6 Tips for Lonely Aspies

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How to Be a Chronic Worrier: Asperger’s Guidelines to Increase Anxiety

As an adult with Asperger’s (high-functioning autism), you are probably an expert in experiencing anxiety. However, if you want to kick your game up a few notches, adopt the “beliefs” listed below. They are guaranteed to move your anxiety to an all new level. [NOTE: This post is meant to be sarcastic.]

Belief #1: You should spend copious amounts of time contemplating all the possible things that might go wrong in any particular situation, or else you won’t be adequately prepared. “What if ________ (fill in the blank) happens?” …should become your new mantra.

Belief #2: Make yourself adopt the notion that you are a “born worrier.” In other words, you “have to worry” because it’s a genetic trait, so there’s no sense in trying to change something that is totally out of your control.

Belief #3: Accept that you are unable to find solutions to most problems, and as such, worrying is the best option.

Belief #4: Adopt the idea that if you let other people know what they do that makes you anxious, they will change their behavior to accommodate your wishes. In other words, feel free to engage in “emotional blackmail” as needed.

Belief #5: Come to understand that if you worry about others, it will show that you care about them. You know how great it feels when you see that someone else is continually worrying about you – right? So, return the favor!

Belief #6: Realize that if you worry about something long and hard enough – it’s likely to happen. Thus, create as many “self-fulfilling prophecies” as possible.

Belief #7: If you “feel” really nervous about something, it must mean that it’s a real threat. Therefore, you SHOULD worry about it – because feelings make facts.

Belief #8: Spend a long time thinking through every aspect of an issue before making a decision, because “spur-of-the-moment” decisions are often deadly!

Belief #9: Be advised that just because something you worried about in the past didn’t happen, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future. As such, “jumping to conclusions” and creating “worst-case scenarios” is highly recommended.

Belief #10: If you unceasingly worry about something (e.g., all day, all night, into the next day, etc.), you may be able to prevent bad things from happening. Increased worry equals fewer unwanted outcomes.

These are all beliefs that will raise your stress-level so high that your nearest competitors will be absolutely blown away. So, go ahead – lead the pack.

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==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder