Are you an adult with High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's? Are you in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum? Are you struggling emotionally, socially, spiritually or otherwise? Then you've come to the right place. We are here to help you in any way we can. Kick off your shoes and stay awhile...

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Good New Year's Resolutions for People with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism

New Year’s resolutions are the perfect opportunity for all those who have failed to start making the changes that they said they would make next week or next month. Now is your chance to sit down and prepare a list of important lifestyle changes you want to make. I've decided to give you a bit of help by listing some important "changes" below – because since the majority of people fail to stick to their resolution, you’ll need all the help you can get.

1. Attend church
2. Be less argumentative
3. Be more of a team player
4. Become a smart grocery shopper (lists and pantry inventory before you go)
5. Buy less coffee from Starbucks
6. Call people more than text
7. Cook dinner more often
8. Cut someone out of your life who isn't good for you
9. Do one new thing every single week -- it doesn’t have to be major
10. Do something for charity
11. Donate unworn clothing to people who could use it
12. Drink less alcohol
13. Eat less chocolate
14. Get better at social networking
15. Get out of your comfort zone and explore more
16. Get those piles of photos into scrapbooks
17. Give more away—even if it’s something you want for yourself
18. Go on a blind date
19. Go travelling
20. Have a face-to-face with your boss to find out where you stand
21. Learn how to cook more of your favorite foods—no more take-out!
22. Learn how to make basic, easy things you normally buy
23. Leave work on time more often
24. Less time on Facebook
25. Less TV time
26. Live more minimalistically
27. Lose weight
28. Make a meal for any friend or neighbor when they’re sick or stuck at home
29. Make an effort to respond to emails quickly so they don’t fall through the cracks
30. Make the iPad the exception, not the habit, for nighttime entertainment
31. Meditate for five minutes every day
32. Meet online contacts in real life
33. Opt for tea instead of coffee
34. Opt for the stairs a few times every week
35. Organize photos
36. Plan at least one weekend day-trip every month
37. Plan to visit extended family regularly
38. Post more unfiltered and realistic images on your social feeds
39. Practice a musical instrument more (or take up a new one)
40. Quit smoking
41. Read for pleasure
42. Redecorate
43. Resolve to work ahead
44. Run a few miles every day
45. Save more money
46. Say “no” sometimes
47. Sell old unwanted stuff on eBay
48. Shut off Netflix by PM
49. Smile to at least one person every day
50. Spend more time with family
51. Spend one-on-one quality time with your friends every single week
52. Start your own business
53. Stop beating yourself up over mistakes -- learn from them, and move on
54. Stop contacting/going back to an ex-partner
55. Stop drinking soda
56. Stop pressing “snooze”
57. Stop using your smartphone as a crutch
58. Strive to stand up for yourself more often
59. Tackle three DIY projects you’ve pinned in the last three months
60. Take up a new hobby
61. Tell someone you have feelings for them
62. Text people less
63. Totally revamp your wardrobe
64. Try a new hairstyle
65. Try extreme sports
66. Try to save one of your relationships
67. Try your best to stay in the moment
68. Wake up early enough to have a leisurely breakfast and enjoy a cup of coffee
69. Walk a little slower and take in your surroundings
70. Watch less reality TV

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

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Comments From Women Who Are In Relationships With Asperger's Men

We asked a group of women who are members of our Facebook page “Relationships With Partners On The Autism Spectrum” the following question:

“For those of you who are in (or where in) a relationship (marriage or otherwise) with someone on the autism spectrum, what was your greatest challenge (or the biggest problem you had to endure)?”

Here are their responses:
  • Anonymous said…  Hard to communicate with, doesn't like to be social, doesn't like change, never compliments me. He shows his love by actions and not words but has changed a lot since we were married 35 yrs ago. Our son has Aspergers and I have learned through his therapy and progress that my husband is on the spectrum. He thinks I can read his mind because it seems so painful for him to communicate. Very passive-aggressive.
  • Anonymous said…  his "special interest" is a lifelong addiction that he wont recognize as such but also wont spend time doing anything else to the exclusion of helping around the house or interacting with his children. He will go to work but as soon as he gets home he shuts down, and focuses on his interest. If I ask him to do anything that doesn't involve his "special interest" he gets very irritable and tries to sabotage whatever else is going on a) his way of trying to manipulate so that he isn't called on again, b) so he can get back to his addiction.
  • Anonymous said…  Hostility towards me and thinking everything I say is having a go at him when it isnt
  • Anonymous said…  I didn't know. They didn't know. I got close to a diagnosis of myself with two books. NOBODY NOWHERE and SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE but got side swiped by movie Mr Jones. I was more like that. I still dont know about myself. The psychiatrist says you cant find out at 65 .... I differ but I dont care anymore. I take the drugs and try not to die of light and noise and travelling and boxes and suitcases and loneliness. My marriage ended. My child tried so hard to be normal I thought she was fine. Now I am just sad because I didnt know. My child figured it out watching Parenthood. She's in therapy and doing well. I think.
  • Anonymous said…  I love social events but it is like Chinese water torture to him.
  • Anonymous said…  Lack of connection.
  • Anonymous said…  Lack of empathy, lack of affection , lack of communication, lack of support through very difficult times. Always always always feeling lonely in my marriage.
  • Anonymous said…  Missing the physical and articulate expressions of simple affection and of passionate curiosity of ones object of desire. It is like reading music when you know what the orchestra sounds like and seeing the branches move without the sound of the breeze.
  • Anonymous said…  Poor communication, defensiveness, rigid thinking and lack of empathy.
  • Anonymous said…  Socializing with others as a couple. He often offends others because they don't know him.
  • Anonymous said… Aspie....Altered reality. Them not being responsible, affectionate, honest, paying bills on time, or fully understanding the consequences of their actions etc.
  • Anonymous said… Communication.
  • Anonymous said… Coping with the constant and repetitive verbal stimming.
  • Anonymous said… Everything is a challenge! It's like walking on eggshells. What is the helpful solution?
  • Anonymous said… His inability to adapt to change, twisted perceptions, selfishness, refusal to communicate, & not caring about my needs
  • Anonymous said… Lack of emotional support during crisis. Inability to solve problems.
  • Anonymous said… My greatest challenge was understanding that my paradigm of what our future looked like could not exist. I had to modify my desires to meet with his abilities. It has caused amazing growth in him and our marriage. No it doesn't look like anyone else's, but it sure works for us!
  • Anonymous said… my hubby is honest but everything else is spot on.
  • Anonymous said… Pretty much yes to everything in the comments list :(
  • Anonymous said… The defensiveness, the mind blindness (wrong conclusion jumping), saying one thing and doing another
  • Anonymous said… All of above !!  Hard work and draining. Emotionally exhausted 
  • Anonymous said... If you understand that you have aspergers and you understand how that impacts you and your partner and are willing to work toward the same goal, you will not be lonely. Depending on your partner, they may need to build other relationships and support, but you certainly have the ability to be happy.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

==> Skype Counseling for Struggling Couples Affected by Asperger's and HFA

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