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Showing posts sorted by relevance for query anxiety. Sort by date Show all posts

ASD and that Damn Anxiety Problem

"Why is it that people with autism spectrum disorder seem to have more than their fair share of anxiety? I have suffered with this damn thing my entire life – as far back as I can remember. And it doesn’t get any better with age by the way. Suggestions!?"

People with ASD (high-functioning autism) are particularly vulnerable to anxiety. This vulnerability is a basic trait of the disorder due to (a) the breakdown in circuitry related to extinguishing fear responses, (b) social skills deficits, and (c) specific neurotransmitter system defects.

Reasons for anxiety include the following:
  • Lack of displayed empathy (another Asperger’s trait) significantly limits skills for self-directed social problem solving.
  • Limitations in generalizing from one situation to another contributes to repeating the same social errors.
  • Social skills deficits related to Asperger’s make it difficult for “Aspies” to develop coping techniques for calming themselves and containing difficult emotions. 
  • Their inability to grasp social cues and their highly rigid style act together to create repeated social mistakes (e.g., saying the wrong thing at the wrong time). 
  • In the workplace, it is not uncommon for the Aspie to be bullied and teased by his coworkers, yet he can’t mount effective socially adaptive responses, which often results in both anxiety and learned helplessness.



Several medications have been tried for treatment of anxiety. SRIs, buspirone, and alpha-adrenergic agonist medications (e.g., clonidine or guanfacine) have been tried. The best evidence to date supports use of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors. One relatively new drug that seems to be having remarkable success in alleviating anxiety is Fetzima.

As a side note, people on the autism spectrum may be more vulnerable to side effects – and may exhibit unusual side effects. For example, disinhibition (i.e., a temporary loss of inhibition) is particularly prominent and can be seen with any of the serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Also, excessive doses may produce “amotivational syndrome” (i.e., a psychological condition associated with diminished inspiration to participate in social situations and activities).

Self-help strategies to reduce anxiety include the following:
  • avoid “what if” thinking (e.g., ‘What if I fail?’ … ‘What if I get sick?’)
  • avoid black-and-white (all-or-nothing) thinking 
  • avoid talking in absolutes (i.e., using words such as always, never, should, must, no one and everyone)
  • develop a daily log to plan out your days (include healthy activities)
  • develop a sense of self-trust (i.e., the ability to believe that you can handle what life throws at you)
  • don’t be a “people-pleaser” (e.g., when do you say ‘yes’ to someone when you really want to say ‘no’)
  • practice yoga
  • realize and accept that you can’t control life, you can only control yourself
  • realize that you’re responsible for your happiness and your life
  • reduce your perfectionistic tendencies
  • stop relying on others for approval

Lastly, but most importantly, distinguish fact from fiction. Fear is being afraid of something, and you know exactly what it is that you’re afraid of (e.g., heights). Anxiety is being afraid of something, but you’re NOT sure what it is. Anxiety is fiction. It’s an anticipation of things going wrong in the future. But since the future doesn’t exist (except as a mental construct), then anxiety about a future event is fiction.
 
 

Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism  

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder


 
COMMENTS:

Anonymous said… All part of autism? Get used to it and fight it best you can! This is where the tiredness and long sleeps are relevant!
Anonymous said… as long as autistics are perceived and treated as diseased toys, they`re going to have a much higher rate of mental health issues. as long as autistics try to live like people who aren`t autistic, they`re going to have a higher rate of mental health issues. it`s really pretty simple. the solutions are more complex, however.
Anonymous said… Easier said than done. The adult Asperger want to achieve some balance and sometimes accumulative PTSD feeds into the situation, too, with triggers that appear out of left field. Overwhelming.
Anonymous said… I can only speak for myself, but my anxiety is "out there" so fast, I can never "control" it; it's too dam quick, damage done, and I'm already in wtf-mode before realizing I'm palpitating and acting like an idiot. Which makes me more anxious! I don't know how to forewarn myself to try to stop it; it just happens
Anonymous said… I love how when I went to a doctor all they wanted to do was treat the anxiety and when I asked "what about the other symptoms like innattention and sensory issues and social issues" they just ignored even trying to get me a diagnoses suggesting that anti anxiety meds would be "the cure" instead of what it really did - make me suicidal
Anonymous said… It is a hard question to answer,, but the best thing is to try and find an outlet.. to not let the anxiety spiral and take hold.
Anonymous said… Ive warned all of people around me to get away when i get angry because i really cant stop my rage 
Anonymous said… Meditation helps
Anonymous said… right it's like a nightmare coming true times 100.
Anonymous said… Why do we have anxiety? Because from birth we have been being told we aren't normal. Don't do that, dont say that, look here, go there, sound like this, look like that. When you have to think about everything just to comprehend what's going on around you, and then add in being the best actor/actress everyone has seen, because otherwise you make them uncomfortable, go figure we have anxiety!
•    Anonymous said… as long as autistics are perceived and treated as diseased toys, they`re going to have a much higher rate of mental health issues. as long as autistics try to live like people who aren`t autistic, they`re going to have a higher rate of mental health issues. it`s really pretty simple. the solutions are more complex, however.
•    Anonymous said… Have any of y'all tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? I'm looking into it for my 22 years old son. His meltdowns are so violent and I'm terrified he's going to end up in jail one day. Any thoughts?
•    Anonymous said… it might help, if the therapist is experienced and knowledgeable enough about autistics. but his meltdowns at this point are probably ptsd. that`s very hard to recover from. i have a similar issue myself. what he needs to learn are appropriate personal and social boundaries for himself, and how to live like an autistic. cbt might help with boundaries. it won`t help much with living like an autistic.
•    Anonymous said… My anxiety is off the hook! My doc put me on some med that I will need to purge off of but it isn't helping me stop biting my nails and having bad dreams...is anyone here having the same symptoms?
•    Anonymous said… The push for uniformity of human beings in our world is most disturbing. The simple frustration of growing up with people always trying to change your fundamental personality and the stress of trying to fit in ... and failing ...

Please post your comment below…

Anxiety and Associated Obsessive-Compulsive Behaviors in People on the Autism Spectrum

 


“Can anxiety and/or OCD be the cause for my (ASD) husband's shutdowns?" 

 

Obsessive-compulsive issues (e.g., rituals, rigidity, perseverations, creating rules, black-and-white thinking, etc.) originate in the ASD person’s difficulty understanding the social world. This creates anxiety, which is the underlying cause for obsessive-compulsive behaviors. You, the NT wife, will see anxiety in many different ways depending on how your husband manifests it. 

 

Some people on the autism spectrum will show anxiety in obvious ways (e.g., frustration, anger, isolation). Others show it by trying to control the situation and bossing people around. Some may throw an adult temper tantrum. No matter how your husband displays his anxiety, you need to recognize that it’s there and not assume it’s due to some other cause (e.g., insensitivity, narcissism, not caring about the relationship, etc.).

 

Anxiety can occur for the smallest reason. Don't judge anxiety-producing situations by your own reaction to an event. Your husband may be much more sensitive to situations than you will be, and you may often have the thought that “there is no logical reason for his anxiety.” On the other hand, something that you would be highly anxious about may cause no anxiety in your husband. 

 

Your husband's first reaction to marital conflict is to try to reduce - or eliminate - his anxiety. He MUST do something, and one of the most effective means is to take all changes, uncertainty, and variability out of the equation. This can be accomplished by obsessions. 

 

If everything is done a certain way, if there is a definite and unbreakable rule for every event, and if everyone does as he wishes – everything will be fine. Anxiety is then diminished or reduced, and no meltdowns or shutdowns occur. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to do this in the real world.  

 

Behavioral manifestations of anxiety in your spouse may include the following:

 

  • Wanting things to go his way, when he wants them to - no matter what anyone else may want.
  • Tending to conserve energy and put forth the least effort he can (except with highly-preferred activities).
  • Remaining in his “fantasy world” a good deal of the time - and appearing unaware of events around him.
  • Reacting poorly to new events, transitions, or changes.
  • Preferring to do the same things over and over.
  • Lecturing others or engaging in a monologue rather than having a reciprocal conversation.
  • Intensely disliking loud noises and crowds.
  • Insisting on having things and events occur in a certain way.
  • Having trouble socializing - or avoiding socializing altogether. 
  • Having a narrow range of interests, and becoming fixated on certain topics or routines.
  • Eating a narrow range of foods.
  • Displaying some odd behaviors because he is anxious or does not know what to do in a particular situation.
  • Demonstrating unusual fears, and showing resistance to directions from others.
  • Demanding unrealistic perfection in himself – and others.
  • Creating his own set of rules for doing something.
  • Becoming easily overwhelmed and having difficulty calming down.


  
 
 
==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples [eBook and Audio]

Asperger’s Adults Who Don’t Leave the House

It’s a well-known fact that adults with Asperger’s (AS) and High-Functioning Autism (HFA) tend to have more than their fair share of anxiety. And sometimes the anxiety is so severe that these individuals receive a diagnosis of anxiety disorder. Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder in which people avoid situations that they are afraid might cause them to panic. They might avoid being alone, leaving their home or any situation where they could feel trapped, embarrassed or helpless if they do panic.

Individuals with agoraphobia often have a hard time feeling safe in any public place, especially where crowds gather. The fears can be so overwhelming that they may be essentially trapped in your own home.

Agoraphobia treatment can be tough because it usually means confronting one’s fears. But with medications and psychotherapy, adults on the autism spectrum can escape the trap of agoraphobia and live a more enjoyable life.

Agoraphobia is a type of phobia. A phobia is the excessive fear of a specific object, circumstance or situation. Agoraphobia is excessive worry about having a panic attack in a public place. Commonly feared places and situations are airplanes, bridges, crowds, elevators, lines of people, public transportation, shopping malls, and sporting events.

Typical agoraphobia symptoms include:
  • A sense that one’s body is unreal
  • Fear of being alone in any situation
  • Fear of being in crowded places
  • Fear of being in places where it may be hard to leave (e.g., elevator, train)
  • Fear of losing control in a public place
  • Inability to leave the house for long periods (i.e., being housebound)
  • Over-dependence on others
  • Sense of helplessness

In addition, one may also have signs and symptoms similar to a panic attack, including:
  • Chest pain
  • Dizziness
  • Excessive sweating
  • Feeling a loss of control
  • Flushing
  • Feeling light-headed
  • Nausea
  • Rapid heart rate
  • Trouble breathing
  • Trouble swallowing
  • Upset stomach or diarrhea

Possible agoraphobia risk factors include:
  • Being female
  • Experiencing stressful life events (e.g., sexual abuse or physical abuse during childhood)
  • Having a tendency to be nervous or anxious
  • Having an alcohol or substance abuse disorder
  • Having panic disorder

Agoraphobia greatly limits a person’s daily activities. In severe cases, one may not even be able to leave the house. Without treatment, some individuals become housebound for years. They may not be able to visit with family and friends, go to school or work, walk their dog, run errands, or take part in other normal daily activities. They may become dependent on others for help (e.g., grocery shopping). Agoraphobia can also lead to depression and anxiety. And individuals with agoraphobia may turn to alcohol or substance abuse to help cope with the fear, guilt, hopelessness, isolation and loneliness.

Antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications are often used to treat agoraphobia and panic symptoms. Adults on the spectrum may have to try several different medications before they find one that works best for them. A doctor is likely to prescribe one of the following:
  • Anti-anxiety medication. Also called benzodiazepines, these drugs can help control symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks. However, these medications can cause dependence if taken in doses larger than prescribed or over a longer period of time than prescribed. The doctor will weigh this risk against the potential benefit of this class of drugs. Drugs in this category that are FDA-approved for the treatment of panic disorder with agoraphobia include alprazolam (Xanax) and clonazepam (Klonopin).
  • Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). Drugs in this category that are FDA-approved for the treatment of panic disorder with agoraphobia include paroxetine (Paxil, Paxil CR) and fluoxetine (Prozac, Prozac Weekly, Sarafem).
  • Other types of antidepressants, such as a tricyclic antidepressant or monoamine oxidase inhibitor. While these drugs may effectively treat agoraphobia, they're associated with more side effects than are SSRIs.


Several types of psychotherapy or counseling can help agoraphobia. One common therapy that's used is cognitive behavioral therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy has two parts:
  1. The cognitive part involves learning more about agoraphobia and panic attacks and how to control them. Individuals learn what factors may trigger a panic attack or panic-like symptoms and what makes them worse. They also learn how to cope with these symptoms (e.g., breathing exercises, relaxation techniques).
  2. The behavioral part of cognitive behavioral therapy involves changing unwanted or unhealthy behaviors through desensitization (sometimes called exposure therapy). This technique helps one safely face the places and situations that cause fear and anxiety. A therapist may join the client on outings to help her stay safe and comfortable (e.g., trips to the mall, driving a car). The more the person goes to feared places and realizes she is okay, the more her anxiety will lessen.

If one has trouble leaving the home, how can she possibly go to a therapist's office? Therapists who treat agoraphobia will be well aware of this problem. They may offer to see clients first in their home, or they may meet clients in one of their “safe zones.” They may also offer some sessions over the phone or through email. Asperger’s adults with agoraphobia should look for a therapist who can help them find alternatives to in-office appointments, at least in the early part of treatment.

Certain dietary and herbal supplements have calming and anti-anxiety benefits. Before one takes any of these for agoraphobia, she should talk with her health care professional. Although these supplements are available over-the-counter, they still pose possible health risks in some individuals (e.g., the herbal treatment called kava is marketed as a treatment for anxiety, but the supplement has been linked to multiple cases of severe liver damage).

Living with fear of panic attacks can make life difficult for anyone with agoraphobia, no matter how severe it is. Professional treatment of agoraphobia can help people overcome this disorder or manage it effectively so that they don't become a prisoner to their fears. Individuals can also take some steps on their own to cope and care for themselves when they have agoraphobia:
  1. Alcohol and illegal drugs can worsen panic or anxiety symptoms. Avoid these substances!
  2. If one takes medication or is already in therapy or counseling for panic disorder, she should continue to follow her treatment plan. If she develops any symptoms of agoraphobia, she should get treatment as soon as possible, which will help prevent symptoms from getting worse over time. 
  3. If one has experienced panic attacks or has panic disorder, she should get treatment as soon as possible. Because panic disorder and agoraphobia are closely related, getting treatment for panic disorder may prevent the development of agoraphobia. 
  4. Individuals with agoraphobia are overwhelmed with worry about losing control or having a panic attack. Working with a health care professional, people can learn how to calm and soothe themselves. They can practice these skills on their own, especially at the first hint of anxiety.
  5. Meditation, yoga and imagery are among the simple relaxation techniques that may help — and the person can do them in the comfort of her own home. It’s a good idea to practice these techniques when you aren't anxious or worried, and then put them into action during stressful situations.
  6. Consider joining a self-help or support group, where you can connect with others who understand what you're going through.
  7. Get enough rest, eat a balanced diet, and try to exercise every day.
  8. It may take a couple of weeks to start seeing benefits when you first start a medication, but stick it out. Also, don't stop a medication without first consulting your doctor, because some medications can cause withdrawal-like symptoms.
  9. It's hard to go to places or be in situations that make you uncomfortable or that bring on symptoms of anxiety. But practicing going to more places does make them less frightening and anxiety-provoking. Family, friends and your therapist can help you work on this. Anxiety tends to increase the more you avoid situations that you fear. If you start to have mild fears about going places that are safe, try to practice going to those places before your fear becomes overwhelming. If this is too hard to do on your own, ask a family member or friend to go with you.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples


COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… I rarely leave the house... I get angry when my husband points out that I never go out.. I go on defense, though I know he's right... I guess because I know it's an issue and I don't know how to battle it. I've been this way as long as I can remember and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to beat it.. There are a lot of times I think I should probably seek professional help, but that, in itself, is terrifying for me.
•    Anonymous said… I know it feels hard. Think if your husband didn't love you, he wouldn't push so hard. That being said, you have to feel ready to do it for yourself. What is the worst that could happen seeking professional help...maybe getting unstuck, and better? You may not know how to handle it, and that is where the pro's come in. If you call around a lot of places you can have a therapist visit your home.
•    Anonymous said… I just have a lot of trust issues.. I find it really really hard to open up.. especially verbally. I am not good at talking. My husband made a comment last night about how getting me to open up is like having to get through a difficult maze. He's not wrong. I've been to a therapist before.. and I've had a psychiatrist.. for a long time.. But years ago. I keep thinking I need to start going again.. But somehow, the longer I go, the harder it is to go get help.
•    Anonymous said… You are correct in this diagnosis of Aspies not wanting to leave the house when we don't want to but what is your point? Do you have a solution or formula that makes me want to go out somewhere and socialize? I go out when one of my kids wants to go shopping. I am not going out to hang at a bar or anything like that. I like being home alone. No, I don't have a husband and nor do I want one.
•    Anonymous said… My daughter and I have an understanding that we will go to the BJ's next weekend. Her husband comes over occasionally to get a plate of food when I cook and he's driving for Uber at night.
•    Anonymous said… I don't want to be among people when I don't have to be...oh, wait, maybe it's because I have Aspergers! lol

Post your comment below…

Aspergers Employees and Workplace Anxiety


Many Aspergers and high-functioning autistic employees experience work-related stress. The possible stressors include: social, task-related, and environmental. Let’s look at each of these in turn.

Social Stressors—

Many employees with Aspergers experience some level of anxiety in social situations they encounter on the job. For example:

• Employers— A good experience with a caring employer can cause a lasting impression on an employee’s life. A bad experience can also make a lasting impression! While many employers do their best to provide their workers with a positive workplace experience by coaching and advising them on how to perform at their peak, many people with Aspergers are better suited for certain coaching styles and work-related tasks. If there's a mismatch between employer and employee in this regard, the “Aspie” can form lasting negative feelings about work and his/her own abilities.

• Workplace Bullies— Many places of business have anti-bullying policies. Though bullying does still happen in the workplace even with these policies, help is generally more easily accessible than it was years ago. The bad news is that workplace bullying has gone high-tech and may not necessarily happen on the job-site. There are some people who use the Internet (e.g., Facebook) to target a fellow employee that they have a “beef” with. One reason for this is that they don't have to face their target, so it's easier to shed any empathy that they may otherwise feel in face-to-face interactions.

• Workplace Ostracization— There are many reported cases in which the individual with Aspergers didn’t necessarily get bullied in the fullest sense of the term, but he or she - for whatever reason - has a “bad” reputation in the workplace (possibly for being too quirky or self-absorbed in the eyes of others). As a result, fellow employees purposefully ignore and reject the Aspie (a form of bullying with no repercussions).

Task-related Stressors—

The following are some of the main sources of task-related stress for Aspergers employees:

• Work That's Too Easy— Just as it can be stressful to handle a heavy and challenging workload, some Aspergers employees can experience stress from work that isn't difficult enough. Unfortunately, many Aspies are given job assignments that are significantly beneath their potential and capabilities. As a result, they run the risk of developing a cynical, bitter attitude about their employment, which can lead to poor performance, mask the root of the difficulty, and perpetuate the problem.

• Task Anxiety— Many of us experience work-related anxiety when we are moved to a different department or are given a new job assignment. Unfortunately, change is very difficult for people with Aspergers, as they prefer to maintain a consistent routine. Studies show that greater levels of task anxiety hinder performance on the job.

Environmental Stressors—

Certain aspects of an Aspergers employee’s environment can also cause anxiety that can spill over and affect performance. The following are some stressors that Aspies may not realize are impacting them:

• Lack of Sleep— Many Aspies report having sleep problems (often related to chronic anxiety issues). As schedules pack up with overtime, extracurricular activities, and family time, they often get less sleep than they need. Operating under a sleep deficit doesn’t just mean drowsiness, it also leads to lack of coordination, moodiness, poor cognitive-functioning, and other negative effects.

• Noise Pollution— Many people with Aspergers have sensory sensitivities. Noise pollution in the workplace has been shown to cause stress that impacts some employees’ performance on the job.

• Poor Diet— With the surplus of convenience food and the time constraints many people experience these days, the average person’s diet has more sugar and less nutritious content than is recommended. This often leads to mood swings, lack of energy, and other negative effects that impact anxiety levels. This is magnified in the individual who is already experiencing undue stress in other areas of life.

Signs of workplace anxiety include:

•    Withdrawal
•    Excessive shyness
•    Stomachaches
•    Meltdowns
•    Frequently calling in sick
•    Nightmares
•    Negative attitude
•    Cynicism
•    Anger control problems
•    Shutdowns
•    Headaches
•    Feeling unsafe in the workplace
•    Fear of getting laid off or fired
•    Excessive worry and fear about job performance
•    Difficulty going to sleep
•    Loss of appetite
•    Increased appetite
•    Excessive alcohol consumption
•    Drug use

You can’t eliminate or escape anxiety that may occur in the workplace. It’s a fact of modern life. Nonetheless, workplace anxiety is a serious subject. More than one third of American workers experience chronic work-related stress, which is costing American businesses billions of dollars a year in medical bills and lost work hours.



Here are a few simple, yet highly effective suggestions for those who may be experiencing workplace anxiety:
  1. Schedule quality social time. Each week, schedule some time with a friend to just hang out and laugh.
  2. Meditate regularly. Even 5 minutes a day can help lower blood pressure, and can help you control the thoughts that trigger anxiety. 
  3. Learn to say “no.” Being overworked and over-committed leads to anxiety. Don’t feel obligated to say “yes” to everything for fear you won’t be liked.
  4. Reconnect with your spiritual roots. When you’re chronically stressed, it’s easy to forget about your place in the bigger picture. Prayer, meditation, chanting, or other rituals are great ways to get perspective on what’s stressing you – and relieve that pressure. 
  5. Get enough sleep. Work-related anxiety is magnified when you’re sleep-deprived and foggy-headed. 
  6. Get creative. Carve out some time to tap into your inner child (e.g., cooking dinner, handwriting a card to a friend, creating a vision board, etc.).
  7. Exercise regularly. Physical activity releases stress-relieving chemicals. 
  8. Eat whole foods. Processed food can cause you to feel even more stressed than you already are.
  9. Cultivate a grateful attitude. You can take the sting out of negative events by focusing on what’s good in your life. 
  10. Engage in appropriate sexual activity. Sex increases the production of oxytocin (often referred to as the “love hormone”). Before achieving an orgasm, oxytocin levels in the brain surge and are accompanied by a release of endorphins.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples
 

Help for Anxiety & Depression: Tips for Adults on the Autism Spectrum

When an individual with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) has depression and/or anxiety, high-intensity cardio may seem like the last thing anyone would want to do. But once the affected person gets motivated, high-intensity cardio can make a big difference. Research on anxiety, depression and high-intensity cardio shows that the psychological and physical benefits of this form of exercise help reduce anxiety and improve mood.



The links between anxiety, depression and high-intensity cardio aren't entirely clear — but it can definitely help you relax and make you feel better. High-intensity cardio may also help keep anxiety and depression from coming back once you're feeling better.

High-intensity cardio probably helps ease anxiety and depression in a number of ways, for example:
  • Doing something positive to manage depression and anxiety is a healthy coping strategy. Trying to feel better by drinking alcohol, dwelling on how badly you feel, or hoping depression and anxiety will go away on its own can lead to worsening symptoms.
  • Meeting high-intensity cardio goals or challenges, even small ones, can boost your self-confidence. Getting in shape can also make you feel better about your appearance.
  • High-intensity cardio may give you the chance to meet or socialize with others. Just exchanging a friendly smile or greeting as you jog around your neighborhood can help your mood.
  • High-intensity cardio increases body temperature, which may have calming effects.
  • High-intensity cardio reduces immune system chemicals that can worsen depression.
  • High-intensity cardio releases feel-good brain chemicals that may ease depression (neurotransmitters and endorphins).
  • High-intensity cardio helps you to take your mind off worries. It is a distraction that can get you away from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed anxiety and depression.

The term "high-intensity cardio" may make you think of running laps around the gym. But this form of exercise includes a wide range of activities that boost your activity level to help you feel better. Certainly running, lifting weights, playing basketball and other fitness activities that get your heart pumping can help. But so can less intense forms of cardio, such as gardening, washing your car, or walking around the block. Anything that gets you off the couch and moving is exercise that can help improve your mood.

You don't have to do all your cardio at once either. Broaden how you think of cardio and find ways to fit activity into your routine. Add small amounts of physical activity throughout your day (e.g., take the stairs instead of the elevator, park a little farther away from your work to fit in a short walk, consider biking to work, etc.).

Doing just 20 minutes of high-intensity cardio a day for three days a week can significantly improve depression and anxiety symptoms. But smaller amounts of activity — as little as 10 minutes at a time — can make a difference too. However, bear in mind that it will take less time exercising to improve your mood when you do more vigorous forms of exercise, such as running or bicycling.

Starting and sticking with a high-intensity cardio routine can be a challenge. Below are some steps that can help. Check with your doctor before starting a new cardio program to make sure it's safe for you.
  1. Figure out what's stopping you from exercising. If you feel self-conscious, for example, you may want to do your workouts at home. If you stick to goals better with a partner, find a friend to work out with. If you don't have money to spend on expensive cardio equipment (e.g., a treadmill), do something that's virtually cost-free, such as walking. If you think about what's stopping you from exercising, you can probably find an alternative solution.
  2. If cardio exercise is just another "should" in your life that you don't think you're living up to, you'll associate it with failure. Instead, look at your cardio schedule the same way you look at your therapy sessions or medication — as one of the tools to help you get better.
  3. Talk to your doctor or other mental health provider for guidance and support. Discuss concerns about a cardio program and how it fits into your overall treatment plan.
  4. Figure out what type of physical activities you're most likely to do, and think about when and how you'd be most likely to follow through. For example, would you be more likely to do some gardening in the evening or go for a jog in the pre-dawn hours? Go for a bike ride or play basketball with your kids after school? Do what you enjoy to help you stick with it.
  5. Give yourself credit for every step in the right direction, no matter how small. If you skip a cardio workout one day, that doesn't mean you should just quite because you can't maintain your cardio routine. Just try again the next day.
  6. Your mission doesn't have to be jogging for an hour five days a week. Think realistically about what you may be able to do. Tailor your plan to your own needs and abilities rather than trying to meet unrealistic guidelines that you're unlikely to meet.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Anger to Meltdown to Guilt to Self-Punishment: The ASD Dilemma


In working with adults on the autism spectrum over the years, I have noticed a prominent theme that I will refer to as AMGS, which stands for Anxiety - Meltdown - Guilt - Self-punishment. This is a cycle that many adults with Asperger's [or high functioning autism] have experienced since childhood. 
 
In a nutshell, the cycle starts with anxiety, which in turn leads to a meltdown, which then leads to the individual feeling guilty for acting-out his or her anxiety in the form of anger and/or rage, and ends up with the person punishing himself or herself due to repeated relationship failures that result from this destructive cycle.

Let's look at each of the steps in the cycle:

ANXIETY

Unfortunately, it is very common for adults with  ASD to experience more than their fair share of stress – and to make matters worse – many of these people also lack the ability to manage their stress effectively.



Individuals on the spectrum  are particularly prone to anxiety disorders as a consequence of the social demands made upon them. Any social contact can generate anxiety as to how to start, maintain, and end the activity or conversation. Changes to daily routine can exacerbate the anxiety, as can certain sensory experiences.

Many of my clients have reported feeling anxious for no apparent reason at all. Some of these individuals tend to take life too seriously, take others' behavior and comments to personally, and generally consider themselves to be “worrywarts” (i.e., chronically worrying that something bad will happen, or something good won't happen). 
 

MELTDOWN

As this anxiety, whatever its cause, builds up and builds up, eventually the dam breaks so to speak, usually over something very small. It's the straw that breaks the camel's back. This is called a meltdown.

Under severe enough stress, any normally calm and collected individual may become “out-of-control” – even to the point of violence. But Asperger's individuals experience repeated meltdowns in which tension mounts until there is an explosive release.

The adult version of a meltdown may include any of the following:
  • yelling and screaming
  • walking out on your spouse or partner
  • threatening others
  • talking to yourself
  • road rage
  • quitting your job
  • pacing back and forth
  • domestic abuse
  • crying
  • banging your head
  • angry outbursts that involve throwing or breaking objects 
  • aggressive behavior in which the individual reacts grossly out of proportion to the circumstance

The meltdown is not always directed at others. ASD adults who experience meltdowns are also at significantly increased risk of harming themselves, either with intentional injuries or suicide attempts. Those who are also addicted to drugs or alcohol have a greatest risk of harming themselves.

Those who experience meltdowns are often perceived by others as “always being angry.” Other complications may include job loss, school suspension, divorce, auto accidents, and even incarceration.

Rage may be a common reaction experienced when coming to terms with problems in employment, relationships, friendships and other areas in life affected by autism spectrum disorders. There is often an “on-off” quality to this rage, where the person may be calm minutes later after a meltdown, while people around are stunned and may feel hurt. 
 
Neurotypical spouses (i.e., people not on the autism spectrum) often struggle to understand these meltdowns, with resentment and bitterness often building up over time. In some cases, the individual on the spectrum may not acknowledge he has trouble with rage, and will blame others for provoking him. This can create a lot of conflict in a marriage.

There are hundreds of examples of how meltdowns can play out, but for the sake of this discussion, we will use the following example throughout:

The autistic individual has had a rough day at work, but was able to maintain his composure for the most part. But, when he arrives home, his wife makes a comment that hits him wrong for some reason, and he explodes. In other words, he takes his stressful day out on his wife, unintentionally!

GUILT

If this particular scenario plays itself out numerous times over the months or years, the autistic individual may come to believe that he is a victim of his emotions -- in this case, work-related stress expressed in the form of misplaced anger toward his wife and other family members. 
 
But, not only does he feel like a victim of circumstances, he also feels an element of guilt and remorse for hurting the people that he loves. He may have tried numerous times to avoid repeating this scenario, but to no avail, because he still has work-related stress, and has not figured out a way to deal with this stress in a functional, non-destructive way.

On the mild end of the continuum, the adult in meltdown may simply say some things that are overly critical and disrespectful, thus ultimately destroying the relationship with the other party (or parties) in many cases. On the more extreme end of the continuum, the adult in meltdown may attack others and their possessions, causing bodily injury and property damage. In both examples, the adult often later feels remorse, regret or embarrassment.
 

SELF-PUNISHMENT

As a result of repeated social failures (in our example, numerous negative encounters with his wife), the ASD individual may come to the conclusion that he doesn't deserve love, compassion, or a peaceful lifestyle. Thus, he may do destructive things to punish himself. For example, beating up on himself with negative self-talk, drinking or drug use, overeating, isolation, and possibly even separation or divorce.

The use of self-punishment to reduce feelings of guilt has been well documented in many studies. Guilt is suppose to be a "pro-social emotion," (i.e., functions to preserve important relationships). But, many Asperger's individuals who experience repeated exposure to the AMGS cycle have "unresolved guilt," which prevents them from enjoying life and thriving emotionally.

Self-punishment tends to serve a dual purpose: (1) it relieves internal feelings of guilt, and (2) it impacts how others perceive us.  By engaging in self-punishment or costly apologies, the individual demonstrates that he is willing to harm himself in some way to “even the score” with those he has wronged, thereby restoring his reputation as a "fair person."

ANXIETY (again)

And now we go full circle. The AMGS cycle can feel like being stuck in a perpetual nightmare if it continues long enough. Months – or even years – of experiencing a plethora of negative emotions (e.g., stress, frustration, anger, rage, guilt, etc.) can make relationships so problematic that the better option becomes living alone and avoiding human contact as much as possible. But, unfortunately, ALL of us are social creatures by nature. Thus, living a life of solitude carries its own element of anxiety. People need other people.

Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism  

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

 



 
COMMENTS:

•    Anonymous said… I have the meltdowns but not necessarily anxiety...
•    Anonymous said… I thought it was part of my Aspergers that I never feel guilt for anything, no matter how badly I behave.
•    Anonymous said… Meltdowns and guilt, I always seem to blame myself. I always say it must be great being other people because it is never their fault.
•    Anonymous said… My son has done this I have worried it could turn into self harming at some point if he forces himself not to act out his anger..by trying to conform... at some point that emotion has to exit him somewhere and I have worried he'll turn it inwards on himself
•    Anonymous said… So true! This is the best explanation I've seen yet.
•    Anonymous said… Stress, anxiety, meltdowns, but not only anger meltdowns, depression meltdowns too  😬 😬
•    Anonymous said… tell me about it! Especially when the meltdown's to do with sexual needs and horrid NT women getting the man you'd die for.
•    Anonymous said… This is definitely my son, how do we break the cycle though?
•    Anonymous said… This is so my daughter. How do we help them??
•    Anonymous said… VERY true!!!!!!
•    Anonymous said… Yes I live alone as much as anyone can with 7 dogs and 2 cats and I love it. At 60 I realise that just because they tell you you should be social, doesn't mean its true. Soon as other folks enter the scenario, the chaos starts.
•    Anonymous said… Yes, I relate to this rotation
•    Does anyone have any resources to share in how to break this cycle or give the person tools to self regulate?
•    Parenting Aspergers Children - Support Group RE: "How to break the cycle..." -- The core issue here is "anxiety." If that can be circumvented, then the cycle never starts. Here are some ideas: http://www.adultaspergerschat.com/.../anxiety-reduction...
•    This is a great break-down of the how/why this cycle repeats. Is there a follow-up or another article that deals more with helping break this cycle (for the individual with Aspergers or those that love them)? Great article, as understanding is half the battle.
•    Does anyone know who to brake this cycle? My 12 year is showing these symptoms and we are trying to tech him cope skills but is there a way to stop the cycle (rather then try to prevent it).
•    Have him write affirmations... and seriously consider speaking to an expert (and by expert I mean a child/adolescent psychiatrist who does talk therapy) about what you can model for him, what he can do, and maybe see if he has OCD as well. A part of this cycle, the anxiety and guilt, can be obsessive thoughts. Maybe a psychiatrist could help with that.
•    I had broken the cycle for a decade. One meltdown in 10 years and now I feel the cycle emerging again. My best friend thought HFA was all me just being absent minded and quirky. Now they are afraid and don't want to be friends. This hurts just as much as an adult as it did as child. I wasn't violent in my meltdown. Just shaking, crying and some yelling out, but not accusative at them specifically. Just makes me feel sad and awful.
 
Please post your comment below…

Why People on the Autism Spectrum Are So Anxious

“Mark: You say that anxiety is a prominent feature of ASD. What is the biological reason for this?”

*** Click on image to enlarge. ***

 

Biology is just one contributor. People with ASD are particularly vulnerable to anxiety due to a breakdown in circuitry related to extinguishing fear responses, specific neurotransmitter system defects, and the inability to make good social judgments throughout the lifespan.

People with certain personality traits are more likely to have anxiety – with or without ASD. For example, those who are perfectionists, easily frustrated, shy, lack self-esteem, or need to control everything often develop anxiety during childhood and adolescence, which progresses into adulthood.

Anxiety, in general, is more prominent today than a generation ago, for people on - and off - the autism spectrum. The newly recognized increase in anxiety disorders may be the result of poor diet (due to the abundance of fast food/junk food), social media, poor sleep habits, lowered stigma, and under-reporting in the past.

Also, there are a multitude of other sources that can be triggering one’s anxiety (e.g., traumatic past experience, medical conditions, job or personal relationship problems, genetics, environmental factors such as pollution, etc.).

Furthermore, some people worry more than others because they are more emotionally sensitive. Emotionally sensitive people tend to label a moderately bad situation as “devastating,” or may take neutral comments made by others as acute criticism.

Other reasons for anxiety in people with ASD include:

  • being rejected or teased by others, but not having the ability to mount an effective socially adaptive response
  • recognizing that others “get it” when they do not 
  • few - or no - coping strategies for soothing themselves and containing difficult emotions 
  • lack of empathy, which severely limits skills for autonomous social problem-solving 
  • limitations in their ability to grasp social cues and a highly rigid style of thinking, which act in concert to create repeated social errors
  • limitations in generalizing from one situation to another, which often contributes to repeating the same mistakes


More resources for couples affected by ASD: 

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Strategies to Address Low-Frustration Tolerance in Adults with ASD

Strategies designed to address the autistic adult's difficulty in handling day-to-day frustrations have been developed along with comparable interventions for emotional problems relating to anxiety and depression. 
 
Here are the “big three”:

1. Self-control techniques have been used in the treatment of both aggressive and anxious adults on the spectrum, and given the difficulty that some have controlling these emotions, it may be advisable to make this deficit a key target of interventions for these individuals.

These individuals develop better self-control over their emotions by learning to recognize the physical signs of anxiety or anger (e.g., heart pounding, muscle tension, etc.), by practicing positive self-talk (e.g., “I’m upset right now, but I need to stop and think before I open my mouth”), and the utilization of relaxation techniques (e.g., muscle relaxation, deep breathing, etc.) to reduce emotional arousal and delay an immediate response to a stressful situation. This will permit careful reflection (e.g., problem solving, cognitive restructuring, etc.) prior to taking action.

2. Problem-solving skills are common to cognitive-behavioral treatment targeting behavioral or emotional problems. Adults with ASD are helped to think of several possible solutions to a given problem, and to reflect on the positive and negative consequences of each in order to choose the strategy that will maximize positive consequences in both the short and long term. These individuals who get frustrated easily rely too heavily on aggressive solutions, whereas depressed adults often default to avoiding their difficulties.

Problem-solving skills can be used in either case to broaden the repertoire of constructive coping strategies and enhance decision-making. Decreasing depression and anxiety related to low-frustration tolerance would be beneficial in itself for the adult with ASD, but it may have the added benefit of reducing negative moods that render the individual vulnerable to engaging in explosive, emotional and reactive aggression.

3. Reframing techniques have been used to deal with aggression, anxiety, and depression. The central feature of reframing is to identify thoughts that increase anger, anxiety or sadness, challenge their accuracy, and replace them with interpretations that are more realistic and less harmful. 
 
With regard to anxiety, a person on the spectrum may learn to recognize that her anxiety levels rise when she assumes that all of her coworkers would “think she is stupid” if she made a few typos in a business letter. Instead, she may be encouraged to take a more realistic view, recognizing that everyone makes mistakes, and that when other people make mistakes, she does not usually think badly of them.

To reinforce this perspective, the adult might use some encouraging self-talk (e.g., “It’s alright to make mistakes from time to time …that’s how I learn to avoid making the same mistakes in the future”). Applied to address emotional difficulties, reframing techniques are often used to emphasize that there is more than one way to explain the actions of other people.

Autistic adults who are easily frustrated over things both big and small face a complicated array of social and emotional challenges, and it is imperative that they recognize the full extent of their difficulties and tailor interventions to match their complex needs. More research is urgently needed to create and evaluate treatment strategies that integrate cognitive-behavioral strategies for the therapeutic intervention of both behavioral and emotional problems.

In the meantime, therapists who work with these adults may broaden the focus of existing clinic-based interventions by flexibly applying techniques such as cognitive restructuring, problem-solving skills training and self-control skills, along the lines described above. 

Parents may play a key role in advocating for their older teens and adult children with low-frustration tolerance, seeking referrals where appropriate to mental health centers where individual therapy may be provided, as this may be a particularly appropriate context to tailor interventions to the specific needs of the adult on the autism spectrum.

The Angry ASD Spouse: Tips for Husbands on the Autism Spectrum

Many adults with ASD [High-Functioning Autism], by self-admission, have an anger-management problem. Also, in my years of counseling couples affected by ASD (usually in the cases where the husband has autism and the wife does not), I have received literally hundreds of emails from neurotypical [NT] wives describing horrific outbursts and meltdowns exhibited by their husbands on the spectrum.

Anger is triggered by people, events, or circumstances that make us feel vulnerable in some way. However, anger is a secondary emotion. In other words, your anger distracts you from other emotions that you are feeling. You can also think of anger as a surface emotion. In other words, it is the emotion that people see, but the anger exhibited is really a cover-up for a primary emotion. 
 
Anxiety, depression, grief, guilt, helplessness, powerlessness, shame, uselessness, and worthlessness are all very common primary emotions that hide behind anger. These are also very common emotions found in people on the autism spectrum – especially anxiety and depression.

You lash out in anger to prevent others from becoming aware of these vulnerabilities. But, once your anger has run its course and you return to your rational state of mind, you are left to deal with the repercussions of whatever situation triggered your anger. In the world of the autistic, sometimes these repercussions are grim and life-changing (e.g., job loss, separation, divorce, etc.).



What’s really behind your anger? Let’s take a look:

1. Anger hides anxiety: Our bodies interpret anger as a threat to survival, and as a result, will release adrenalin and nor-adrenalin to help us cope. These hormones act as an analgesic. In effect, anger makes us feel better in the short-term – it numbs our emotional and physical discomfort. But, this is not a healthy long-term solution. We, as adults on the autism spectrum, should not allow ourselves to get addicted to this kind of painkiller. If we do, then outbursts of anger may become a way of life. And sad to say, for too many of us, it has already become a way of life!

2. Anger hides emotional vulnerability: Some people with ASD use anger as a way of distancing themselves from their spouse (partner). Perhaps we feel safer if our spouse is held at arm’s length. Maybe we find it hard to express our true personal needs and desires. Learning to relate positively to your spouse, to allow yourself to be vulnerable to her – and to trust her to respect your feelings – are key steps you can take to a healthier relationship.
 

3. Anger hides grief and depression: Some people on the spectrum respond to grief and/or depression by getting angry. This can be our way of coping with the pain we are feeling. We yell and lash-out verbally instead of seeking comfort, or instead of offering comfort if our anger is on behalf of someone else.

4. Anger hides hurt: Admitting that we feel hurt is too much for some of us. Better to explode in rage than to show we care or that we are upset by whatever has happened. Hurt hides behind anger when you feel unloved, rejected, or criticized (remember the high school days and all the teasing, harassment, and bullying?).  If we think our anger is hiding hurt, we should focus on learning to love and accept ourselves.

5. Anger hides low self-esteem: An guy on the autism spectrum who has been experiencing anger-control issues for many years may admit (to himself if not to others) that he sometimes struggles with self-esteem issues. He may have internal dialogues that revolve around themes such as, “Any minute now, somebody will see that I’m useless/stupid/a complete fraud/not good enough/etc.” These internal dialogues can occur even in someone who leads an outwardly successful life. Sometimes those dialogues are what drives the person to achieve; anger for him is an indication of the stress he experiences as a result of the gap between his internal and external life.

6. Anger hides powerlessness: If we go through life feeling weak, hopeless, helpless, overlooked or undervalued, anger often hides these feelings of powerlessness.

7. Anger hides fear: The most common feeling that hides behind anger is fear. But, unless we are developing a habit of “mindfulness” (i.e., making ourselves aware of our emotions as they arise), it can be difficult to identify the emotions lurking beneath our anger. Our best indication of what those emotions may be is to consider how we feel about ourselves at the times when we are not feeling angry.

We should find ways to ask for what we want (or don’t want) instead of acting-out in anger and rage. Some of us have sought assertiveness training and/or worked with a counselor or psychotherapist to help us learn to appreciate our own worth and manage our anger. Maybe you should consider following our lead.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

==> Skype Counseling for Struggling Couples Affected by Asperger's and HFA


Comments:

•    I hide most of my anger within usually until i am alone then I explode like a nuke , this article helps me a lot Thanks.
•    I'm the spouse that's experienced many angry outbursts and other demonstrations of my husbands anger. I think this article does a great job illustrating the effects of Anger on the Person who's angry, their marriage, & their family life. Very insightful ~ I've already referred friends & family to this page. Emotional Safety is critical to healing.
•    Emotions are irrational and therefore illogical. I have no need for emotions
•    Sure emotions can be secondary, and the seven points are relevant. However, it seems a bit sought to say that "anger is a secondary emotion" and a "surface emotion", whereas "anxiety is a primary emotion".  Anger is the "Fight" option of the "Fight/Flight" response; the brain's reflective reaction to perceived threatening situations. Anxiety is the "Flight" option. There are sure situations where anger covers up different emotions eg. anxiety, but there are also likely situations where other emotions cover anger, eg anxiety where the underlying emotion is anger.  That is highly likely the case, since anger is one of the least socially acceptable emotions, and people tend to deny/cover unacceptable emotions when they are able to.
•    Once I was diagnosed, I made the decision to change direction in business (no more deadlines — way too stressful) and to refuse to accept stress from anyone else. That was 15 years ago and I rarely experience anger, anxiety or other forms of stress. As an added benefit, it's helped me to become a very effective negotiator. :)
•    I have learned to express myself and then I get angry when the person isn't understanding or taking what I say serious.

Post your comment below…

Reducing Work-Related Anxiety: Tips for Aspies

Here are 6 hacks to help reduce your stress throughout the work week:

1. Do something physical after work. Instead of walking in the door and crashing on the coach, give your body some attention in the form of exercise, or simply spend some time with friends or family. If you just work, then crash, then work again, then crash again, you are over-valuing your job – which will cause you to get lost in your own stressful thoughts and daily pressures. Instead, replace the work anxiety memories with new, better memories through good social contacts and exercise (note: combine the two by going to the gym with a friend).



2. Drink less coffee: If you start your day with a habitual cup of coffee – and then drink more once you get to work – know that this will raise your anxiety level. While a couple cups of coffee will increase energy level, it will also mimic stress symptoms (e.g., shakiness, racing heart, upset stomach, etc.).

3. Get up and move around. Go to the bathroom and stretch. Get a drink at the water fountain. Take a short walk on your lunch break. Anything to avoid sitting in one spot for too long. When we sit for lengthy periods of time, our breathing becomes shallow, which raises stress-levels.

4. Learn to turn your tasks into challenges for yourself. A lot of jobs consist of boring, menial labor. But you can add some spice to your life by timing yourself to see how quickly you can complete a particular task - or see how many tasks you can complete in a set time. In other words, turn your work into a game. This will give you the opportunity to accomplish more – and make your job a bit more pleasant.

5. Stop over-analyzing your anxiety. Oftentimes, diagnosing what exactly is getting you stressed creates even more stress. A moderate amount of stress is normal and to be expected. Some jobs are naturally stressful. Thus, paying extra attention to your stress-level is not unhelpful.

6. Take frequent mental breaks. Even if it’s just for a minute, meditate, take deep breaths, drop your shoulders and release any tension, or visualize a peaceful place that you experienced at some point (e.g., the beach). These little tactics help your brain to wind down a bit, which in turn reduces anxiety.

Coping with Social Anxiety Disorder

 
 
 

Why Your Spouse on the Autism Spectrum is Depressed


"Why is my husband [Asperger's] depressed all the time? Is depression part of the disorder? He doesn't talk much nowadays and seems to have very little quality of life in general. What can be done to help him? We haven't been getting along well for quite a while."

This is not surprising - and is a very common occurrence with people on the autism spectrum. My experience has been that these ASD individuals who are depressed a lot have been under pervasive, chronic stress over a long period of time.

Depression very rarely causes anxiety, but prolonged anxiety always causes depression. It's physically and emotionally draining to be under the influence of stress hormones 365 days-a-year ... a steady drip-drip-drip of adrenaline, noradrenalin, cortisol, Cortizone - all the stress chemicals wears-and-tears on them until it negatively affects their mood in the form of depression.

Feeling like a failure in the marriage is another major contributor to depression in males on the autism spectrum. They really want to please their wife (seriously, they do) but haven't figured out how to do this on a consistent basis. Being on the receiving end of what feels to him like chronic complaints about his "lack" slowly sucks a lot of self-esteem out of him, which reinforces his negative belief that he is indeed a social failure.

So, to work on the depression would be simply treating a symptom. It would be much better to treat the cause - which is anxiety! And the main cause of anxiety is the ASD individual's faulty belief system - and associated negative self-talk. 

So in treating people with depression, I’m looking at the thinking errors they have about themselves (and the world in general), along with the destructive  inner-monologue and commentary those thinking errors generate, AND the resultant self-fulfilling prophesies that often occur (i.e., believing in something negative for so long that it eventually becomes a reality).

The cycle often looks similar to this:
  • "I never get it right. So, I'm in a constant state of either trying harder or simply giving up"  [thinking error].
  •  "Trying harder and/or giving up doesn't fix my problems [anxiety], and is wearing me out" [depression].
  • "Things will just get worse from here on, I guess" [setting up a self-fulfilling prophesy].

On a related note, your Asperger's husband would benefit greatly from our ongoing men's group (diagnosed with ASD, or otherwise). In these groups, we take a deep dive into the issues of anxiety, depression, thinking errors, social skills, building self-esteem, and much more.

Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives

==> ASD Men's MasterClass: Social-Skills Training and Emotional-Literacy Development

==> Videos to help you understand your partner on the autism spectrum...

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