AS spouse is hard but what really makes life unbearable for me is everyone else thinking they have the right to tell others what they should think and feel instead of helping them be true to their own values.Oralynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10525894516663746671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-8484311902134533252018-12-21T05:40:40.240-08:002018-12-21T05:40:40.240-08:00After 7 years of marraige to what i thought was th...After 7 years of marraige to what i thought was the man of my dreams, I have gone from a Various Strong intelligent Assertive woman to a Nervous Wreck suffering anxiety disorder and eating disorder, my daily life is like smashing my head on a brick. My husband has no care towards me, i was choking once he just sat watching TV, no reaction,i had low blood pressure all my life,now it goes upto 190, if he leaves the room and im tested it goes back down, since he got diabetes he has changed for the worst. I can be loosing my mind at him, and 2 seconds later he calls me darl like nothings happened. He is 6ft 4 and strong build, once we had a fight he ran at me threw me like he was going to kill me. He interupts all the time, never lets me speak, answers for me, picks on me, sex life is non existant, yet he refuses to believe he does anything wrong. He says i do it all to myself! He left me in hospital to go find food, came back 1 hr later, couldnt understand why i was mad, he is very selfish,never put himself out.im an attractive woman according to freinds, and my husband will say embarrassing things if we are near males, like make sure you dont touch my wife, the list goes on, i dont like socialising because he embarras me, has said terrible things in public with no remorse or understanding. I can ask him do not do my washing you are wrecking it, he will repeat behaviour like a child that dosent listen. Im hurt lonely and health is going down hill Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02470050183725445815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-42486393173333709782018-12-03T19:13:01.807-08:002018-12-03T19:13:01.807-08:00Can anyone provide me with some help regarding how...Can anyone provide me with some help regarding how to explain an anger outburst to kids? My husband doesn't have a diagnosis but is for sure on the spectrum and has considerable anger and anxiety issues. Our 2 year old is very observant and has started to say things like "that's loud" when my husband yells/slams doors. I feel like I need to say something to him but nothing I'm saying seems right.Jaimiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03813757609656165402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-71725649366347568322018-08-20T05:38:16.139-07:002018-08-20T05:38:16.139-07:00Hi Sahron, It would greatly help you to seek to ha...Hi Sahron, It would greatly help you to seek to have regular connections with other women who, like yourself, believe in a loving Heavenly Father, and in this way have at least some of your emotional needs met through them. I do not mean to minimize the pain of your unique family situation, but still would like to say that you are not alone traveling in this path. The 'clouds of witnesses'are out there and I hope you can find the encouragement you need to sustain you. May God comfort and strengthen you! Hugs from a sister in another corner of the world. - Mekala. <br /> Mekalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10438666505818107447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-21180847756936023482018-08-19T11:49:33.415-07:002018-08-19T11:49:33.415-07:00"My question still remains, if I am constantl..."My question still remains, if I am constantly working around my aspie, where's peace and love? Emotionally, physically, socially, I am exhausted."<br />My reply: Exactly!!Sharon Howarthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665299156863355722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-58274636688310215832018-08-19T11:47:58.027-07:002018-08-19T11:47:58.027-07:00Anonymous of Sept 5, 2012/married 32 years--
27 yr...Anonymous of Sept 5, 2012/married 32 years--<br />27 yrs married to AS husband here -- my story is so identical to yours. He was dx'd over 15 yrs ago and never has chosen to address anything. He accepts his diagnosis, more as an excuse to just be the entitled child. I don't personally see how to find peace let alone happiness in a mother-son, mother-child relationship. To me, that is emotional incest! <br />I respect your choice to fight -- I have too, for all these years, along with raising three sons who are AS. I don't have any encouragement -- the health problems, neglect, sexual avoidance, demands for me to 'parent' him and be overly responsible are all so DEMEANING and DESTRUCTIVE to m basic worth as an individual with needs and reasonable expectations. <br />My ASHusband 'can't' grow and change, but he sure could engage in emotional affairs online with other women to get some ego stroking communications, while he stated over and over that he "didn't know" what he thought, or felt, or wanted to be responsible for in our marriage or family. How convenient this all has been! When I have witnessed the 'ability' to choose behaviors and empathic reciprocity showing caring for other women when he was motivated to, compared to his abject neglect of our relationship, that is surely revealing of a different dynamic, isn't it? <br />I have already tried focusing on good qualities, turning to my deep faith relationship with my heavenly Father, none of this has supplanted the very REAL needs and reasonable commitment I have asked for from my husband. I send you the best hopes that you can find a better path, but I honestly think that any progress depends on the willingness of the Asperger's spouse to commit to a learning process. I personally committed to being TOTALLY GREAT with my husband using apps to remind him to spend time with me, setting cell phone alarms to remind him to buy me a gift or take me on a date, or initiate sex. <br />HE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE ANY CHANGES NO MATTER HOW ADAPTIVE I WAS WILLING TO BE. <br /><br />I'm sorry if this is discouraging -- my life and the lives of our 3 AS sons have been very damaged due to my husband's insistence that HE is the primary child in this family. Our youngest AS son (19) is suicidal and lost because he has no hope for a future for himself, in the lens of what he sees in his dad. My son, though delayed, DOES see his dad's choices and behaviors happening over and over again. This is devastating and so sad. I am only alive because I choose to honor my scriptural beliefs and to continue to advocate and help our youngest son. I am undone here folks. Sharon Howarthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665299156863355722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-35359215255277460572018-08-19T11:34:00.301-07:002018-08-19T11:34:00.301-07:00Denise, I am interested in corresponding with you....Denise, I am interested in corresponding with you. Please check your google hangouts for invite from me -- I have 27 yrs with dx husband, many years in Al Anon... hopeful to hear from you!Sharon Howarthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665299156863355722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-90480765060399856492018-08-19T11:08:51.100-07:002018-08-19T11:08:51.100-07:00It has been a year since your post here -- I wonde...It has been a year since your post here -- I wonder if you have faced loss of your husband due to the cancer, by this time?<br />Regardless, I understand the isolation and void you describe -- 27 years to my AS husband- similar story regarding lack of intimacy.<br />I would encourage you to live for your own joy and fulfillment -- you are worth it. I found help in Al-Anon (similar story, different 'A'-word). I hope you find something for YOURSELF and that you practice self-care and dignity for your life.Sharon Howarthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665299156863355722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-70990974827770010752018-05-10T17:17:18.680-07:002018-05-10T17:17:18.680-07:00I am very proud of anyone that is in a successful ...I am very proud of anyone that is in a successful relationship. Especially those with disabilities. But, damn it!, I am still single here in Vernon County Wisconsin and I'd like to be in a successful relationship as well. I know I have the far upper end of ASD and Depression, but does everyone else with ASD who is in a relationship have that I don't? Sorry for the post, it at times gets much frustrating at times. Vincent, Southwest Wisconsin. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02895640931628313584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-64086164564216907802018-04-09T19:56:18.264-07:002018-04-09T19:56:18.264-07:00Can someone please help me. I have been in love wi...Can someone please help me. I have been in love with a possible Aspie male for over 7 years now and I am at my wits end. I need to know if he is on the spectrum or just doesn't care! Please e-mail me at: urbandecays@gmail.com<br />He is almost emotionless except irritation and anger, robotic and mimicking in response, will only add to emotional conversation if I ask a question and just ignores the rest, simple responses like "ok" "yes" "no", what gives???urbandecayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11158299452617007605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-56072329510292803342017-12-31T10:22:20.479-08:002017-12-31T10:22:20.479-08:00I agree that it takes 2 people to work on the issu...I agree that it takes 2 people to work on the issues. I'm an NT married for more than 20 years to an undx AS. Sought counseling for myself because he has me convinced I'm the one with anger issues, am overly controlling...and he is SO laid back, so the problem is with me, right? When I explain I'm stressed because he's been unemployed for the last several years, it's "my" problem that I don't understand this is "just temporary" -- no "yes, I can understand how that worries you, so what can I do to help ease your concerns?" When I stress that I'm responsible for the bills, household management, kids, cleaning, cooking, and now working because he doesn't, well it's my fault for "having high standards." Umm...preferring him to not pay bills anymore because he "forgets" and then we get fined for hundreds of dollars in late fees is a "high standard"? What freaks me out is that I've been working really hard to describe things rationally in hopes that helps him understand my perspective, and he gets so sidetracked in arguing where I'm wrong with my logic, that every conversation just devolves into a circle argument, with no resolution in sight. Frankly, it's depressing. My counselor is the one who picked up that he is AS (after meeting with him several times about "my issues"), and I've been doing tons of research and have been so relieved to say, "okay, now let's figure this out together." His response? He wants to "think about" for a while...so the silence about issues resolution just continues. I've decided at my next counseling session to let my therapist know I want to work on setting up healthy boundaries for me...after years of emotional need starvation, no sex, the majority of "life management" for us on my shoulders...I'm just exhausted. burnedouthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02870266374897790615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-69747784083501022102017-08-31T04:00:37.736-07:002017-08-31T04:00:37.736-07:00So so many of us - This is a tragedy! After only f...So so many of us - This is a tragedy! After only five years of living together i can see the whole picture of why we are having problems. I have one chance to suggest aspergers, although i expect he'll deny, deflect and continue to blame me (or our child) for all of our problems. Communication is impossible, on-every-single-subject. He brags about his Phd to anyone and everyone and quotes it as proof of intelligence. He is clever - and brilliant in many ways but emotionally dead - except for angry outbursts (which are then conveniently forgotten almost instantly), while i'm still mentally battered, thinking 'what the hell happended there?', not sleeping trying to make sense of this madness. <br />Had my hair analysis done - i have copper levels off the chart! - caused (i think) by the huge stressful burden of trying to live with a robot. Even he (the expert scientist!) says copper is a neurotoxin, but thinks i've been drinking from the hot water tap when i brush my teeth. Copper over 3 times the normal level? How can i ever heal my system while i'm smothered by it everyday. He is making me sick and the worst part is: if my body degenerates into some life threatening mess, he'll use that to get sympathy from outsiders! His display of concern and care in public are so incredibly fake its laughable. Like living with a psychopath fooling the world but hurting his loved ones. We have a young child and i'm scared for his safety. After his previous failed marriage: His comments about fathers killing their children and themselves after divorce!! We're not married but i can't leave for fear of his mental state and our child. Sorry for the rant - so glad i'm not alone though. Wish i could meet up with anybody in the UK to find some other humans who understand the hardship of living in this hell. im not mad 9 with no spaces, then gmail dot c o m if anybody is out there? Hugs to you all lovely people.imnotmad9https://www.blogger.com/profile/11966563053098160428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-46206917090743795632017-08-29T17:27:16.055-07:002017-08-29T17:27:16.055-07:00Honestly, it sounds more like OCD and possibly hoa...Honestly, it sounds more like OCD and possibly hoarding behaviors. Have you looked up the aspergers behavior checklists online?EvaDestructionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13797812181497598191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-66722003247153754032017-08-22T18:26:16.836-07:002017-08-22T18:26:16.836-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16804469416592395416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-89829155771281268582017-08-20T16:22:47.673-07:002017-08-20T16:22:47.673-07:00I have been married to an aspie for 49 years. He h...I have been married to an aspie for 49 years. He has retired three times but keeps going back after a few months. He uses the excuse of credit card debt which I piled while searching for something to fill the void. It has been a sex less marriage for 20 years due time his health I guess. Now he has stage 4 cancer and is once again picking work over me. It is only a few days a week but I feel rejected (not a new feeling). I am hollow and so far beyond sad. I live on antidepressants and he just acts like life is fine. Help.Waybeyondsadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17423178159584096197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-34871163381457196072017-06-04T23:27:59.959-07:002017-06-04T23:27:59.959-07:00I am in desperate need of some kind of emotional c...I am in desperate need of some kind of emotional connection. I love my husband. He's an impressive provider and is far more responsible than I. And I am emotionally unkept and loosing the best parts of myself to sadness or a lack of emotional safety. I'm determined to find a way to make a life together. We have children that would be irrevocably scarred if we didn't. And one of our children was diagnosed with classic autism at age two and currently functions completely in drama and a public school setting in a charter school. So if there is any woman married to a man on the spectrum out there interested in exchanging numbers and texting or email or something... I could really use a friend that actually understands. Instead of a world of people who say... "oh yeah.. my husband ignores me sometimes too...." as if they're experiencing the same thing, lol. 907.953.2909 or kissing coffee at hotmail with out a space in between kissing and coffee.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09156679361651999798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-5548675400276485902017-03-05T20:42:58.127-08:002017-03-05T20:42:58.127-08:00I stayed because I felt I didn't know him well...I stayed because I felt I didn't know him well enough yet to walk away. Now it seems this is as deep as it was ever going to be. I am a parent to him and my daughter, nobody to lean on or talk to but myself. He won't understand how much I have done and neither can I hold it over him because he has 'A S' so will never really understand. <br />In one way I have had to become the social butterfly talking to everyone, had to build my own network of friends in order to have a 'normal social life'. Luckily I also found dear friends drom 30 years ago, so occasional outings help me. I have tried, bringing one or two of them over and it seemed ok, the last time he ignored them, put on his pajamas and went to bed.I resented having to do it alone,as I wanted it to be both of us, men show interest, seeing me alone in a circle of friends, again I feel deep anger and resentment, because I am married, my husband is who I want to be there, not anyone else, but he isn't so I put on a brave face but hurt inside from loneliness. <br />I have done everything, burying myself in hobbies long and short term, take classes, garden around the house,learning DIY, redid my floors and tile and kitchen . Planned project to fill the void of loneliness. He would go to sleep from early in the evening or sleep most of the weekend with no desire or interest. My dad is very old school and just assumed he is lazy and said he was worried about our future. No eye to eye contact. In the last 2 years, Yes he has left me, on vacation,twice, got up from the dinner table and never returned.Left me at my best friend's wedding,at family gatherings, shutdown,wanted to be left alone, answers rudely nothing is wrong, and proceeds to go into the bedroom, refuses to come out for dinner or breakfast the next morning. Everyone feels awkward, I try to keep spirits high. <br />Now accept I have go on separate vacations where I won't get embarrassed. A few weeks ago,I told his mother about his AS, she was relieved to know and saddened. Her words, what will become of him? He just gives up, no ambition or any plans for his future. He was always so mild and laid back but lately the rage is appearing. Something's gotta give!Vudgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01363167505258071139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-85499682669694880342017-03-05T20:41:26.757-08:002017-03-05T20:41:26.757-08:00Two years ago, I had finally figured out that my h...Two years ago, I had finally figured out that my husband has Aspergers Syndrome after 23 years of marriage. He was relieved as he read the symptoms, everything made sense to him. I am floored that so many of us are in the same boat, I am not alone! Thought I was losing my mind,losing hair teeth with worry. His shutdowns have increased, hates everyone at work, or, refuses to go into work regardless of the consequences of us suffering financially. Our daughter freaks out, why won't he go to work for days at a time, when her boyfriend visited us for 2 weeks, we said he took vacation days.Yes,done the protection thing, yes, my family call him lazy, they don't know,see him as putting all pressure on me. He doesn't see how, has no friends which I found odd bmet him coming out of the military and having lived in different states I took as an 'Oh well'.<br /> Tender and affectionate at first, gentle, all of those things. Once we got married,everything diminished to almost zero, like friends with the occasional benefit every 3 months or so.YES, I wondered,was me? Did he want to break up but not know how to do it?Was there someone else ? I'm not pretty enough, he doesn't like me as a person ? No sex. I too thought maybe he was bisexual/gay. You can imagine, these last few years we are like friends with no benefits.I have no desire to be intimate, too consumed with making a living for all of us, and resentful that he is so blase about it. I start talking,he walks away,doesn't want to hear it, no eye to eye contact, no discussions,apart from the news, weather, groceries. Occasionally he will listen, and reply with who cares if we live in a box! We have a daughter in her final year of high school,studying hard giving 100%, she cannot wait to go to college and move from home. She said it's too embarrassing . No friends visit, and her boyfriends feel sorry for her. She only invites them after months or even years of visiting her bf parents, because,at dinner,he shuts down,eats dinner so fast,sits head hanging low, no eye contact,ignoring general questions, avoiding conversation. She signals to me, maybe he would go in the living room, watch tv or come back when dessert was ready,but, no he insisted on staying put,blank expression, staring at his plate. I have given so much. Gave up our dream home,our second home, tried again, after a few years he said we couldn't afford it,which took less than one persons wage to make the mortgage. Once again,thought he wanted out, I'm not attractive. He couldn't understand why I felt that way. I adapted, now we are renting,paying lowest ever, last summer he said he is overwhelmed. I am at the end. It is all on me,until our daughter goes to college next year. I don't hate him,he is kind and sweet person,but we will be great as neighbours these meltdowns have taken their toll and would simply like some time for me.Vudgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01363167505258071139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-28492511224695165402017-02-25T17:57:03.015-08:002017-02-25T17:57:03.015-08:00I've suspected for years that my husband has A...I've suspected for years that my husband has Aspergers. Lots of the behaviours add up. Eg if I shift something in the house he'll put it back to the original spot. He doesn't know or acknowledge when I'm feeling hurt. And I can never have my side of the story. If I let my guard down and make my frustrations obvious then he stops communications for days/ weeks. Months and years later he will raise that period of time accusing me of madness. He is also keeps newspapers. There are neat piles of them everywhere. He says he will put them in the recycling bin once he's read them. Some are up to 10 years old or more. Is this a feature of Aspergers. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly and I also love some of his Aspergers traits - if indeed that is what he has. Occasionally and now is one of those time he leaves and is not contactable for days. I worry about him and miss him. In the past I've suggested counselling - no way he's going. He remembers past occasions when my frustrations have become obvious as my periods of madness - they are very short compared to his prolonged sullen moodiness that follows. To compound these traits he has also in the past been a gambler but denies addiction and says he's stopped. For many years he's said he doesn't love me. Help - I'm not mad. He just won't have a conversation about any of this. Not coping. Is it Aspergers?Lovehimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08867565218077345872noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-6746450168031682372017-01-29T23:45:56.542-08:002017-01-29T23:45:56.542-08:00I can't believe that I just found this site. ...I can't believe that I just found this site. I have read nearly all the posts -- twice. I've been married to my husband for 26 years. I knew from the beginning that he was quirky, but he was able to "hide" his AS behaviors until we had kids. Then the flood gates opened. Like many who have written before me, I diagnosed my husband myself (when I read a book by Temple Grandin.) It wasn't an "AHA" moment, it was a "HOLY SHIT" moment. Soon thereafter, I had a complete emotional collapse. For the last 12 years, I have been taking Paxil and Ativan for my anxiety. Between absorbing all of his anxiety, anger, rage, and depression, raising my kids by myself, and coming to terms with this realization that he has AS, I lost it. However, as he gets older, the AS traits are getting worse. The comments about difficulties with intimacy have made me cry. I'm a passionate person who loves to touch and be touched. I call our bed the "desert". There's NO touching unless he remembers to have sex, and then it's very mechanical and strictly to satisfy him. Like someone said earlier, I have sex so he's nicer to me for a day. My kids are young adults and lately my heart aches because I know we have not modeled a normal, healthy marriage. I have killed myself to make sure that they understand what normal is, even if they have never seen it from us. This makes me so sad. I am not a needy person, rather I'm independent, generally upbeat, self-sufficient and type A. But, I'm exhausted and done. In recent years, I have touched on the subject of AS with my husband. (His mother, nephew and niece are textbook cases.) He has sought counseling, but it only lasts a few weeks. I have told him on numerous occasions that I'm unhappy, I've asked him many times why he hates me. At age 54, it's not okay that this is what the rest of my life is going to be like. Even sadder, my kids would totally understand if I left.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12135892613708410380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-73583101566341484992017-01-13T06:34:23.697-08:002017-01-13T06:34:23.697-08:00Thank you both very much. This was all very helpfu...Thank you both very much. This was all very helpful. <br /><br />Thank you again, and I hope you both are well. Aspie looking for NT advicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03523782123572630134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-212330848782074107.post-20784935497808124512016-12-08T14:36:07.909-08:002016-12-08T14:36:07.909-08:00Part 4: I know this may sound crazily immature but...Part 4: I know this may sound crazily immature but my ex sent me a text saying he had seen me and my boyfriend at the mall and how cute he thought I looked along with some other flirty stuff. I sent a screen shot of the text to my boyfriend and acted like I meant to send it to a girlfriend of mine. Let's be honest, these people make you want to ignite an emotional reaction in them because they act like they have zero. I guess I wanted to see how he would react. Well, he all of a sudden was Mr. Emotional, telling me I brought him to tears and everyone at work was asking him what's wrong. Funny how they want all this sympathy but don't give a rats a** when they hurt someone. Last night I told him there's no reason to stay in this relationship when he doesn't even fight for me when I say I'm fed up. He says, well when someone says their fed up there's nothing anyone can do. This black and white thinking makes me want to bash my head on the wall. I sit there in a confusion wondering how someone can think like this. It's literally like half of their brain is turned OFF! What I need to accept is there is no way no how that I can turn that part on! I have always been a go-getter in achieving anything I set my mind to so this has been a hard pill to swallow that there's no hope. I like many things about him but these deficits in his thinking make the relationship unbearable and I will regret staying with him. It's so hard for me to just walk away though because I also wonder a lot of times if I'm being too hard on him and expecting too much. It's just that everything I know about how a relationship should go and how we should interact and respond to conflict goes against how he is. From what I've read in this and other posts, it's very hard for women to walk away from these men, but I haven't figured out why, especially when they are obviously so hurtful. I guess it's a form of abuse and the confusion these people leave you in makes it hard to think clearly. Anyone that can offer any advice on if I'm making the right decision in leaving him, NT or AS, I would greatly welcome that. And sorry for the super long post - I have been putting off doing this because I knew it was going to be a book.dictionariesandmassageshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02587451419766922918noreply@blogger.com