Coping with Aspergers Women: Tips for NT Partners

If you are the partner of a lady with Aspergers (high functioning autism), and you become a bit frustrated with her on occasion, then  take the time to utilize a few of the simple, straight forward tips below.

They should make a significant improvement in the quality of your relationship. After all, you know she's a special lady with a ton of positive qualities, and you don't want to lose her!

1. Communicate with your Aspergers women precisely and directly. Since Aspergers individuals have trouble reading non-verbal cues, you will need to give full and complete messages. Do not speak ambiguously. Try different forms of communication, such as letters, lists and email.

2. Talk openly about finances. Aspergers individuals sometimes have poor money management skills. An Aspergers partner may want to spend lavishly, yet be critical of normal household expenses. Using a third party, such as a financial planner, may be helpful.

3. Respond instead of reacting. This can be difficult when you're frustrated with your Aspergers woman, but if you force yourself to remain calm, you will have a more positive interaction.

4. Find help for yourself. Get involved with a support group for spouses of people with Aspergers. If you become depressed, don't hesitate to get medical assistance.

5. Be totally up front with your Aspergers woman about emotions. Tell her how you feel, even when you think it's patently obvious, and ask her to do the same. She will love you for it.

6. Remember that above all, people with Aspergers have the same feelings and emotions as everyone else and want the same things in life that every human being wants: to be respected, to be treated with dignity, and to be happy.

7. Try to find some common ground, some activity that both of you enjoy. Agree to get together some time and do it.

Couples affected by Aspergers can have a happy, loving, and successful relationship. It may take a little work and a little extra effort, but it is possible and it is worth it. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, couples that truly love each other can - and will - make their relationship work.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Learn How to Deal with Your Man on the Spectrum

Are you so frustrated with your autistic man that it's making you crazy?  STOP!  Read this first...

Your husband is not a bad guy who is intentionally trying to be an asshole. Try some of these tips before you poison his lemonade:

1. Understand that some men with ASD (high functioning autism) can be brutally honest. When talking about reasons for marriage, a person with autism might say that there is an availability of sex as the main reason, while not including his love of his significant other.

Romance can be puzzling to someone with an autism spectrum disorder, but you will probably see improvement after explaining the meaning behind it, why it’s necessary, and that it makes you feel good.

2. Tell your ASD partner how you are feeling, especially if you are angry, and why. Your partner may not understand your emotions and why you are reacting a certain way.

3. Learn what his interests are, and try to engage in activities focusing on those interests. Go on a few dates where social interaction isn’t necessarily the focus.

4. If your partner talks in a confusing manner (e.g., talks in riddles, uses complex vocabulary, doesn’t answer your questions directly, etc.), ask him for more clarification. Also, remember not to use riddles, jokes or sarcasm in the same way you would with someone who doesn’t have ASD. If you do, ask if he understood and then explain what you meant. Otherwise, he might be hurt by what you said or just be confused.

5. If your partner has certain quirks (e.g., not wanting to talk on the phone), understand that it may be related to autism. Confront him about the issue if it bothers you, and explain why.

6. Ease him into large social situations (e.g., parties or group outings). Understand if he is overwhelmed or decides not to go with you. He might prefer being alone or with less people.

7. Don’t be alarmed if your ASD man is confused by romantic gestures (e.g., hugging or kissing). Stop if needed, but also try explaining what the gestures mean, or suggest going to a relationship counselor together so you can work on your partner’s relationship skills.

8. Don’t assume your guy is uninterested just because he isn’t telling you he likes you or finds you attractive. Decide what you think of him and let him know. After he is aware of your attraction and isn’t confused about nonverbal gestures and flirtation, it might be easier for him to decide if he feels the same way.

 

==> MORE INFORMATION ON HUSBANDS WITH ASD

 

More resources for Neurodiverse Couples:

==> Online Group Therapy for Men with ASD

==> Online Group Therapy for NT Wives

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples 

==> One-on-One Counseling for Struggling Individuals & Couples Affected by Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism  

==> Online Group Therapy for Couples and Individuals Affected by Autism Spectrum Disorder

 ==> Cassandra Syndrome Recovery for NT Wives