==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples
Are you an adult with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's? Are you in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum? Are you struggling emotionally, socially, spiritually or otherwise? Then you've come to the right place. We are here to help you in any way we can. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile...
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You want to make your spouse happy? You want her to feel satisfied? Feel appreciated? Do you want your spouse to put you back on the top of her priority list?
Below are 7 ways to make your spouse happy – starting today:
1. Make your spouse happy by cleaning anything. When you do any single chore that she doesn't have to do, she is less bogged down. As a mother and wife, her “to do” lists are never ending. While she might love to climb into bed with her husband and think only about love making, she usually can't do that easily. When her husband helps her and makes a serious effort to cut down on what she has to do, she feels thankful for his willingness to help and less overwhelmed by what still awaits her. If you already do a lot around the house, as you should, do one more thing a day and sit back and watch her reaction. Your spouse may not notice your new haircut, but she will always notice a chore that is off her list.
2. Make your spouse happy by complimenting her. You may think that she already knows that you think she is still beautiful, but she can never hear it enough. When you express kind words towards your spouse, she feels a renewed love and appreciation for not only you – but herself. She remembers, even for a brief second, that she is a lovely woman and that has a husband that loves her. What more could she want? She wants and needs to be reminded of how you feel about her.
3. Make your spouse happy by giving her small gifts. While buying her gifts is not nearly as important as your attitude and actions described in the other tips, gifts can play a role to please your spouse. If you can afford a nice little gift here and there, do it. Buy her something that she truly likes though. Think about something she liked way back in college that she hasn't had in a while. Did she like garlic pickles? If so, find a place that sells them and show up with one.
4. Make your spouse happy by having fun and playing with your kids. When a woman sees her husband playing with their children, it is a big turn on. When you think of an activity to do with the kids on your own and you execute that activity showing true interest in them, you might as well pull out the satin sheets, because you're getting lucky. Most women are very conscience of the fact that kids need attention and love from both parents for important emotional development. When a wife sees her husband giving his kids the time and energy that she thinks they deserve, she feels excited and appreciative.
5. Make your spouse happy by remembering special occasions. Remembering birthdays, anniversaries and special dates tells your spouse loud and clear that you truly care. But, when you think outside the box and remember dates that she hardly remembers, she will be totally impressed. She will not only feel special but will feel like you are thinking about her more than she thought. For example, tape a note to the coffee maker in the morning that says "Happy 5 Years Since We Met." Your spouse will be figure out instantly if you are right and then she will call her best friend to tell her that you remembered.
6. Make your spouse happy by showing her affection. Showing your spouse affection is another sign that you love and appreciate her. Hugs and kisses are obviously great ways to show your spouse love, but there are so many other ways to show affection in subtle ways that send a message of love. Why not hold her hand on her way to the laundry room? Put your arm around your spouse while watching TV, or rub her back as she makes dinner. Touch her back as she walks by, kiss the top of her head for no reason, and touch her whenever you can. Show her that you want to touch her in and out of the bedroom.
7. Make your spouse happy by spending as much time with the family as possible. When you are able to get away from work and spend time with your family, do it. The key though is to spend quality time. Turn off your cell phone and the computer and give yourself to your family. Let them see your complete abandon for time. Your spouse will again feel appreciated, and your kids will feel special too.
Making your spouse happy has a lot more to do with performing in everyday life and less about performing in the bedroom. Showing her that you love her every day by touching her, relieving her of some of her duties, showing love to the kids, and spending time with your family will surely make your spouse very happy. This will, in turn, make you happy!
==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples
This post is written to help young Aspergers (high functioning autism) adults make the most of their abilities and increase their self-reliance and self-confidence.
Yes, you can take control of your life and live independently while fulfilling your dreams and enjoying each day, one day at a time.
1. Always look for the bright spot in everything. But be careful though, because staying positive isn’t the same as settling for whatever comes your way and not aspiring for more. Your happiness and optimism can be both a blessing and a curse. Although you can remain happy despite most of your problems, sometimes you may adapt too much! Adapting as a form of “giving up” is NOT a good thing.
2. Be dependable and punctual. Dependability and punctuality are skills that are learned through trial and error. Aspies who learn to be dependable make their employers happy and get raises and promotions.
3. Be open to new experiences and opportunities. While living alone, you may find yourself complaining that you come face-to-face with major life-changing decisions too frequently (e.g., where to go to school, how to find a better job, when to ask that special person out for a date, etc.). But you won’t accomplish all that you are able to if you are closed to all these experiences. You may have many “firsts” (e.g., first time living alone, your first bank account, your first time spending your birthday away from home, etc.), but all of these experiences are helping you to develop emotional muscles that you would never develop otherwise. And with stronger emotional muscles, confidence and an enjoyment for life begin to grow.
4. Be respectful to others. This is a tough skill for some Aspies to learn. Often they feel that those who deserve respect are those people they like - and no one else. They need to learn that although you may not like someone, that someone deserves your respectful attitude just for the sake of their being and the place that someone has in your life. When you learn to have a respectful attitude towards all others, it becomes easier for you when you work with those who may have different values.
5. Have a positive attitude. It is not possible to truly remain positive all of the time. But if one learns to look for the positive when faced with adversity, instead of wallowing in the negative, one is more likely to find a way to be as positive as possible. You can learn to look for - and strive to achieve - positive outcomes. Then you can use this skill to help you find and keep a job you enjoy.
6. Have a solid work ethic. Working is just that, getting a task completed. When you learn to see a job through until it is done - and done well - you build more confidence and are better able to handle the next task given to you. This skill leads to positive outcomes in the workplace and at home.
7. Keep your faith. When life knocks you down to your knees, remember you’re in the perfect position to pray! During difficult times, you will become more attune to your relationship with God. Every day, wake up and thank Him that you are still alive and doing well. When everything else seems bleak, your faith will keep you strong.
8. Keep yourself busy! Loneliness will get to you, eventually. Coping with loneliness is a very important skill on your list of needed independent living skills, because every Aspie I've ever known has needed it. Aspies who know how to recognize loneliness as the temporary feeling it is (a) use their support system, (b) work through their loneliness, and (c) do just fine in the long run.
9. Know how to problem-solve. When faced with a problem, there are people who ignore them, people who fall apart, and then there are people who look for and find solutions. An Aspie who learns to be the type who looks for solutions will be happier with their chosen career and place of employment.
10. Learn to deal and get along with all kinds of people. Living alone can get you in all different kinds of situations, and in those adventures, you will encounter people from all walks of life. Be interested in them – and learn from them
11. Make yourself happy by doing what you love. If your personal life is messed up, and so is your family life, you might as well try to salvage it by having a good professional working life. At least this one, you have some sort of control over. Money is definitely a necessity, but find the time to do whatever makes you happy during weekends, holidays or after work!
12. Recognize that being alone does not equal being lonely. Being comfortable with being by yourself is part of having a healthy attitude. Have some positive “alone-time” activities. Reading, drawing, journaling, crafting and listening to music are activities that you can enjoy by yourself without feeling lonely.
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