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23 Ways to Get Out of a Funk: Tips for Aspies




Here are some quick and effective ideas for improving your mood – quickly:

1. Achieve a small goal: Even little successes have big mood payoffs (e.g., getting the back yard mowed).

2. Be here now: The best way to stay cheerful is to stay centered in the present. In contrast, a wandering mind brings you down. 

3. Be mindful: Don’t dwell so much on the past and the future. Instead, tell yourself that nothing really changes regardless of how much you think about the past and, in most cases, the future.

4. Be nice: Holding the door for the person behind you or donating five bucks to a favorite charity improves your mood.

5. Breath: Belly breathing switches on the parasympathetic nervous system, helping calm mind and mood. 

6. Burn a candle: Flickering flames burn away stress and help you feel better all around.

7. Chew: The repetitive action of gnawing on gum or beef jerky promotes relaxation and reduces anxiety and stress.

8. Compliment someone: Complimenting people usually will improve their mood, and it also improves yours. 

9. Do something new: Even adding something small to a normal routine can brighten up a day. 

10. Drink green tea: It contains theanine, which has a calming effect on your body.

11. Eat dark chocolate: Eating chocolate makes you feel happy.

12. Get distracted: Step away from worries for a few minutes and get absorbed in something neutral (e.g., trimming a bush, drawing a picture). 

13. Get outside: A boost of vitamin D can keep the blues at bay.

14. Jump: Get endorphins pumping fast with some jumping jacks, jump rope, or random flailing around.

15. Masturbate: If you’re cranky at home (or somewhere else that’s private), orgasms can mellow you out.

16. Meditate: Just a few minutes of sitting quietly, focusing on the breath, and chanting a few Oms (silently or out loud) can snap you out of a funk.

17. Notice small miracles: Look around for small wonders (e.g., a butterfly).

18. Pet your pet: Cuddling, playing, or just chilling out with Sparky helps you feel happier and less stressed.

19. Rearrange the furniture: Changing an environment helps you feel refreshed, enabling you to bust out of a negative mood.

20. Sing: Sing along with a happy song (perfect pitch not required).

21. Smile: The act of smiling really does improve mood fast.

22. Sniff: Inhaling the scent of orange oil or lavender reduces anxiety and improves mood.

23. Snuggle: Climbing under a soft blanket for a few minutes makes you more relaxed and flexible.

Mood is determined by neurotransmitters (e.g., serotonin, dopamine and GABA). Low levels of these natural chemicals are the reason for a low mood and other emotional issues. Try some of the ideas above – right now – to get out of your funk.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples

Asperger’s and Difficulty in Understanding the Emotional and Social World

People with Asperger's have a tough time comprehending what’s going on in the social world. For example, they may pay attention to WHAT the other person is saying, but not HOW he or she is saying it (e.g., the term “thanks” may be a genuine expression of gratitude or a form of sarcasm, depending on the situation).

Many adults with Asperger’s have a desire to interact, but they often do so in an odd way. Many of them long to form romantic relationships (as they understand them) but may have little idea how to make the relationship work.

They may have very little insight into how they are perceived by others due to the fact that they have problems reading social or emotional cues. Their approach is often awkward and one-sided and reflects a lack of understanding that the other people in the exchange have needs and desires that have to be taken into account. As a result, “Aspies” may come off as pushy, insensitive, or strange.

The person with Asperger’s may be able to describe correctly (in a cognitive and formalistic way) the other person’s emotions and desires - but is often unable to act on this knowledge spontaneously and intuitively. As a result, the tempo of the interaction gets lost.

The lack of spontaneous adaptation and poor intuition is often accompanied by a significant reliance on rigid social conventions and formalistic rules of behavior. These traits are basically responsible for the impression of behavioral rigidity and social naiveté and that is often witnessed in the Aspie. Such social skills deficits may be somewhat masked in the early going of a romantic relationship - but may stand out in sharp relief once the Aspie begins to feel comfortable with his or her partner.

It is often said that the Aspie “lacks empathy.” In fact, some “neurotypicals” (i.e., non-autistic people) go so far as to say that the Aspie is sociopathic (e.g., extremely intelligent, but has no feelings for others). While this view may be understandable (especially in the eyes of a hurt, embittered neurotypical spouse), it’s far from being the case. 

A real sociopath is a cruel exploiter with a creepy ability to read and use others’ emotions against them for his or her own gain. In sharp contrast, the Aspie is simply clueless. For example, due to his social ineptitude and unawareness of social rules and expectations, he may make blunt requests of a sexual nature, or his intense “special interests” may lead him to commit strange acts associated with those interests.

Many people with Asperger’s are also accused of being rude and critical. Why? Because they tend to say what they are is thinking without the “social filter” that neurotypical people make use of. The Aspie may make a comment on somebody’s appearance, level of intelligence, disability, race, or political affiliation without any awareness that such a comment is hurtful.

The unapproachable and aloof Aspie has often been likened to Mr. Spock of Star Trek (all logic and no emotion). The less aloof Aspie may resemble Mr. Data (also of Star Trek fame). He was an android who, like Pinocchio, wanted to be a “real” person, but had great difficulty understanding romance, emotion, and humor. Both of these characters offer an opportunity for insight into what it may be like to be an Aspie – so smart in some ways, so lost in others.

==> Living With Aspergers: Help for Couples