Are you an adult with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's? Are you in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum? Are you struggling emotionally, socially, spiritually or otherwise? Then you've come to the right place. We are here to help you in any way we can. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile...

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Asperger's Adults and Winter Depression

Winter depression affects many people, but for those with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism, this phenomenon can be even more pronounced. Winter depression is a mystery to researchers who study it. Many factors seem to be involved (e.g., brain chemicals, ions in the air, genetics, etc.). But scientists agree that individuals who suffer from winter depression have one very important thing in common: they're especially sensitive to light, or the lack of it.

Here are some quick tips for overcoming winter depression:

1. Avoid excessive alcohol consumption. Alcohol is actually a depressant. Rather than improving your mood, it only makes it worse. Avoiding alcohol when you are already depressed is a good idea.

2. Burn some candles. If you don’t have a fireplace, do the next best thing and light some candles. Then sit and watch them burn, or read a good book beside them.

3. Do something challenging. Stretch yourself in some small way every winter (e.g., take a writing class, research the genetics of mood disorders, build a website, etc.). It keeps your brain from freezing like the rest of your body.

4. Dress in bright colors. There seems to be a link between feeling optimistic and sporting bright colors.

5. Eat healthy. Avoid refined and processed foods (e.g., white breads, rice, and sugar). These foods are not only devoid of the nutrients your body craves, but they zap your energy levels and can affect your mood—causing depression, lack of concentration, and mood swings. Depressives and addicts need to be especially careful with sweets, because the addiction to sugar and white-flour products is very real and physiological, affecting the same biochemical systems in your body as other drugs like heroin.

6. Enjoy the season. Instead of avoiding the ice and snow, look for the best that winter has to offer (e.g., ice skating, snowboarding, hockey, sledding, etc.). Enjoy these activities while they last, because they’re only here a few months each year.

7. Find a hobby. Keeping your mind active with a new interest seems to ward off symptoms of depression (e.g., play bridge, sing, knit, keep a journal, etc.). The important thing is that you have something to look forward to and concentrate on.

8. Follow through with your New Year’s resolutions. There is a strong link between healthy behaviors and depression. People who exhibit healthy behaviors (e.g., exercising, not smoking, etc.) have less sad and depressed days than those whose behaviors are less than healthy.

9. Get a light lamp. Bright-light therapy, involving sitting in front of a fluorescent light box, can be as effect as antidepressant medication for mild and moderate depression.

10. Get plenty of sleep. Get 7-8 hours each night, and try to keep your bedtime and waking time consistent. That way, sleeping patterns will normalize and you’ll have more energy.

11. Get some social support. Don’t underestimate the power of friends, family, mentors, co-workers, and neighbors. Find safe people you can turn to when you’re down and need a pick-me-up.

12. Go to counseling. Counseling, psychotherapy or cognitive behavioral therapy can help you cope with depression.

13. Perform daily small acts of kindness. The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. A sense of purpose, committing oneself to a noble mission, and acts of altruism are strong antidotes to depression.

14. Treat yourself. Having something to look forward to can keep you motivated. Plan something that’s exciting to you (e.g., a weekend trip, a day at the spa, a party, a play, a sporting event, etc.).

15. Start and complete a project. Projects like organizing bookshelves, shredding old tax returns, and cleaning out the garage are perfect activities for the dreary months of the year.

16. Take Omega-3′s. Researchers have confirmed the positive effects of this natural, anti-inflammatory molecule on emotional health. One 500mg soft gel capsule meets the doctor-formulated 7:1 EPA to DHA ratio, needed to elevate and stabilize mood.

17. Get help if all else fails. If your symptoms are so bad that you can't live a normal life, see your doctor for medical help. Some antidepressants like Paxil and Prozac work for many individuals who suffer from the winter blues.


==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

==> Skype Counseling for Struggling Couples Affected by Asperger's and HFA

Coping Strategies for Adults with Asperger's

I recently asked a few of my adult Asperger’s (High-Functioning Autistic) clients to tell me what has really worked for them in the way of coping strategies. Here are their answers:

Mark Hutten: “As you look back on your life, what has been your most effective coping strategy?”

Rick: “I think my most effective coping strategy has been my faith in God. I don't go to church as much as I should, or read the Bible as much as I should, but I do have a strong belief that God is with me and helps me through my trials. He has always come through for me.”

Michael: “What has worked for me more than anything else is staying in shape and working out. I try to do cardio in the morning and weight-bearing exercises in the afternoon. Staying in shape is both a distraction for me and a mood elevator, which helps me to cope with other things that come up in my day.”

Rhonda: “Well, I consider myself to be a lifelong learner. I like to read, and I keep my mind active by educating myself on new subject matter. Gaining new knowledge in an area that is new to me helps me to focus on things other than my personal problems. I also go to my local college and take classes periodically. So staying mentally sharp helps me to cope.”

Sarah: “Counseling has been the best technique for me. I come here every week. I can talk to the group about personal matters that I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about with anyone else, and you guys give me great feedback and insight. It helps me see things from a different perspective, which keeps me from taking life too seriously and taking other people's behavior to personally.”

David: “I have a couple close friends that have been a big help to me. I could probably have as many friends as I want to, but I'm not a very social person by nature. I would rather have one or two close friends than a dozen wishy-washy friends. My friends are very similar to me with regard to temperament. So we click together pretty good. We can laugh at life, which is a great stress reliever for me.”

Katherine: "What seems to help me through life in general is my job. For the most part, I enjoy my work. It brings me a lot of satisfaction. I'm preoccupied with job related matters most of the day. It seems to be a source of good stress rather than bad stress for me, if that makes sense."

Shawn: “My wife has been the best source to help me to cope. She holds me accountable, but when I have a meltdown, she usually backs-off because she knows that my meltdown only lasts for short period of time. If I'm upset, she doesn't get upset because I'm upset. She helps me to calm down. I love her very much and she's my best friend.”

Allan: “Music helps me to cope. I play several musical instruments, and it's easy for me to express my feelings as I'm playing the instrument. I can express all of my emotions whenever I am playing music. If I feel frustrated, I can play frustrated feelings in my music. If I am happy, then my music sounds happy too. It is a natural way for me to get rid of painful emotions.”

Thomas: “Probably what helps me to cope every day is to just lie down on the couch and watch a good movie with my cat. It helps me to calm down and enjoy a couple hours in the day. My cat is very playful, and this reminds me to keep it simple and make it fun. She reminds me that play is just as important as work.”

Tina: “I enjoyed cooking. Cooking new dishes is relaxing to me. I enjoy experimenting with different recipes. Cooking is kind of a hobby for me. It involves several steps ...going to the grocery and getting good ingredients ...coming home and putting the recipe together ...cooking ...and then the best part, eating it. I also enjoy experimenting with different wines. For example, red wine goes good with pasta, and certain white wines go better with seafood. So it is always fun to connect the best wine to a particular dish.”

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Avoiding the Holiday Blues: Tips for Adults with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

The holiday season often brings unwelcome guests, stress and depression. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands, including parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few. But with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress and depression that accompanies the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past. Here’s how:

1. Don't “give in” to your depression, but do accept its presence in your life so you can work with it. If depression comes in part from rejecting our feelings, rejecting the depression will just make things worse.

2. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sad. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.

3. Try your best to avoid toxic people. If you absolutely must see such individuals, then allow only enough time for food-digestion and gift-giving. Drink no more than one glass of wine in order to preserve your ability to think rationally. You don’t want to get confused and decide you really do love these people, only to hear them say something horribly offensive two minutes later.

4. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones.

5. Find some ‘extra’ social support through the holidays. If you attend Al-Anon once a week, go twice a week. If you attend a yoga class twice a week, try to fit in another. Schedule an extra therapy session as insurance against the potential meltdowns ahead of you.

6. Sadly, it's often easier for us to be nice to someone else than to ourselves. But we can use this tendency to help heal our depression. The great teachers tell us that when we do even a small act of kindness for someone else, at that moment we ourselves receive a blessing (perhaps because we come into healing contact with our own capacity to care). In the end, remember that, painful as it is, depression can lead us to explore healing approaches that we might otherwise never have tried.

7. Understand that you are not alone and that many of us experience depression around the holidays. Understand that sadness, loneliness, and anger do not indicate that something is wrong with you. Just the opposite! They show that you react to painful situations, that you feel, in short, that you're alive! This is healthy.

8. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Over-indulgence only adds to your stress and moodiness. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.

9. Don't watch too much TV over the holidays. Most programs are not designed to make you a better person, or even feel better.

10. “Time spent laughing is time spent with the gods,” says a Japanese proverb. Research shows that laughing is good for your health. And, unlike exercise, it’s always enjoyable! Remember, with a funny bone in place - even if it’s in a cast - everything is tolerable.

11. Exercise, move, and do physical work. Aerobic exercise for 30 minutes four or five times a week, yoga, chi kung, and tai chi are all simple, safe, and effective anti-depressants.

12. Identify your triggers. Before you make too many plans this holiday season, list your triggers (i.e., people, places, and things that tend to trigger your anxiety and bring out your worst traits). Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays. Learn to recognize your holiday triggers, such as financial pressures or personal demands, so you can combat them before they lead to a meltdown. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you can find peace and joy during the holidays.

13. Learn to say ‘no’. Saying ‘yes’ when you should say ‘no’ can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and family will understand if you can't participate in every activity or family get-together over the holidays.

14. Since depression is often frozen grief or anger, if we can feel the warmth of the deeper feelings, we can sometimes begin to melt the ice of depression. Try this awareness meditation several times a week for 10 minutes: Sit with your eyes closed for five minutes and focus on your breathing. Then silently ask yourself, "What else am I feeling?" See if, along with the depression, there is any hurt, sadness, or anger. If so, open up to it and let yourself feel it more deeply. See what happens.

15. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.

16. Pleasure and joy are the enemies of depression. Even when we're depressed, there may be some little thing that truly pleases us (e.g., a piece of chocolate, a hot bath, a favorite piece of music, an old movie, a poem, etc.). Even a small amount of pleasure can perk us up and remind us that “life is good.”

17. Much of the pain of depression comes from the harsh way we criticize ourselves. But we can learn and practice a different way. Try this meditation: Sit with your eyes closed and think of something about yourself that's hard to accept. Now, let come to your mind the image of someone you know who truly cares for you. Visualize or hear this person accepting and forgiving you for what you find hard to accept. Try this for five minutes a few times a week.

18. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.

19. Practice “SEE,” which stands for Sleeping regularly, Eating well, and Exercising often. Without these three basics, you can forget about an enjoyable - or even tolerable - holiday.

20. A great acronym to remember during the holidays is HALT: don’t get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

21. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

22. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.

23. Before you go gift and/or food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend – then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.

24. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing, and restoring inner calm.

25. Take the SAMe supplement during the holidays. SAMe is derived from an amino acid that is a quick, natural anti-depressant. SAMe is available in health food stores (use only GNC, Naturemade, or Puritan's Pride brands, because research has shown these to be the only brands with reliable efficacy).




==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

==> Skype Counseling for Struggling Couples Affected by Asperger's and HFA

Trust Issues: Tips for Aspergers Husbands

Are there certain behaviors that are causing you to not trust your neurotypical spouse? Do you have unresolved issues that are hindering you from trusting other people in general?

Trust is an essential part of any relationship. Although all relationships have their ups and downs, there are things you can do that may well minimize "trust problems," if not help avoid them altogether. You and your wife can develop trust in each other by following these tips:
  1. Be a good listener.
  2. Be consistent.
  3. Be fair – even in an argument.
  4. Be on time.
  5. Be organized and clear about your respective chores in the home. Write all the chores down and agree on who does what. Be fair: Make sure each spouse’s tasks are equitable so no resentment builds.
  6. Be sensitive to the other's feelings. You can still disagree, but don't discount how your spouse is feeling.
  7. Be willing to work on your relationship and to truly look at what needs to be done. 
  8. Call to say you'll be home late.
  9. Call when you say you will.
  10. Carry your fair share of the workload.
  11. Complement each other.
  12. Contact each other through the day.
  13. Do the things you used to do when you were first dating.
  14. Do what you say you will do.
  15. Don’t be jealous.
  16. Don't dig up old wounds or bring up the past.
  17. Don't lie (not even little white lies).
  18. Don't overreact when things go wrong.
  19. Don't think that your life will be better with someone else; the same problems you have in this relationship (e.g., due to lack of social skills) will still exist in the next relationship.
  20. If you both hate housework, maybe you can spring for a cleaning service. If one of you likes housework, the other spouse can do the laundry and the yard. As long as it feels fair to both partners, you can be creative and take preferences into account.
  21. Learn to let things go and enjoy one another more. 
  22. Make gestures of appreciation.
  23. Never say things you can't take back.
  24. Respect one another.
  25. Respect your partner's boundaries.
  26. Say "thank you" and "I appreciate you" several times throughout the week. It lets your spouse know that she matters.
  27. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life.
  28. Show an interest in each other.
  29. Thinking your spouse will meet all your needs – and will be able to figure them out without you having to ask – is simply wishful thinking. Ask for what you need directly.
  30. Use humor.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Social Skills Tips for Adults with AS and HFA

Arranging valuable social skills activities is one of the most critical challenges parents face as their teenager with Aspergers (AS) or High-Functioning Autism (HFA) enters adulthood. Skills like these are important in fostering a sense of independence in the young adult, and a feeling of lasting security for his family members.

The capacity of young adults with Aspergers to care for themselves reflects the need-based education and services they receive as kids and adolescents. With a rich educational background focused on proper behaviors and social responses, many Aspergers grown-ups go on to become contributing members of society with families, social lives, and careers.

Here are some tips for adults with Aspergers and HFA who want to cultivate a few important social skills:

1. Although it is typically your first instinct to talk first, listening can actually be an advantage. A primary benefit of listening is the amount that can be learned. If you spend most of your time talking, then how can you learn anything? One of the best ways to be viewed as more likable is to be a good listener. It’s not always easy, but listening tells others that you are genuinely interested in them as a person.

2. Appropriate social interactions for young adults with Aspergers provide benefits in areas of development that extend beyond building social skills. Group activities improve the capacity for relationships, promote communication, and build solid life skills. These peer-based activities can take place (a) in a setting that is structured for optimal learning, or (b) in a setting that is relaxed and casual for having fun and learning to successfully cope with others.

3. Classes of all kinds provide well-rounded social skills activities for Aspergers adults while teaching them useful abilities that will last a lifetime. Examples of group-based classes include: (a) acting and drama classes; (b) art classes in mediums such as painting, sculpture, or digital design; (c) music lessons that focus on group cooperation; (d) singing, choir, and other ensemble voice classes.

4. In many communities, there seems to be a greater focus on activities for Aspergers kids rather than grown-ups, but there are valuable services for all age groups with Aspergers. If you're looking for suitable activities for an adult with Aspergers or HFA in your life, try speaking with your doctor or local hospital. You can also get out the yellow pages and search for local nonprofit agencies that provide Aspergers services (e.g., parks and recreation services, group-based respite care, employment services that focus on social interaction, Aspergers day programs or camps that feature social activities, etc.).

5. Physical activities provide adults with Aspergers valuable opportunities to exercise. When engaging in group recreational events, these individuals reap many social benefits from exercise and sports activities. For example, (a) gymnastics improve flexibility and muscle tone in a safe, fun, and social environment with adults of similar interests and backgrounds; (b) martial arts help improve motor skills and muscle tone while teaching Aspies how to build lasting social relationships with others; (c) soccer and basketball benefits these young people by teaching them how to cooperate with others in order to reach a specific goal, and it heightens appropriate feelings of social camaraderie and pride; and (d) swimming is a safe and enjoyable social activity suitable for most young Aspergers adults.

6. Recent research examined the effectiveness of the Program for the Education and Enrichment of Relationship Skills (PEERS) for young people ages 18 to 23 with Aspergers and HFA.  The researchers utilized a randomized controlled study design.  The study group utilized the PEERS program administered by parents.  Results were measured via self-assessment and caregiver-assessment. The researchers found that young people who participated in the PEERS program reported “improved knowledge in social skills” and also reported “feeling lonely less frequently.”  Parents reported observing “significant improvements in empathy, social responsiveness, social skills, and spending more time with peers.” The researchers state that the findings suggest that the PEERS social skills training program is an effective instrument in helping young adults with Aspergers develop social skills.

7. Sometimes, the best social opportunities arise from networking. Get together with other families that have older teens and young adults with Aspergers and coordinate activities (e.g., acting or singing competitions, cooking lessons, game night, matinees, park picnics, storytelling, etc.). While it's important to provide structure, it's also a good idea to allow Aspies to relax and enjoy themselves freely.

8. There are plenty of opportunities to show cooperation and teamwork in all areas of life. Whether you are in a crowded store or heavy traffic, cooperation will make the experience more manageable. If you are driving a bit slower than some, move to the slow lane and allow others to pass. If you are grocery shopping, don’t leave your cart in the middle of the isle. By being aware of those around you and showing consideration, you will be more likable.

9. When a young adult with Aspergers reaches the age of 22 in the U.S., the public school system's responsibility for his education and welfare comes to an end. This means that parents and friends must try to discover which social skills activities will most benefit the “Aspie” and fill the vacancy that forms after his education ends. Like kids with Aspergers, adults with Aspergers benefit from a constant reinforcement of the social skills they learned earlier in their lives. To leave this area of life skills unattended may lead to regression, depression, or even health problems.

10. While there are many therapies that are appropriate for young adults with Aspergers, treatment really depends on the Aspie’s response to the diagnosis – and responses can run the gamut from joy to anger and everything in between. Some adults are overjoyed, because finally everything makes sense to them (e.g., why they can't hold a job, keep a relationship, etc.). They have blamed themselves all their lives, but now they have a framework in which to understand their difficulties and their strengths. 

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Tips for ASD Husbands Who Are In the Doghouse

Would there be mostly D's and F's on your "relationship skills" report card? Has she crowned you “asshole of the year”? Then you may want to consider the following "idiot-proof" tips to get out – and stay out – of the doghouse:

1. One of the most respectful things a husband can do for his wife is to laugh at her attempts at humor. Lots of men, over time, forget this loving gesture. You say your wife isn't funny? So what? Neither is your annoying boss – but you laugh at his lame jokes. Why? Because you're trying to prove you respect him. Hello!

2. Apologize when you're wrong. Sure it's tough, but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.

3. Do some chores you lazy bum. The average woman without children does 10 hours more housework a week than her husband.  Come on!  Get with the program.

4. Don't walk out the door without a ‘see-you-later’ kiss. You only need to set aside 3 seconds a day for this task. A kiss in the morning, a hug after work, and another kiss before bed can produce a lasting feeling of intimacy – and will only cost you about 10 seconds of your valuable time.

5. If you continue to respond in the same way that has brought you pain and unhappiness in the past, you can't expect a different result in the future. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump right in to defend yourself before your wife is finished speaking, hold off for a few moments. You'll be surprised at how such a small shift in tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.

6. I’m a man, so I can say this: In the course of arguing with their wives, many men fail to realize that, consistently, they are wrong. They just are. They’re trying to be right, of course. But they’re failing at it. They can’t help it. It’s the nature of things. Men are taller, stronger, hairier and wronger. It’s a fact that they should just get used to. Thus, you should be doing a lot of tongue-biting and pride-swallowing from this point forward.
 
==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

7. No clothes on the floor. You ain’t no teenager! Dirty stuff in the hamper, put the rest away.

8. Remember you are not a victim. It is your choice whether to react and how to react.

9. Remember you can't control anyone else's behavior. The only one in your charge is you.

10. Touch her frequently. As you pass by her on the way to the living room, give her upper arm a quick, affectionate double squeeze. As you're walking to the dinner table, put a guiding hand, lightly but surely, on her lower back. When she's standing at the sink doing the dishes, come up behind her and give her a kiss on the back of her head.

11. Try walking into a room with the mindset of your wife who spends a good chunk of time cleaning it. Ask yourself, "If I were a neat freak, what would bother me in here?" Suddenly, the unwashed coffee cup on the counter, your son’s sneakers under the table, and the newspaper crumpled on the couch will reveal themselves to you. Act accordingly. It'll take just seconds, but over time, the payoff can be exponential.

12. When you're in the midst of an argument, are your comments directed toward resolution, or are you looking for payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it's best to take a deep breath and change your strategy (i.e., shut the f*** up!).
 

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

Strategies to Address Low-Frustration Tolerance in Adults with ASD

Strategies designed to address the autistic adult's difficulty in handling day-to-day frustrations have been developed along with comparable interventions for emotional problems relating to anxiety and depression. 
 
Here are the “big three”:

1. Self-control techniques have been used in the treatment of both aggressive and anxious adults on the spectrum, and given the difficulty that some have controlling these emotions, it may be advisable to make this deficit a key target of interventions for these individuals.

These individuals develop better self-control over their emotions by learning to recognize the physical signs of anxiety or anger (e.g., heart pounding, muscle tension, etc.), by practicing positive self-talk (e.g., “I’m upset right now, but I need to stop and think before I open my mouth”), and the utilization of relaxation techniques (e.g., muscle relaxation, deep breathing, etc.) to reduce emotional arousal and delay an immediate response to a stressful situation. This will permit careful reflection (e.g., problem solving, cognitive restructuring, etc.) prior to taking action.

2. Problem-solving skills are common to cognitive-behavioral treatment targeting behavioral or emotional problems. Adults with ASD are helped to think of several possible solutions to a given problem, and to reflect on the positive and negative consequences of each in order to choose the strategy that will maximize positive consequences in both the short and long term. These individuals who get frustrated easily rely too heavily on aggressive solutions, whereas depressed adults often default to avoiding their difficulties.

Problem-solving skills can be used in either case to broaden the repertoire of constructive coping strategies and enhance decision-making. Decreasing depression and anxiety related to low-frustration tolerance would be beneficial in itself for the adult with ASD, but it may have the added benefit of reducing negative moods that render the individual vulnerable to engaging in explosive, emotional and reactive aggression.

3. Reframing techniques have been used to deal with aggression, anxiety, and depression. The central feature of reframing is to identify thoughts that increase anger, anxiety or sadness, challenge their accuracy, and replace them with interpretations that are more realistic and less harmful. 
 
With regard to anxiety, a person on the spectrum may learn to recognize that her anxiety levels rise when she assumes that all of her coworkers would “think she is stupid” if she made a few typos in a business letter. Instead, she may be encouraged to take a more realistic view, recognizing that everyone makes mistakes, and that when other people make mistakes, she does not usually think badly of them.

To reinforce this perspective, the adult might use some encouraging self-talk (e.g., “It’s alright to make mistakes from time to time …that’s how I learn to avoid making the same mistakes in the future”). Applied to address emotional difficulties, reframing techniques are often used to emphasize that there is more than one way to explain the actions of other people.

Autistic adults who are easily frustrated over things both big and small face a complicated array of social and emotional challenges, and it is imperative that they recognize the full extent of their difficulties and tailor interventions to match their complex needs. More research is urgently needed to create and evaluate treatment strategies that integrate cognitive-behavioral strategies for the therapeutic intervention of both behavioral and emotional problems.

In the meantime, therapists who work with these adults may broaden the focus of existing clinic-based interventions by flexibly applying techniques such as cognitive restructuring, problem-solving skills training and self-control skills, along the lines described above. 

Parents may play a key role in advocating for their older teens and adult children with low-frustration tolerance, seeking referrals where appropriate to mental health centers where individual therapy may be provided, as this may be a particularly appropriate context to tailor interventions to the specific needs of the adult on the autism spectrum.

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