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Stinking Thinking in People with ASD



People with Asperger’ and High-Functioning Autism have a tendency to think poorly of themselves. We call this stinking thinking.

Here are some common examples people on the autism spectrum may face that lead to toxic, sticking thinking, followed by its replacement thought to help you shift your focus:

1.    Stinking Thinking: You’re a failure.

---Replacement Thought: You’re a person who sometimes fails. And that's okay. You’ll try again.

2.    Stinking Thinking: You really need to be dependent on someone stronger than yourself. Your happiness depends on others.

---Replacement Thought: You’re the one who ultimately decides what's best for you. Reliance on others is more like a habit and a state of mind that can be corrected with practice.

3.    Stinking Thinking: You should be liked and approved of by almost everyone.

---Replacement Thought: Nobody is liked by everyone. That’s naïve.

4.    Stinking Thinking: You’re a product of your past. You can't change anything. You’ve always been this way.

---Replacement Thought: Things have happened in the past that influenced your behavior, but you can learn to modify how you think and react. People can - and do - change.

5.    Stinking Thinking: You’re stupid and don't deserve good things in life.

---Replacement Thought: What you did may have been stupid, but you can forgive yourself and try again.

6.    Stinking Thinking: It's easier to avoid this problem than to face it.

---Replacement Thought: In the long run, it's better to face this problem and accept your role in it. Then there can be a resolution and improved relationships.

7.    Stinking Thinking: Things always go wrong for me.

---Replacement Thought: You must accept that things will go wrong sometimes – and that's not a big problem in most cases.

8.    Stinking Thinking: This problem shouldn't have happened. You’re to be blamed.

---Replacement Thought: You might very well be at fault, but you’re not to be blamed, because we all make mistakes and can improve based on the lesson learned.

9.    Stinking Thinking: To be worthy and have high self-esteem, you have to be competent and victorious in all respects.

---Replacement Thought: You can't expect to be perfect in every way – it's okay to fail, and then learn from those failures.

==> Living with an Aspergers Partner: Help for Struggling Couples

==> Skype Counseling for Struggling Couples Affected by Asperger's and HFA
 
COMMENTS:

•    average guy …I feel a sense of failure in my life more so than success.What I have to learn is that life offers a balance between the two views.
•    Unknown …This society is structured in such a way that most of us who have the potential to accomplish big things never find the opportunity to do so... being marginalized from as far back as we can remember, shunned for being different from "the norm", viewed as controversial, etc... barely tolerated,rarely accepted and almost never truly wanted/welcome in any circle. We know that we have the raw potential to accomplish far more than our intolerant, elitist society will allow of us. So when we stop and think about how little we have done or been able to do compared to the potential we've always had, yeah, it is real easy to look down on ourselves in light of that. Take me for instance, I missed 2 questions on a MENSA exam when I was 17 yrs. old... and my biggest accomplishment is that I am still alive and not in a jail or other institution, presently. That's hardly anything to be proud of. All this potential and I've amounted to essentially jack shit.
•    mimi …I get where you're coming from.( this is "mimi"'s fiancée.) all your life,you've been considered weird,outcasted from the rest for being different,even being blamed for the way you are,and finally when you get diagnosed when you're 25,you're still treated the same way,and Even though you graduated #18 in a class of 200+,your biggest accomplishment in 54 years is getting your driver's license.Like,the rest of the majority of the world Doesn't get theirs? yeah,my fiancee doesn't have hers,but she has a reason-she's legally blind. and I never found anyone to love me as I am until I found my fiancée at 47 and that's because I love her the way she is,wheelchair,legally blind,male-to-female transgender and all.

 
 

The Pessimistic Person with ASD: How to Change a Self-Destructive Attitude

Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic. 

Unfortunately, too many adults on the autism spectrum are perennial pessimists with a negative attitude (e.g., “nobody understands me” … "good things don't last" … "my future looks rather depressing"). 
 
These individuals often feel unappreciated, underpaid, cheated, mistreated and misunderstood. They may chronically complain and criticize, and they may blame their failures and defeats on others, posing as victims of a heartless “neurotypical” world.

If this sounds like you – and you would like to break-out of this destructive way of thinking and viewing the world – then consider the tips below:

1. Be open to humor. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.

2. Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.

3. Follow a healthy lifestyle. Exercise at least three times a week to positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind and body. And learn to manage stress.
 
==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

4. Identify areas to change. If you want to become more optimistic and engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you typically think negatively about, whether it's work, your daily commute or a relationship, for example. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.

5. Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you.


6. Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.

7. Positive thinking doesn't mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life's less pleasant situations – it simply means that you approach the unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

8. Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head every day. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information. If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. Here are some examples of negative self-talk and how you can apply a positive spin to them:
  • TURN:  I've never done it before … INTO: It's an opportunity to learn something new.
  • TURN: I don't have the resources … INTO: Necessity is the mother of invention.
  • TURN: I'm not going to get any better at this … INTO: I'll give it another try.
  • TURN: I'm too uninspired to get this done … INTO: I wasn't able to fit it into my schedule but can re-examine some priorities.
  • TURN: It's too complicated … INTO: I'll tackle it from a different angle.
  • TURN: It's too radical a change … INTO: Let's take a chance.
  • TURN: I've never done it before … INTO: It's an opportunity to learn something new.
  • TURN: No one bothers to communicate with me … INTO: I'll see if I can open the channels of communication.
  • TURN: There's no way it will work … INTO: I can try to make it work.
 
9. Identify negative thinking. Not sure if your self-talk is positive or negative? Here are some common forms of negative self-talk: 
  • Catastrophizing: You automatically anticipate the worst. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.
  • Filtering: You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter-out all of the positive ones. For example, say you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. But you forgot one minor step. That evening, you focus only on your oversight and forget about the compliments you received.
  • Personalizing: When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
  • Polarizing: You see things only as either good or bad, black or white. There is no middle ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or that you're a total failure.

10. Know that there will be great health benefits from changing your attitude. Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:
  • Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress
  • Better psychological and physical well-being
  • Greater resistance to the common cold
  • Increased life span
  • Lower levels of distress
  • Lower rates of depression
  • Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease

If you tend to have a negative outlook, don't expect to become an optimist overnight. But with practice, eventually your self-talk will contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You may also become less critical of the world around you.
 
 


ASD [Level 1]: Disability or Unique Ability?

Any increasing number of men and women with ASD Level 1 [Aspergers, High-Functioning Autism] are refusing to be classified as individuals with a disability, syndrome or disorder. They claim that ASD is not a disorder, but a “different way of thinking.” 
 
Many claim that a “cure” for the condition would destroy the original personality of the individual in a misguided attempt to replace them with a “neurotypical” (i.e., a person not on the spectrum).

The “different way of thinking” perspective supports the model of ASD that says that it is a fundamental part of who the autistic individual is – and that ASD is something that can’t be separated from the individual. As a result, some “different way of thinking” believers prefer to be referred to as “autistic people” instead of “people with autism,” because “people WITH autism” implies that it is something that can be removed from the individual.

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

ASD individuals with this perspective oppose the idea of a cure, because they see it as destroying the original personality of the individual, forcing them to imitate neurotypical people (which they believe is unnatural to the “autistic”), simply to make mainstream society feel less threatened by the presence of men and women who are unique.

“Different way of thinking” believers assert that the “quirks” of ASD individuals should be tolerated as the differences of any minority group should be tolerated. When there is discussion about visions for a future where the condition has been eliminated, “different way of thinking” believers usually see this as an attempt to end of their culture and way of being.

“Different way of thinking” believers certainly would enjoy having fewer difficulties in life, and they find some aspects of ASD painful at times (e.g., sensory issues), but they don’t want to have to sacrifice their basic identities in order to make life easier. “Different way of thinking” believers strongly desire society to become more tolerant and accommodating instead of searching for a cure. These unique individuals:
  • think that treatments should focus on giving them the means to overcome the challenges associated by ASD rather than curing it
  • support programs that respect the individuality of the autistic
  • prefer the word "education" over "treatment"
  • try to “teach” other ASD individuals rather than “change” them
  • are in favor of helping make the lives of people on the spectrum easier

 
The “different way of thinking” perspective is related to the controversy of the movement. Some moms and dads see ASD as something that gives their sons and daughters great difficulty in life, and therefore see is as a true  “disorder.” Adults with this perspective believe that a cure for ASD is in their kid’s best interest, because they see a cure as something that will alleviate suffering. This is certainly understandable, but at a different level, insulting.

Many researchers and doctors have the goal of eliminating high-functioning autism completely someday; they want there to be a future with no ASD. But, many autistic men and women see the condition as a natural human variation and not a “disorder,” thus they are opposed to attempts to eliminate it. In particular, there is opposition to prenatal genetic testing of ASD in unborn fetuses, which some believe might be possible in the future if autism is genetic. 
 
Many scientists believe there will be a prenatal test for High-Functioning Autism someday. Our culture has started to debate the ethics involved in the possible elimination of a genotype that has both unique challenges and abilities, which may be seen as messing with nature in general – and natural selection in particular.

Many individuals on the spectrum believe that society has an opinion about ASD that is highly offensive. This opinion compares it to a “disease.” Thus, one of the goals of “pro-autisitc” adults is to expose and challenge those claims they find distasteful. Similarly, Autistic rights activists reject terming the reported increase in theASD population as an “epidemic” since the word epidemic implies that it is a disease.
 

If you are an autistic man or woman, and you're tired of hearing about all the "deficits" associated with the condition – join the club! The world needs to know that there are many more positives associated with it than negatives. If it is “cured” someday – then there go all the positives out the window. These positives are well worth celebrating. Here are just a few:

1. How often do neurotypical individuals fail to notice what's in front of their eyes because they're distracted by social cues and random small talk? Individuals with High-Functioning Autism truly attend to the sensory input that surrounds them. Many have achieved the ideal of mindfulness.

2. How often do neurotypical individuals forget directions, or fail to take note of colors, names, and other details? Adults on the spectrum are usually more tuned-in to details. They may have a much better memory than their neurotypical friends for critical details.

3. If you've ever joined a group or club to “fit in,” you know how hard it is to be true to yourself. But for individuals with the condition, social expectations are often irrelevant. Interest and passion are what really matters – not meeting other’s expectations.

4. Individuals on the spectrum tend to be less concerned with outward appearance than their neurotypical friends. As a result, they worry less about brand names, hairstyles and other expensive - but unimportant - externals than most adults do.

5. We all claim to value the truth, but few of us are truly truthful. But to most ASD men and women, the truth is the truth. A good word from an autistic is the real deal.

6. Most ASD individuals don't play head games, and they assume their partners/spouses won't either. That’s a refreshing change from the emotional roller coaster that damages many neurotypical relationships.

7. Who's Richer? Smarter? More talented? Prettier? For ASD individuals, these distinctions hold much less importance than for neurotypicals. Autistics often see through such surface appearances to discover the real person underneath.
 

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

 


Comments:


•    Anonymous …On a bbc documentary called living with autism (an excellent programme btw) Simon baron Cohen has a brilliant explanation for the autism spectrum and how most of the world population is on it somewhere. This explains very well why some adults who are aspergers do not get a diagnosis either becuase they are not considered to be affected badly enough or becuase their issues are assigned to something else. Why in my case my issues were put down to 'well every has this or that experience or problem'. True moreso now I have seen prof. SBCs explanation. He draws a line on a piece of paper and on one side puts zero and the other 50. He then puts 25 in the middle. He then explains most people have 'some' ASD characteristics from zero to 25. Then some have 26 and over. The ones under 25 may be considered normal whilst over 25 may be seen to be ASD. But he then added that even though someone may clearly be ASD, the professional may still decide to not diagnose IF in their view the ASD is not impacting severely enough to necessitate the label. I found it re-assuring to find that most of us have some characteristics found in someone ASD becuase of this confusion some professionals were having over diagnosing becuase other people had similar issues who were not ASD, what I did find a bit of a problem is that clinicians still get to decide who to give or not give a label to. Not becuase I label is a good or bad thing but simply becuase the clinician decides if the person with ASD is suffering enough. I do not think it should be the decision of a clinician to decide what constitutes a good or bad quality of life for someone with an ASD. The only person who knows is the person themselves and if they've gone to be assessed for an ASD then clearly there is an issue! The label is regarded by some as unhelpful. Unhelpful to whom? Why unhelpful? If someone has ASD symptoms and are ASD then the label applies. End of. It is preposterous to infer that by giving a label to it you're damning the person with ASD. How so. When you consider it is a developmental disorder the damage for the want of a better dictum is done before or at birth. So how exactly does giving a label to that damn someone? It is a label that defines what is already there you muppets. So help and support can then be sought for the symptoms by the sufferer. IMO the only reason for not giving a label is to keep numbers down and funds are then not needed for those people becuase they are not 'officially' in need becuase they are not 'officially' ASD. To suggest someone with an ASD will be harmed further with a label is rubbish. And it insults our superior intellect. Since being diagnosed with aspergers I have been able to grow. To understand better my symptoms and embrace my qualities that previously actually had been misdiagnosed as personality disordered etc. Really helpful right!? Misdaignosing me added years of torture and misery onto me and my family. Since the (correct) label was given to me I have become empowered. Sadly there is little support for me still yet I have been able to get some extra support becuase of the label so not damned but some help and I have been able vto help lyself and others have gained a better understanding of my condition too so tolerance and support all round. So again I ask, why exactly is is a problem for me to have a label exactly? The ONLY issue I see is being given the WRONG label not being given the correct accurate one. For someone with an ASD labels are brilliant! For a profession that deals with labels all the time and thinking about it we all use labels all the time to say that 'labels aren't helpful', are you kidding me?!? Take it from a 50 year old asperger's person aka sufferer, this label is definitely helpful to me and those in my life. For the help and support for my issues and for the qualities I now can finally embrace. That were mis-labelled by these same clinicians as personality disorder and character flaws. More (accurate) diagnosing and labelling please not less.


•    Anonymous …I have Asperger's and have a lot of work to do to improve my social skills and interaction. I find that having been a member of a nas (national autistic society) group, the other Aspie's in the group are affected very differently to myself. Unfortunately; attending the group didn't help me to make progress in any way; i felt I didn't really fit in. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 22. I'm now 34 and have an awful lot of progress to make. Any Aspie who suffers with depression; i too; understand how it feels. I have suffered with depression for many years since my Asperger's diagnosis. It can be very hard at times and I guess life is not always easy for anyone. I hope with time that things will get better and that I will move on and get back to being my usual happy self. Hopefully I can vastly improve my independent living skills too: and reach my goals in life. And get the right help to improve my mental health too.

Chronic, Invasive Thinking-Patterns in People on the Autism Spectrum

☹️==> Audio Clip: Chronic, Invasive Thinking-Patterns in People on the Autism Spectrum

What I hear from a lot from clients with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism: "I just want the thoughts to stop!"

In working with clients on the autism spectrum, what I see pretty much 100% of the time is the individual’s tendency to chronically get lost in thought - usually stressful thoughts. The autistic brain is very rarely paying attention to what’s going on in the present moment.

Oftentimes, they are either (a) ruminating about a past stressful event, or (b) worrying about the potentiality of a future stressful event, or (c) they are experiencing stress in the present moment - the event that’s occurring now.

The only reprieve they get from being lost in this rabbit hole of random stressful thinking is to get lost mentally in their special interest. They are rarely at peace in the present moment unless the present moment involves their mental engagement with a preferred activity.

We all have random unwanted thoughts that show up in our head without permission - automatic thoughts. But, I have a ton of anecdotal evidence that the autistic brain seems to run on auto-pilot without the user’s permission pretty much 24 seven. 

We don’t have to beat our heart, it beats without us putting forth any effort. In the same way, the autistic brain thinks without the individual putting any effort toward the thinking. In other words, the autistic individual is no longer in charge of his thoughts, rather his thoughts are in charge of him. He is literally a prisoner of chronic intrusive thinking patterns. 

35 Ways to Improve Your Mood: Tips for Asperger’s Adults

The way we think and react to a situation determines how much happiness and success we will find in our lives. For example, the pessimistic person who is watching his business go bankrupt due to the current economic slump will view his dilemma as “the end of the world.” Conversely, for the optimistic person, the same scenario would be “an opportunity to start something new and different” in accordance to his or her choice.

Attitudes are organized collections of thoughts about a particular issue. To be optimistic, you need to eliminate certain pessimistic thinking patterns. These include the four major types of negative thinking:
  • Polarizing: a type of black-and-white thinking that defines failure as any result short of perfection.
  • Personalizing: automatically blaming yourself every time something bad happens.
  • Filtering: psychologically screening out the encouraging aspects of complex scenarios.
  • Catastrophizing: expecting the worst possible outcome in any situation.

How adults with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism can improve their mood significantly:
 
1. Be patient with yourself as you begin the journey of moving from pessimism to optimism. It takes some time to accomplish this shift. There’s no hurry.

2. Beware of the fact that pessimistic people attract other pessimists. Those who live in a world of “doom and gloom” alienate others, thus they have no choice but to look for other pessimistic people to associate with. They then feed off one another and get locked in a clique of cynics.

3. Call a friend. Pick up the phone and call someone. Don't email …its much less personal. You'll have a laugh and the endorphins will start flowing again.

4. Do some deep breathing. Close your eyes and take slow breaths in through your nose as deeply as you can. Hold for a few seconds. Release slowly through your mouth. Repeat 5 times.

5. Donate money to a worthy cause. There are so many worthwhile organizations to which you can donate money to. Pick a cause that has a personal connection, make an easy annual limit that is within your budget, and then pledge to make that donation. Most of these are tax-deductible.

6. Employing positive self-talk will improve your outlook. When your state of mind is generally positive, you're able to handle everyday stress in a more constructive way. That ability may contribute to the widely observed health benefits of optimistic thinking. Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a destructive thought enters your head, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you.

7. Exercise at least three times a week to positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind, body and soul.

8. Failure to do what you want to do and what makes you happy causes physical and mental stress. So, the lesson is simple: Do what makes you happy (as long as it isn’t harmful to you or others).

9. Find a cool hobby. Pull out your video camera, your oil paints, or your clay. Get creative again. Do you play guitar? Do you like to write? Scrapbook? Getting that creative spark going may be just the ticket to feeling optimistic again.

10. Find a quiet place and about 10 minutes all to yourself at the beginning or end of the day. Turn off your cell phone and avoid all interruptions. Just sit by yourself and listen to your breathing. Observe your thoughts (but try not to judge them during this quiet time).



11. Forgive yourself. Write down one thing you think you did "wrong" in the past, or one way in which you think you are falling short, and let it go – completely. If you aren't convinced that you should be forgiven for the alleged transgression, then pick an easier item for self-forgiveness.

12. Get lost in a good book. Go to the library or bookstore and drift into the experience (e.g., the hush, the shuffling feet, the soft sounds, etc.). Emerge hours later feeling a little lighter.

13. Get organized. Sometimes clutter can make one feel overwhelmed and mildly depressed. If you are at the office, use your lunch hour to tackle some of the piles and stuff crammed in your desk drawers. At home, tackle on one room or space at a time. Getting things in their proper place can ease a lot of your anxiety.

14. Get out in the sun. Go outside or stand beside a bright window and bask in the warming rays for a few minutes. Sunlight ups the level of vitamin D in your body, which in turn keeps serotonin high.

15. Give an honest, heart-felt compliment to someone deserving of it. 

16. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less anxious.

17. Have a good cry. If you have suffered a loss or are otherwise grieving, it may be helpful to let the tears flow. You may not immediately feel a great deal happier, but in the long term, the sadness will not be so bottled up. 

18. If you choose to allow certain events or circumstances in life to dictate your mood, you are giving away your personal power to whatever triggered your pessimistic attitude.

19. If you want to become more positive, first identify areas of your life that you typically think negatively about (e.g., work, your daily commute, a relationship, etc.).You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.

20. It’s always possible to change a pessimistic attitude, but it won’t be easy. If you lived your life seeing only dark colors, you can’t turn this around in a day. However, by taking small and consistent steps, you will gradually become a happier individual.

21. Know that positive thinking is not enough. If you can’t find the cause of your pessimistic attitude, you will only cover this attitude with positive words. So, find the cause of it, and this will allow you to change your pessimistic attitude. 

22. Learn to focus on the here and now, and do all you can to make the most of what you have.

23. Listen to your favorite upbeat song and you’ll be happier in seconds. Music has a powerful influence over state of mind. Music activates the part of your brain that’s hardwired for pleasure. 

24. Make sure the people in your life are positive, supportive individuals that you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Pessimistic people will increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in a healthy way.

25. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking about. If you find that your thoughts are mainly pessimistic, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.

26. Practicing optimism every day. If you tend to have a pessimistic outlook, don't expect to become an optimist overnight. But with practice, eventually your self-talk will contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You may also become less critical of the world around you. Plus, when you share your optimism, both you and those around you enjoy an emotional boost.

27. Say to you yourself that you are successful and you are having a great day. Repeat this 10 to 15 times to get the point across to your mind. You can convince your mind of anything if you say it over and over again.

28. Start a blog. A blog will give you an outlet for your feelings. And it may be even better for triggering happiness, because people can leave you positive comments.

29. Start a journal. It can be any kind of writing in which you relate your thoughts of the day. Sometimes just getting it out releases some of the negative energy. 

30. To loosen the grip of a pessimistic attitude, become aware of your complaining, stop it in its tracks, and immediately look for something positive to say. It’s just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one.

31. Try to understand what causes your pessimistic attitude. It might be that you live with a person who constantly ruins your mood, or it may have something to do with your past. Maybe something happened to you that made you deeply upset, and you have not totally recovered from that incident. Understand that the incident is long gone, and you should not live in the shadow of it. Your past can only have influence on your present if you let it. Remember, your true power is in the present moment.

32. Volunteer somewhere. You can find a couple hours a month to make a big difference in a few peoples' lives. Soup kitchens always need extra hands. Religious organizations love volunteers to help with many events throughout the year. What about the local Humane Society? Local communities also have events that can use both volunteers. Check the local Chamber of Commerce website.

33. When you first awake in the morning, sit up in bed, take a big stretch, put a smile on my face, and then assert, “Today I am going to have a great day.”

34. Write to a family member. Choose someone with whom you haven't corresponded in a while and tell them how much you appreciate their being a part of your life, or tell them a joke – whatever cheers you up.

35. You’re not at the mercy of different kinds of pessimistic feelings that visit you when you least expect. You can control how you feel.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

55 Ways to Beat Depression: Tips for Adults with Aspergers and HFA

Many, if not most, adults with Aspergers (or High Functioning Autism) will experience some significant bouts of depression from time to time. So if that has happened to you – you’re not alone. Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to do what you need to feel better.

But while overcoming bouts of depression isn’t quick or easy, it’s far from impossible. You can’t beat it through sheer willpower, but you do have some control—even if your depression is severe and stubbornly persistent.

You can make a huge dent in your depression with simple lifestyle changes (e.g., exercising every day, avoiding the urge to isolate, challenging the negative voices in your head, eating healthy food instead of the junk you crave, carving out time for rest and relaxation, etc.). Feeling better takes time, but you can get there if you make positive choices for yourself each day and draw on the support of others.



Recovering from depression requires action. But taking action when you’re depressed is hard. In fact, just thinking about the things you should do to feel better (e.g., going for a walk, spending time with friends, etc.) can be exhausting. It’s the Catch-22 of depression recovery. The things that help the most are the things that are most difficult to do. But there’s a difference between difficult and impossible.

For all you Aspies out there, below are some very important tips for dealing with – and ridding yourself of – depression. Pick one or more (preferably several) of these techniques. Some will work – others won’t. So you can expect a short trial-and-error period until you find the right combination of techniques that work for you.

Let's go...

1. Accompany someone to the movies, a concert, or a small get-together.

2. Aim for 8 hours of sleep. Depression typically involves sleep problems. Whether you’re sleeping too little or too much, your mood suffers. Get on a better sleep schedule by learning healthy sleep habits.

3. Allow yourself to be less than perfect. Many depressed people are perfectionists, holding themselves to impossibly high standards and then beating themselves up when they fail to meet them. Battle this source of self-imposed stress by challenging your negative ways of thinking.

4. Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly.

5. Avoid all-or-nothing thinking: Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground (“If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”)

6. Avoid diminishing the positive: Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“She said she had a good time on our date, but I think she was just being nice.”)

7. Avoid emotional reasoning: Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel like such a loser. I really am no good!”)

8. Avoid jumping to conclusions: Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader (“He must think I’m pathetic.”) or a fortune teller (“I’ll be stuck in this dead end job forever.”)

9. Avoid labeling: Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”)

10. Avoid overgeneralization: Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever (“I can’t do anything right.”)

11. Avoid 'shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’: Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do, and beating yourself up if you don’t live up to your rules.

12. Avoid the mental filter: Ignoring positive events and focusing on the negative. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

13. Boost your B vitamins. Deficiencies in B vitamins such as folic acid and B-12 can trigger depression. To get more, take a B-complex vitamin supplement or eat more citrus fruit, leafy greens, beans, chicken, and eggs.

14. Call or email an old friend.

15. Challenge negative thinking. Depression puts a negative spin on everything, including the way you see yourself, the situations you encounter, and your expectations for the future. But you can’t break out of this pessimistic mind frame by “just thinking positive.” Happy thoughts or wishful thinking won’t cut it. Rather, the trick is to replace negative thoughts with more balanced thoughts.

16. Confide in a counselor, therapist, or clergy member.

17. Consider taking a chromium supplement. Some depression studies show that chromium picolinate reduces carbohydrate cravings, eases mood swings, and boosts energy. Supplementing with chromium picolinate is especially effective for people who tend to overeat and oversleep when depressed.

18. Cultivate supportive relationships. Getting the support you need plays a big role in lifting the fog of depression and keeping it away. On your own, it can be difficult to maintain perspective and sustain the effort required to beat depression. But the very nature of depression makes it difficult to reach out for help. However, isolation and loneliness make depression even worse, so maintaining your close relationships and social activities are important. The thought of reaching out to even close family members and friends can seem overwhelming. You may feel ashamed, too exhausted to talk, or guilty for neglecting the relationship. Remind yourself that this is the depression talking. You loved ones care about you and want to help.

19. Do something spontaneous.

20. Do things you enjoy (or used to). While you can’t force yourself to have fun or experience pleasure, you can choose to do things that you used to enjoy. Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like. Express yourself creatively through music, art, or writing. Go out with friends. Take a day trip to a museum, the mountains, or the ballpark. Push yourself to do things, even when you don’t feel like it. You might be surprised at how much better you feel once you’re out in the world. Even if your depression doesn’t lift immediately, you’ll gradually feel more upbeat and energetic as you make time for fun activities.

21. Don’t skip meals. Going too long between meals can make you feel irritable and tired, so aim to eat something at least every 3-4 hours.

22. Eat a healthy, mood-boosting diet. What you eat has a direct impact on the way you feel. Aim for a balanced diet of protein, complex carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables.

23. Expose yourself to a little sunlight every day. Lack of sunlight can make depression worse. Make sure you’re getting enough. Take a short walk outdoors, have your coffee outside, enjoy an al fresco meal, people-watch on a park bench, or sit out in the garden.

24. Focus on complex carbohydrates. Foods such as baked potatoes, whole-wheat pasta, brown rice, oatmeal, whole grain breads, and bananas can boost serotonin levels without a crash.

25. Get regular exercise. When you’re depressed, exercising may be the last thing you feel like doing. But exercise is a powerful tool for dealing with depression. In fact, studies show that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressant medication at increasing energy levels and decreasing feelings of fatigue. Scientists haven’t figured out exactly why exercise is such a potent antidepressant, but evidence suggests that physical activity triggers new cell growth in the brain, increases mood-enhancing neurotransmitters and endorphins, reduces stress, and relieves muscle tension—all things that can have a positive effect on depression.

26. Go for a walk with a workout buddy.

27. Have lunch or coffee with a friend.

28. Help someone else by volunteering.

29. Join a support group for depression. Being with others who are dealing with depression can go a long way in reducing your sense of isolation. You can also encourage each other, give and receive advice on how to cope, and share your experiences.

30. Keep a “negative thought log." Whenever you experience a negative thought, jot down the thought and what triggered it in a notebook. Review your log when you’re in a good mood. Consider if the negativity was truly warranted. Ask yourself if there’s another way to view the situation. For example, let’s say your boyfriend was short with you and you automatically assumed that the relationship was in trouble. But maybe he’s just having a bad day.

31. Keep stress in check. Not only does stress prolong and worsen depression, but it can also trigger it. Figure out all the things in your life that are stressing you out. Examples include: work overload, unsupportive relationships, taking on too much, or health problems. Once you’ve identified your stressors, you can make a plan to avoid them or minimize their impact.

32. Know when to get additional help. If you find your depression getting worse and worse, seek professional help. Needing additional help doesn’t mean you’re weak. Sometimes the negative thinking in depression can make you feel like you’re a lost cause, but depression can be treated and you can feel better! Don’t forget about these self-help tips, though. Even if you’re receiving professional help, these tips can be part of your treatment plan, speeding your recovery and preventing depression from returning.

33. List what you like about yourself.

34. Listen to music.

35. Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club.

36. Minimize sugar and refined carbs. You may crave sugary snacks, baked goods, or comfort foods such as pasta or french fries. But these “feel-good” foods quickly lead to a crash in mood and energy.

37. Omega-3 fatty acids play an essential role in stabilizing mood. Foods rich in certain omega-3 fats called EPA and DHA can give your mood a big boost. The best sources are fatty fish such as salmon, herring, mackerel, anchovies, sardines, and some cold water fish oil supplements. Canned albacore tuna and lake trout can also be good sources, depending on how the fish were raised and processed.

38. Pets can make you happier and healthier. While nothing can replace the human connection, pets can bring joy and companionship into your life and help you feel less isolated. Caring for a pet can also get you outside of yourself and you a sense of being needed—both powerful antidotes to depression. And the research backs it up. Studies show that pet owners are less likely to suffer from depression or get overwhelmed by stress.

39. Practice relaxation techniques. A daily relaxation practice can help relieve symptoms of depression, reduce stress, and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation.

40. Read a good book.

41. Schedule a weekly dinner date with someone special.

42. Socialize with positive people. Notice how people who always look on the bright side deal with challenges, even minor ones, like not being able to find a parking space. Then consider how you would react in the same situation. Even if you have to pretend, try to adopt their optimism and persistence in the face of difficulty.

43. Spend some time in nature.

44. Start small and stay focused. The key to depression recovery is to start with a few small goals and slowly build from there. Draw upon whatever resources you have. You may not have much energy, but you probably have enough to take a short walk around the block or pick up the phone to call a loved one. Take things one day at a time and reward yourself for each accomplishment. The steps may seem small, but they’ll quickly add up. And for all the energy you put in to your depression recovery, you’ll get back much more in return.

45. Take a long, hot bath.

46. Take care of a few small tasks.

47. Take care of yourself. In order to overcome depression, you have to take care of yourself. This includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning to manage stress, setting limits on what you’re able to do, adopting healthy habits, and scheduling fun activities into your day.

48. Talk to one person about your feelings.

49. Think outside yourself. Ask yourself if you’d say what you’re thinking about yourself to someone else. If not, stop being so hard on yourself. Think about less harsh statements that offer more realistic descriptions.

50. Try to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it. When you’re depressed, it feels more comfortable to retreat into your shell. But being around other people will make you feel less depressed.

51. Turn to trusted friends and family members. Share what you’re going through with the people you love and trust. Ask for the help and support you need. You may have retreated from your most treasured relationships, but they can get you through this tough time.

52. Watch a funny movie or TV show.

53. Write in your journal.

54. Pray (if you’re a spiritual person) for guidance, peace, joy and prosperity.

55. Be patient with yourself as you try these “depression-busting” techniques. Experiment. Dump the ones that don't work. Keep the ones that do!

Good Luck!

==> Living with an Aspergers Partner: Help for Struggling Couples

==> Skype Counseling for Struggling Couples Affected by Asperger's and HFA

Suicidal Thinking in People with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Every 17 minutes, a suicide is completed, and every 42 seconds someone is attempting suicide. Research reveals that 80-90% of those who commit suicide had a mental health issue. The rates of suicide are rising among teenagers and young adults with High-Functioning Autism (Asperger’s). 
 
Professionals working with autistic teenagers are suggesting that 50% of these adolescents have contemplated or attempted suicide, and they are at a 40-50% higher risk of completing suicide than their “typical” peers.

Suicide is a tragic reaction to stressful life situations. It may seem like there is no way to solve your problems, and that suicide is the only way to end the pain. Suicide warning signs include:
  • Being preoccupied with death, dying or violence
  • Being severely anxious or agitated
  • Changing normal routine (e.g., eating or sleeping patterns)
  • Developing personality changes
  • Doing risky or self-destructive things (e.g., using drugs or driving recklessly)
  • Feeling trapped or hopeless about a situation
  • Getting affairs in order when there is no other logical explanation for doing this
  • Getting the means to take your own life (e.g., buying a gun or stockpiling pills)
  • Giving away belongings
  • Having mood swings (e.g., being emotionally high one day and deeply discouraged the next)
  • Increasing use of alcohol or drugs
  • Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again
  • Talking about suicide (e.g., "I wish I were dead" or "I wish I had never been born")
  • Withdrawing from social contact and wanting to be left alone

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

There's no substitute for professional help when it comes to treating suicidal thinking and preventing suicide. Don't try to manage suicidal thoughts or behavior entirely on your own. You need professional help and support to overcome the problems linked to suicidal thinking. Having said that, there are a few things that may reduce suicide risk and get you to start enjoying your life again:

1. Avoid drugs and alcohol, because they can worsen suicidal thoughts. They can also make you feel less inhibited, which means you're more likely to act on your thoughts.

2. Don't skip your medications is the doctor has prescribed some for you. If you stop, your suicidal feelings may come back. You could also experience withdrawal-like symptoms from abruptly stopping an antidepressant or other medication.

3. Employ the techniques called “thought-stopping.” The basis of this technique is that you consciously issue the command, “Stop!” when you experience repeated negative or distorted thoughts. You then replace the negative thought with something more positive and realistic. Interrupting bothersome thoughts with a “stop” command serves as a reminder and a distraction.

4. Get treatment for the underlying cause of your suicidal thinking. If you don't treat the underlying cause, your suicidal thoughts are likely to return.

5. If you are already seeing a therapist, don't skip therapy sessions or doctor's appointments, even if you don't want to go or don't feel like you need to.

6. If you have depression, learn about its causes and treatments.

7. It is easy for negative thoughts to take over and run as out of control as a runaway train. But, always remember that you are the one who has ultimate control of your thoughts. What are thoughts anyway? They are simply words or pictures that flash across your mind. When you begin to see thoughts that way (temporary flashes in your mind), it is very liberating. When you begin to control your thoughts instead of letting them control you, then you are the ruler of your own destiny. Take several times a day and simply observe your thoughts. When a negative one pops in your head, first acknowledge it, and let it know that it's even ok that it is in your head. Then let it know that you are the ruler of your thoughts, and gently let it fly away like a bird. As you practice this, it will get more natural and you will easily be able to remove these negative thoughts.

8. Physical activity and exercise have been shown to reduce depression symptoms (e.g., walking, jogging, swimming, gardening, etc.).

9. Remember that suicidal feelings are temporary. If you feel that life is not worth living anymore, remember that treatment can help you regain your perspective — and life will get better.

10. Seek help from a support group. It may be hard to talk about suicidal feelings, and your friends and family may not fully understand why you feel the way you do. Reach out anyway. You may want to get help from your place of worship, support groups or other community resources. Feeling connected and supported can help reduce suicide risk. There are a number of organizations available to help you cope with suicidal thinking and recognize that there are numerous options in your life other than suicide.

11. Use the technique call “distraction.” Just as the name implies, distraction is anything you do to temporarily take your attention off of a strong emotion (e.g., reading, journaling, playing video games, watching a movie, calling a friend, etc.). Oftentimes, focusing on a strong emotion can make it feel even stronger and more out of control. Thus, by temporarily distracting yourself, you may give the emotion some time to decrease in intensity, making it easier to manage.

12. Work with a therapist to learn what might trigger your suicidal feelings. Learn to spot the danger signs early, and decide what steps to take ahead of time. Consider involving family members or friends in watching for warning signs.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Why Your Partner with ASD is So Inflexible

Neurotypical individuals often don’t understand what their partners with Asperger’s (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (ASD level 1) are thinking, how they interpret what is going on, and how their deficits cause relationship problems.

In these cases, it’s best to collect information and analyze what’s going on (i.e., do an investigation). Without investigating the reasons behind the relationship difficulties, NTs may very likely do something that backfires. But, if they know what is really going on, they can make a positive change in how the relationship operates.

Ask yourself the following questions: 

  1. Because a situation was one way the first time, does my spouse feel it has to be that way always (i.e., being rule-bound)?
  2. Does my spouse see only two choices to a situation rather than many options (i.e., black-and-white thinking)?
  3. Has my spouse created a rule that can't be followed (i.e., he/she sees only one way to solve a problem; he/she can’t see alternatives)?
  4. Is my spouse blaming me for something that is beyond my control (i.e., he/she feels that I must solve the problem for him/her, even when it involves issues that I have no control over)?
  5. Is my spouse exaggerating the importance of an event? 
  6. Is it the case that there are no “small” events in his/her mind, and everything that goes wrong is a “catastrophe” (i.e., black-and-white thinking)?
  7. Is my spouse expecting perfection in him/herself (i.e., black-and-white thinking)?
  8. Is my spouse misunderstanding what is happening and assuming something that isn't true (i.e., a misinterpretation brought about by mind-blindness issues)?
  9. Is my spouse stuck on an idea and can't let it go (i.e., he/she does not know how to move on when there is a problem)?

Realizing that people with AS and HFA will NOT be  good observers of their behavior is your first step. This is where you, the NT partner, may be able to provide some insight. Not knowing what to do results in anxiety that leads to the AS/HFA individual taking ineffective and inappropriate actions. Inflexibility is usually a result of this anxiety, which leads to difficulty moving on and letting go of an issue and "getting stuck" on something.


Understanding your AS or HFA partner involves knowing the autistic traits and how they manifest themselves in everyday situations. How does he/she see the world, think about matters, and react to what is going on?  Below are a few reasons that will help you understand why people on the autism spectrum act the way they do.

Reasons for inflexibility:

  • misunderstanding or misinterpretation of your motives or actions
  • violation of a rule or ritual (i.e., changing something from the way it is “supposed” to be)
  • anxiety about a current or upcoming event, no matter how trivial it may appear to you
  • lack of knowledge about the “hidden rules” of social engagement
  • sensory sensitivities, inattention (ADD), OCD, or other psychiatric issues
  • need to avoid or escape from a non-preferred activity, often something difficult or undesirable (often, if he can’t be perfect, he does not want to engage in the activity)
  • need to control a situation
  • need to engage in -or continue- a preferred activity (usually an obsessive interest)
  • transitioning from one activity to another (usually a problem because it may mean ending an activity before he/she is finished with it)

Never over-estimate your AS or HFA partner’s understanding of a situation because of his “high intellectual” capability or his/her other strong points. People on the spectrum often need a road map and a set of instructions, one example at a time.

Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives

==> ASD Men's MasterClass: Social-Skills Training and Emotional-Literacy Development 

Why Your Spouse on the Autism Spectrum is Depressed


"Why is my husband [Asperger's] depressed all the time? Is depression part of the disorder? He doesn't talk much nowadays and seems to have very little quality of life in general. What can be done to help him? We haven't been getting along well for quite a while."

This is not surprising - and is a very common occurrence with people on the autism spectrum. My experience has been that these ASD individuals who are depressed a lot have been under pervasive, chronic stress over a long period of time.

Depression very rarely causes anxiety, but prolonged anxiety always causes depression. It's physically and emotionally draining to be under the influence of stress hormones 365 days-a-year ... a steady drip-drip-drip of adrenaline, noradrenalin, cortisol, Cortizone - all the stress chemicals wears-and-tears on them until it negatively affects their mood in the form of depression.

Feeling like a failure in the marriage is another major contributor to depression in males on the autism spectrum. They really want to please their wife (seriously, they do) but haven't figured out how to do this on a consistent basis. Being on the receiving end of what feels to him like chronic complaints about his "lack" slowly sucks a lot of self-esteem out of him, which reinforces his negative belief that he is indeed a social failure.

So, to work on the depression would be simply treating a symptom. It would be much better to treat the cause - which is anxiety! And the main cause of anxiety is the ASD individual's faulty belief system - and associated negative self-talk. 

So in treating people with depression, I’m looking at the thinking errors they have about themselves (and the world in general), along with the destructive  inner-monologue and commentary those thinking errors generate, AND the resultant self-fulfilling prophesies that often occur (i.e., believing in something negative for so long that it eventually becomes a reality).

The cycle often looks similar to this:
  • "I never get it right. So, I'm in a constant state of either trying harder or simply giving up"  [thinking error].
  •  "Trying harder and/or giving up doesn't fix my problems [anxiety], and is wearing me out" [depression].
  • "Things will just get worse from here on, I guess" [setting up a self-fulfilling prophesy].

On a related note, your Asperger's husband would benefit greatly from our ongoing men's group (diagnosed with ASD, or otherwise). In these groups, we take a deep dive into the issues of anxiety, depression, thinking errors, social skills, building self-esteem, and much more.

Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living with ASD: eBook and Audio Instruction for Neurodiverse Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives

==> ASD Men's MasterClass: Social-Skills Training and Emotional-Literacy Development

==> Videos to help you understand your partner on the autism spectrum...

If You Have ASD [level 1], You May Be Smarter Than The Average Neurotypical


There are several signs that could mean you’re smarter, as proven by science. What’s even more amazing is that many of these signs seem like some of the traits of ASD-Level 1 and Aspergers.

There are 9 different types of intelligence:
  1. Bodily-kinesthetic (body smart)
  2. Existential (life smart)
  3. Interpersonal (people smart)
  4. Intra-personal (self-smart)
  5. Linguistic (word smart)
  6. Logical-mathematical (number/reasoning smart)
  7. Musical (sound smart)
  8. Naturalist (nature smart)
  9. Spatial (picture smart)

Believe it or not (do your own research if you’re skeptical), very smart people have the following traits. They are:

•    Messy
•    Lazy
•    Cat lovers
•    Chocolate lovers
•    Shy
•    Likely to talk to themselves
•    Worriers and over-thinkers
•    Very inquisitive
•    Sarcastic
•    Not interested in fashion
•    Cognitively hyperactive
•    Night owls
•    Forgetful
•    Avid readers

Let’s look at each of these traits further. If this sounds like you, you may just be smarter than you’re giving yourself credit for:

1. Are you a slob? Were you taught to feel bad about yourself for being messy, disorganized or unkempt? Studies suggest that the messy desk (for example) of geniuses is linked to their intelligence. Smart people don’t spend much time cleaning and organizing everything; thus, their mind is occupied with more important stuff.

2. Are you lazy? People with high IQ are less active than average people. Do you often get bored if not given a challenging task? Then you just might be a genius. Some of the greatest invention were made out of laziness (e.g., a remote control).

3. Do you favor cats over dogs? Cat lovers are more introverted, open-minded, and more likely to be non-conformists.

4. Do you crave chocolate? People who eat chocolate at least once a week perform better in a range of mental tests involving memory and abstract thinking as compared to the general population.

5. Do you have social anxiety? People who have anxiety are constantly analyzing their environment. Do you often reflect on what is happening, formulate ideas, and process a lot of information at once? This requires a lot of intelligence. Studies support the idea that socially anxious people are generally more intelligent.

6. Do you talk to yourself? Then you might be a genius, or at least you’re an intelligent human being, studies have found.

7. Do you over-think shit? People who over-think a lot are more creative. Worrying comes from an innate ability to imagine vividly. When you catch yourself over-thinking, utilize your creative imagination to discover solutions.

8. Are you highly inquisitive? Smart people are always interested in the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’ behind everything. They find themselves asking a lot of questions, reading a lot, and observing everything with curiosity.  Do you have a childlike zeal to learn and consume new information? Then you just might be a genius.

9. Are you a smart-ass? Smart people are sarcastic. Smart-ass individuals have a certain wit that implies intelligence. Studies suggest a link between sarcasm and creativity. People who use sarcastic humor are more likely to be intelligent, because it requires more thought.

10. Could you give a shit less about fashion? Smart people don’t care much about fashion. Do you want to spend your time and thinking abilities on bigger issues than fashion? Then you just might be a genius.

11. Are you hyperactive? Smart people have very hyperactive brains. Are you often “stuck” in your own ideas and philosophies? It’s just a sign that you are smarter than the average bear.

12. Are you a night owl? Smart people like to stay up late.  Studies show that people who are more intelligent are more nocturnal than their less intelligent counterparts. Recent technological advances make your brain reach for expertise in areas of special interest, and to search for stimulation at night, ignoring the impulse to rise and fall with the sun like your ancestors.

13. Are you scatterbrained? Is your mind preoccupied with thinking about several things at a time? Do you often forget about basic things (e.g., where you put your phone or keys)? Then you just might be a genius. You’re spending your mental energy on the larger things in life.

14. Are you obsessed with reading? Smart people read a lot.  Do you love learning about how things work and expanding your horizons? Then you just might be a genius.

Resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism  

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

 ==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives

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